Will all Christian Husbands Cheat?

obilove said:

I know that I'm going to upset someone with my first post. I'm sorry about that, but it's the truth as I see it...

Most men cheat because they can. Period. It's harder for a woman to cheat because we are too busy holding down the household or we get fat. Once we are done with that, then we become too old and no men want us. This is a man's world and God is a man. Women were an after thought, come a dime a dozen, and don't really matter much outside of sex and cleaning. We are replacable anytime with a much younger model. The truth hurts! The only ladies that might have it good are the ones that are as they say nowadays, Hot.

See men, thats why women have to try to go for the money and the kids because in the end that's all we get to have. Don't hate me, don't be angry at what I'm saying. It just is what it is. I understand why a woman would turn gay in these times. Btw, God said that we would long for our husbands, not the other way around. Think about that ladies. It is part of THE PUNISHMENT!

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Interesting point of view...but ya know...I disagree.

From the people that I know - my belief is that a boyfriend is much more likely to cheat on a girlfriend - but a wife is more likely to cheat than a husband.

chaz345 said:

The word filter won't let me say what I think of this post. Just let me ask one question. Who are these men who are cheating, cheating with?

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good point....never thought of that...

above post +1

obilove said:

I know that I'm going to upset someone with my first post. I'm sorry about that, but it's the truth as I see it...

Most men cheat because they can. Period.


Not so, millions of men never cheat even though they can, they love their wives far too much.

I am sorry you are hurting.
It sounds like you are hurting so deeply that you are not reasoning correctly.
I pray you take your hurts to God and ask for healing for them.
God loves to heal broken hearts.




It's harder for a woman to cheat because we are too busy holding down the household

If a woman was determined to cheat this would not stop her at all.

Just the same as with men, millions of women could cheat and choose to stay faithful, because they love their husbands far too much.



or we get fat.

Far more women do not get fat and still do not cheat or even want to, they love their husbands and God too much.

Even those who are fat still do not want to cheat,

however I think some fat women and men do cheat.



Once we are done with that, then we become too old

not really, reaching middle age does not stop a person from cheating.
loving their spouse and God stops them.Many middle age people are still highly attractive and do not cheat.




and no men want us. This is a man's world and God is a man.


Isaiah 66
13As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem.

Galatians 3:28
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.


God loves women and men equally , he saves and heals both equally.
He made women and men each special with special gifts and abilities.
He tells men to love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it.
That is a lot of love.
It sounds as though you have deep hurts, yet resentment will not be conducive to healing.





Women were an after thought, come a dime a dozen, and don't really matter much outside of sex and cleaning.

Women are highly valued and loved as wives, helpers, mothering to children,
carrying the children, what an honour, to get to do all these things.
On top of that we still get to have careers if we wish as well.
Women are doctors and lawyers and business women etc.


We are replacable anytime with a much younger model. The truth hurts! The only ladies that might have it good are the ones that are as they say nowadays, Hot.


Not so
Self confidence
genuine love and respect
joy and peace
being there for loved ones and serving
self respect
caring for yourself
meeting the needs of loved ones
reaching out to the poor
keeping busy
friendship
humour
inner peace
real love
tenderhearted
fun loving
surpass being "hot"


See men, thats why women have to try to go for the money and the kids because in the end that's all we get to have.

Go for the husband and the children
forget the money


Don't hate me, don't be angry at what I'm saying.

You sound very hurt

It just is what it is. I understand why a woman would turn gay in these times. Btw, God said that we would long for our husbands, not the other way around. Think about that ladies. It is part of THE PUNISHMENT!

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awesome, wonderful
longing for our husbands
what a delight


counselling
exercise
ministering to the hurting
reaching out to the poor
serving loved ones
loving loved ones
prayer and bible study
hobbies
are healthy alternatives to resentment

Proverbs 31


1The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
2What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?
3Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:
5Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.
6Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
7Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
8Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
9Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

To say all men cheat is the same as saying all women cheat. It's not true, but sadly it does happen.

obilove said:

I know that I'm going to upset someone with my first post. I'm sorry about that, but it's the truth as I see it...

