Why?

[GaveMeJoy]

Hey friends,

So I found a Christian girl who loves Jesus and we were both virgins on our wedding night and we had a beautiful Christian life together for 8 years and two amazing kiddos and then she cheated on me, became an atheist and left.

God let that happen and I feel like I grew alot from it and found joy in Him but the pain and damage is so bad. I was masking the pain with positivity and Christian type stuff but it’s still there big time.

Recently a coworker asked me out and I stupidly went even though she is not a believer. We hit it off and she is really amazing and she likes me a ton and I actually feel happy again when I’m with her.

I feel like I’m being tortured again. I went through horrible pain and then rededicated my life to Jesus and now this new person comes and reminds me of all the pain and damage I have, and God is letting this happen to me. Now I can’t be happy with this person because she isn’t saved and so I’m not supposed to date her, but I can’t go back to pretending I’m happy again.

Also I literally don’t want to stop seeing this last and I’m not going to unless God changes the desires of my heart back because right now I hurt and I went to him with it and it went away a little but was just hiding under there waiting.

I know I can’t marry this woman, we are totally different and not compatible and it will end so terribly...but I’m seriously over here like having zero desire to stop seeing her.

prayer appreciated. Any of you feel this way? Meet someone you shouldn’t be with in divorce rebound? How did you give that person up and go back to Jesus? If you didn’t what bad consequences were there?
Thanks all
J

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Every day, worldwide, and here, and there, those same fleshly temptations are common to men.
Few escape them .
They lead to , or come from, sin.

 

[Lost4words]

We are human. God made us. He knows us so much.

Dont give up on God.

Does this woman know how strong your love of God is? Is she open to believing?

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hey friends,

So I found a Christian girl who loves Jesus and we were both virgins on our wedding night and we had a beautiful Christian life together for 8 years and two amazing kiddos and then she cheated on me, became an atheist and left.

God let that happen and I feel like I grew alot from it and found joy in Him but the pain and damage is so bad. I was masking the pain with positivity and Christian type stuff but it’s still there big time.

Recently a coworker asked me out and I stupidly went even though she is not a believer. We hit it off and she is really amazing and she likes me a ton and I actually feel happy again when I’m with her.

I feel like I’m being tortured again. I went through horrible pain and then rededicated my life to Jesus and now this new person comes and reminds me of all the pain and damage I have, and God is letting this happen to me. Now I can’t be happy with this person because she isn’t saved and so I’m not supposed to date her, but I can’t go back to pretending I’m happy again.

Also I literally don’t want to stop seeing this last and I’m not going to unless God changes the desires of my heart back because right now I hurt and I went to him with it and it went away a little but was just hiding under there waiting.

I know I can’t marry this woman, we are totally different and not compatible and it will end so terribly...but I’m seriously over here like having zero desire to stop seeing her.

prayer appreciated. Any of you feel this way? Meet someone you shouldn’t be with in divorce rebound? How did you give that person up and go back to Jesus? If you didn’t what bad consequences were there?
Thanks all
J

Yes. It did not go well. It was short lived and I felt very stupid after the event. You are probably still burdened with unforgiveness - that's where the hurts come from. You may be having trouble forgiving yourself. The article that follows will help you. The man who wrote it was swindled out of a million dollar business by his wife of the time. He became a Christian as a result, but he still hated his ex. The Lord showed him how to deal with it. Can you forgive from your heart? - Christian Life Frankston

 

[summerville]

Hey friends,

So I found a Christian girl who loves Jesus and we were both virgins on our wedding night and we had a beautiful Christian life together for 8 years and two amazing kiddos and then she cheated on me, became an atheist and left.

God let that happen and I feel like I grew alot from it and found joy in Him but the pain and damage is so bad. I was masking the pain with positivity and Christian type stuff but it’s still there big time.

Recently a coworker asked me out and I stupidly went even though she is not a believer. We hit it off and she is really amazing and she likes me a ton and I actually feel happy again when I’m with her.

I feel like I’m being tortured again. I went through horrible pain and then rededicated my life to Jesus and now this new person comes and reminds me of all the pain and damage I have, and God is letting this happen to me. Now I can’t be happy with this person because she isn’t saved and so I’m not supposed to date her, but I can’t go back to pretending I’m happy again.

Also I literally don’t want to stop seeing this last and I’m not going to unless God changes the desires of my heart back because right now I hurt and I went to him with it and it went away a little but was just hiding under there waiting.

I know I can’t marry this woman, we are totally different and not compatible and it will end so terribly...but I’m seriously over here like having zero desire to stop seeing her.

prayer appreciated. Any of you feel this way? Meet someone you shouldn’t be with in divorce rebound? How did you give that person up and go back to Jesus? If you didn’t what bad consequences were there?
Thanks all
J

Maybe God put this woman in your path for a reason.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Maybe God put this woman in your path for a reason.

Just like in all Scripture ?
Remember the similar 'girls' /women/ put in the path of the Israelites ?
Balaam knew he could not curse God's people, but he still wanted the money offered him...

So he told the enemy king how to get God's people cursed.

 

[Lost4words]

Maybe God put this woman in your path for a reason.

I agree. God works in mysterious ways.

Just maybe this lady needs converting!

 

[GospelS]

Hey friends,

So I found a Christian girl who loves Jesus and we were both virgins on our wedding night and we had a beautiful Christian life together for 8 years and two amazing kiddos and then she cheated on me, became an atheist and left.

God let that happen and I feel like I grew alot from it and found joy in Him but the pain and damage is so bad. I was masking the pain with positivity and Christian type stuff but it’s still there big time.

Recently a coworker asked me out and I stupidly went even though she is not a believer. We hit it off and she is really amazing and she likes me a ton and I actually feel happy again when I’m with her.

I feel like I’m being tortured again. I went through horrible pain and then rededicated my life to Jesus and now this new person comes and reminds me of all the pain and damage I have, and God is letting this happen to me. Now I can’t be happy with this person because she isn’t saved and so I’m not supposed to date her, but I can’t go back to pretending I’m happy again.

Also I literally don’t want to stop seeing this last and I’m not going to unless God changes the desires of my heart back because right now I hurt and I went to him with it and it went away a little but was just hiding under there waiting.

I know I can’t marry this woman, we are totally different and not compatible and it will end so terribly...but I’m seriously over here like having zero desire to stop seeing her.

prayer appreciated. Any of you feel this way? Meet someone you shouldn’t be with in divorce rebound? How did you give that person up and go back to Jesus? If you didn’t what bad consequences were there?
Thanks all
J

I would strongly encourage you to take a fortnight leave from work (since she is your co-worker), take a break from the world, and get alone with God.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

We are human. God made us. He knows us so much.

Dont give up on God.

Does this woman know how strong your love of God is? Is she open to believing?

She knows but doesn’t believe. I’m not giving up on my Jesus but I’m hiding from the right thing to do.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

I would strongly encourage you to take a fortnight leave from work (since she is your co-worker), take a break from the world, and get alone with God.

Yes this is what I should do but I don’t want to. Does God just allow our sinful desires to win? I’m supposed to have the strength to overcome but I literally hurt every day. Feel weak

 

[GospelS]

Yes this is what I should do but I don’t want to. Does God just allow our sinful desires to win? I’m supposed to have the strength to overcome but I literally hurt every day. Feel weak

Sexual temptation/lust is the only sinful desire that God strictly warns us to avoid at any cost, not even go anywhere near it. It is like seeking your own death. How can your spirit be strengthened when your mind, body, and soul is not much available and in submission for God to work in you. God will eventually help us overcome, but we also need to act on His instructions if we love Him.

 

[Lost4words]

She knows but doesn’t believe. I’m not giving up on my Jesus but I’m hiding from the right thing to do.

I understand 100%.

Our flesh is weak. So is our hearts and desires.

I will not judge you my friend. Put all your trust in Jesus. Pass your concerns and troubles over to Him. He will help you.