Most men cheat because they can. Period. It's harder for a woman to cheat because we are too busy holding down the household or we get fat. Once we are done with that, then we become too old and no men want us. This is a man's world and God is a man. Women were an after thought, come a dime a dozen, and don't really matter much outside of sex and cleaning. We are replacable anytime with a much younger model. The truth hurts! The only ladies that might have it good are the ones that are as they say nowadays, Hot.

See men, thats why women have to try to go for the money and the kids because in the end that's all we get to have. Don't hate me, don't be angry at what I'm saying. It just is what it is. I understand why a woman would turn gay in these times. Btw, God said that we would long for our husbands, not the other way around. Think about that ladies. It is part of THE PUNISHMENT!

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This is wrong on a few points, the most obvious one is the fact that God is Spirit, not male, not female. God doesn't have a penis nor does Have breasts, and His character has been described in the male as well as the female. As for your reference to Genesis, it is a wrong exegesis on that verse. The curse says a woman will long for her husband but he would rule over you. The longing is the power to be in control, it's the desire to rule the roost, not a sexual desire.

Macx said:

Not all Christian men will cheat. I haven't. My father hasn't. My best friends, are all faithful to their wives. While I know it is a sin that God can forgive just like all the others, it just so goes against my value system, I'd probably have a hard time staying friends with someone if I knew they were cheating on their spouse. I put cheating on spouse right up their with molesting children and torturing animals as things I just can't abide. I think there are alot of guys out there like my friends and family, the cheaters get more attention, squeaky wheel & all that. Lots of us are out here loving and being faithful to our wives & quite happy in that.


I am sorry you got a bad apple Heismyrock2.

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Amen!

Part of the Punishment???? Is that your view of God - primarily a punisher?

What didn't Jesus achieve? Was his sacrifice and resurrection unable to undo all of Satans' authority?

That's not the Gospel, the Good News, that I know off. That's plain depressing and horrible.

John
NZ

Heismyrock2 said:

I'm not intentionally trying to be cynical here but I recently discovered that my Christian husband of 16 years has had affairs with over a dozen women over the course of our marriage. The last one was not even 2 years ago. (I still don't think he has fully disclosed to me the full truth).

I'm in a support group for betrayed women and going to a professional counselor as well as meeting with our pastor and his wife.

I'm so disheartened at how many Christian husbands (especially in ministry) cheat on their wives. Is this just something to be expected from men? I mean am I really that ignorant to think that a man who professes to love God would remain faithful to his wife?

I have always been there, available for my husband! I'm against the feminist movement in the church and believe that the wife should be submissive (not mousy) to her husband so it has not been because I'm not ready and willing to meet his needs.

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I am not sure if this would provide encouragement or not for you, but my wife and I had sex for about 8 times in the entire 2.5 years of our marriage, before we finally started the divorce process (long story). My wife had issues with sex and thought it was disgusting; so I rarely got any (as you could tell) and I have not slept with another women despite my predicament with my wife withholding or not wanting sex. If I could do it (minus the few slip-ups into porn), then it is possible for other Christian men to be able to not commit adultery by sleeping with other women.

I feel bad for you and your husband, because of what he has put you and himself through. He may have an addiction, it's easy for most men to become addicted to porn or other adulterous affairs, despite how much he believes in Christ. Our society (at least in the US) over glorifies sex into almost an idol or god in of itself; just watch your daily soap opera or other junk that is put onto prime time now-a-days, it is quite sad. This is not an excuse, but I hope it builds some understanding how us men are tempted every day with erotic gestures from tv and magazine ads, and so and so forth.

I'll pray for you and your husband, as I know the difficulties he faces with his addiction, its unfortunate that he has actually performed the physical act of adultery; to me it just as bad or even worse than lusting with the eyes and/or heart. As for you, I can only encourage you to stay positive and focus on God, there is always hope in God alone, He knows your pain.

Will all Christian husbands cheat? uhh... No.

I can tell you from past experience, that not ALL men cheat. I've been married twice and neither of my ex husbands cheated and I knew that for a fact. But they had their own issues. We all have our own issues, that is why we need Jesus. I'm sorry you were hurt.

We actually had a man in our church, come 'clean' in front of the entire church, about his unfaithfulness. He and his wife are still together. I imagine, it was a tough road, but they endured it.

There is always Hope that we have to hang on to.

Heismyrock2 said:

I'm not intentionally trying to be cynical here but I recently discovered that my Christian husband of 16 years has had affairs with over a dozen women over the course of our marriage. The last one was not even 2 years ago. (I still don't think he has fully disclosed to me the full truth).

I'm in a support group for betrayed women and going to a professional counselor as well as meeting with our pastor and his wife.

I'm so disheartened at how many Christian husbands (especially in ministry) cheat on their wives. Is this just something to be expected from men? I mean am I really that ignorant to think that a man who professes to love God would remain faithful to his wife?

I have always been there, available for my husband! I'm against the feminist movement in the church and believe that the wife should be submissive (not mousy) to her husband so it has not been because I'm not ready and willing to meet his needs.

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i feel for you i really doo...

sometimes being ready is not allways apparent to men, also getting the "not tonight honey because...." seems like deniel.. and he may have asked for something sexually (not breaking Gods rules, that it is only between a man and a women and no one gets hurt...) and a no was given without the possibility of a chance. both tend to go and find that desire elsewhere in that case.. i am very sure that is not the case in your case... my heart feels for you.

and some pastor cheat, because they fall to temptation.. satan hates people who are a potential threat and goes out of his way to tempt and does all he can to discredit and break that person...... it is more important than ever to lay your life down for your spouse and forfill their desires wether emotionally or spiritually..

Easyk wrote....
"it is more important than ever to lay your life down for your spouse and forfill their desires wether emotionally or spiritually.. """

I am curious....it seems like you may be saying that it is the spouses fault for the cheater cheating. While it is a fact that we need to make sure our spouses are satisfied so as to not be tempted it is ALWAYS the cheaters choice to cheat.

My husband cheated and we were having good sex every day. Some people just have a character flaw and nothing the spouse (male or female) does can stop it.

I personally think men used to cheat more than women but I believe the gap is closing. I wouldn't cheat on my husband because I loved and respected him. He obviously felt differently and lied about many things throughout the marriage. After 6+ months of prayers and pondering I have chosen to leave my cheating husband. His loss, his fault. PERIOD!

Heismyrock2. I will pray for you to listen to God for the direction you should take. There is only one person beside our Lord who can make the decisions for you. If you stay with your husband, that is your choice and God can bless your marriage. If you choose to leave, God can still bless you both.

Please know in your heart that your husband made a choice. You know that you were there for him and he chose to look the other way. That is his fault 100%. He needs to repent. He needs to ask forgiveness from you and our Father in Heaven.

God be with you in this very difficult time.
With love,
Sisters in Christ
Sandy

This is wrong on a few points, the most obvious one is the fact that God is Spirit, not male, not female.

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ummm not so, God is three ie the trinity.

1. God the father
2. Jesus the Word
3. The Holy spirit.

also when God made man he stated "Lets make man in our own image" i firmly beleive God is male. Not just because i am male, i see it for the way it is and how the world was designed (and scripture written). i beleive both man and women are both created by God and equal in many respects and unequal in others.. lets leave it at that huh? its just an opinion and no ammount of arguing will get me to change my opinion.

I am curious....it seems like you may be saying that it is the spouses fault for the cheater cheating. While it is a fact that we need to make sure our spouses are satisfied so as to not be tempted it is ALWAYS the cheaters choice to cheat.

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i never said it was the spouses fault for the cheater cheating.. just that in some instances needs may not be forfilled and tempation is harder to resist in those times.. for both sexes.. if needs are being forfilled than there is no excuse for cheating this goes for both sexes.

if however needs are not being forfilled, the one who cheated needs to repent and the other as well for not forfilling needs. that is how it is, i will never blame one because he/she did this or that...no it takes two to tango period.

We often mistake gender male/female for the broader characteristics of masculinity and femininity,which can transcend gender. It was humanity created as male and female that together expressed the image of God.

In Hebrew the word for Spirit is feminine, yet also part of the Trinity.

John
NZ

Heismyrock2:

Sorry for all that you suffered. I am from the other side of the fence 25 plus years a faithful husband. Not that I didn't have the solicitation to engage in cheating on numerous occasions. I have had women literally walk up and hand me there phone number...what is this for...you know....I am married...response...I don't care call me anyway.

That happened to me a number of times over the 25 years of my marriage. The women didn't care if I was married. But I did...I had a family that was a wife and children that meant much more to me than a temporary experience that could cost me the loss of my family. I always passed...thanks but no thanks.

What causes people to do this carnal stuff is someone indulging their fleshly desires. Women and men alike have these fleshly desires the same. Whether someone has morals and ethics that is the real issue. If God is first in a husband or wifes life (hopefully both united together in this) then the chances of one or the other cheating are probably slim to none for cheating to occur.

Being submissive and obedient to God should kind of naturally bring the love and consideration that would not even consider doing such a harmful and grossly selfish thing to your partner. So the issue should be more focused on how real that label of "Christian" is one hangs on his or her self.

This is probably just as true for liars, thiefs, gossips etc. etc.

And....true and real Christians can be lured and seduced into sin if the are not careful too. This is why regular bible reading and study, prayer, church attendance and fellowship are so important. You could call all this godly activity...an insurance policy of sorts against committing sins like that.

There is no such thing as a static Christian! You are either GROWING towards GOD or AWAY from him. Staying in a dormant or inactive state as a "Christian" might be very dangerous. God will allow you to be tested to see if your faith is real. Will you be ready and prepared...able to stand up to the temptation? With God's strength and power you certainly can.

Husband or wives need to have their hearts, conscience and minds tuned into the Holy Spirit channel that is the bottom line.

Husbands and wives may do well to look out for each other and mutually encourage each other to stay on the narrow path.

And on the subject of fixing a broken marriage double that advice and the necessity of what I just said. God can fix any broken relationship. Seek him out in truth and spirit. Ask for his wisdom, strength and guidance.

I am recently seperated (5 months) and I am trusting God to help my partner and myself to fix this broken marriage. God has been bringing me love and support through my Christian brothers and sisters and non-Christians too. That is offsetting the gut wrenching pain I feel sometimes.

I get beat down by that rather frequently, but strength and faith are now rising in me. The more people that pray for me the stronger I am getting. This really seems to help me alot, but I need more prayers to keep the momentum it seems.

This is my two cents worth.

Heismyrock2 said:

I'm not intentionally trying to be cynical here but I recently discovered that my Christian husband of 16 years has had affairs with over a dozen women over the course of our marriage. The last one was not even 2 years ago. (I still don't think he has fully disclosed to me the full truth).

I'm in a support group for betrayed women and going to a professional counselor as well as meeting with our pastor and his wife.

I'm so disheartened at how many Christian husbands (especially in ministry) cheat on their wives. Is this just something to be expected from men? I mean am I really that ignorant to think that a man who professes to love God would remain faithful to his wife?

I have always been there, available for my husband! I'm against the feminist movement in the church and believe that the wife should be submissive (not mousy) to her husband so it has not been because I'm not ready and willing to meet his needs.

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In ministry? In my church a pastor is defrocked for adultry. One would think that to be true in every church.

It saddens me that so many women are willing to completly sterotype men or certain men as people who are almost always going to commit adultry.

I don't think it's unique for just husbands to cheat. I know from personal experience that Christian/Catholic women cheat too. Take my ex wife (please) She left me, she said that it was because I "never" wanted to go anywhere with her, that was actually true, but I found out later that if I had of gone places with her I'd have been the third wheel because she was with her boyfriend quite often.
Basically I don't know why people cheat men or women, All I know is from my failed 21 year marriage and the few girlfriends I've had since my divorce is that I have real trust issues. I now prefer to be single because I just don't want to go through the humbling experience again.

Jesus said if a husband so much as even lusted at a woman without ever committing the act, it is sin. We need higher standards for husbands and pastors/leaders need to train them in how to behave more appropriately as this is the number one cause of divorce.

Pompa Mike said:

I don't think it's unique for just husbands to cheat. I know from personal experience that Christian/Catholic women cheat too. Take my ex wife (please) She left me, she said that it was because I "never" wanted to go anywhere with her, that was actually true, but I found out later that if I had of gone places with her I'd have been the third wheel because she was with her boyfriend quite often.
Basically I don't know why people cheat men or women, All I know is from my failed 21 year marriage and the few girlfriends I've had since my divorce is that I have real trust issues. I now prefer to be single because I just don't want to go through the humbling experience again.

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Husbands cheat far more often than wives. Let's keep the record straight and fair. I'm sorry to hear of your experience, but it doesn't change the fact that boys need to be taught from day one to respect females.