The journey can be long and painful. I know through experience. I am still on that journey in life.

God bless you

 

[GaveMeJoy]

I understand 100%.

Our flesh is weak. So is our hearts and desires.

I will not judge you my friend. Put all your trust in Jesus. Pass your concerns and troubles over to Him. He will help you.

The journey can be long and painful. I know through experience. I am still on that journey in life.

God bless you

Thank you for giving encouragement to do what’s right which is what I know i need to do but am weak

 

[Lost4words]

Thank you for giving encouragement to do what’s right which is what I know i need to do but am weak

It is extremely difficult to fight our human fleshy natures. Only way we can win is through God.

Keep praying. Keep turning to God. Pleading for help and guidance.

God is mercy and love my friend.

God bless you

 

[TheDag]

From reading your post it seems to me that you have not dealt with the past hurt.
I know the world tells us that we are men and have to be tough however i can not recommend enough that you see a psychologist. You need to want to get the most out of it. It will cause some pain as when we deal with these kinds of things it brings them to the surface. However it is so worth it. Regardles of where this relationship goes i do not believe you will ever be truly happy if you don't deal with the past pain. You can do things that will take your mind off it but it will still be there under the surface. Our past experiences affect our actions. Not dealing with this could end up with you putting up with unacceptable behaviour simply because you don't want to feel the pain of being alone again. That is a dangerous situation to be in.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

From reading your post it seems to me that you have not dealt with the past hurt.
I know the world tells us that we are men and have to be tough however i can not recommend enough that you see a psychologist. You need to want to get the most out of it. It will cause some pain as when we deal with these kinds of things it brings them to the surface. However it is so worth it. Regardles of where this relationship goes i do not believe you will ever be truly happy if you don't deal with the past pain. You can do things that will take your mind off it but it will still be there under the surface. Our past experiences affect our actions. Not dealing with this could end up with you putting up with unacceptable behaviour simply because you don't want to feel the pain of being alone again. That is a dangerous situation to be in.

Horrible situation

 

[GaveMeJoy]

Sexual temptation/lust is the only sinful desire that God strictly warns us to avoid at any cost, not even go anywhere near it. It is like seeking your own death. How can your spirit be strengthened when your mind, body, and soul is not much available and in submission for God to work in you. God will eventually help us overcome, but we also need to act on His instructions if we love Him.

I do love him why can’t I do the right thing? Does it mean I don’t really love jesus? It just hurts sooooo much I want to be in heaven not here

 

[GaveMeJoy]

From reading your post it seems to me that you have not dealt with the past hurt.
I know the world tells us that we are men and have to be tough however i can not recommend enough that you see a psychologist. You need to want to get the most out of it. It will cause some pain as when we deal with these kinds of things it brings them to the surface. However it is so worth it. Regardles of where this relationship goes i do not believe you will ever be truly happy if you don't deal with the past pain. You can do things that will take your mind off it but it will still be there under the surface. Our past experiences affect our actions. Not dealing with this could end up with you putting up with unacceptable behaviour simply because you don't want to feel the pain of being alone again. That is a dangerous situation to be in.

Yea I have a Christian therapist but I can’t see her cuz of this covid stuff

 

[JAM2b]

Yea I have a Christian therapist but I can’t see her cuz of this covid stuff

My therapist has switched to online teletherapy. Maybe your's could?

When we have the tremendous wound of a divorce, it comes at us in waves, retreats and lessens - tricking us into thinking we are well - , then comes at us again. It's not a one and done thing that can be patched with a band-aid and then not thought about again.

It puts us in a place where we can be more easily swept up into new relationships that we aren't ready for, shouldn't be in, and have a higher than reasonable level of emotions over. There's this drive for love, acceptance, and to fill the void. It makes us want to do things that we wouldn't go for under normal circumstances.

So, I really, really think you need to rest until you are more healed. If you are going for someone you wouldn't typically want a relationship with, and have a hard time letting go even though you haven't had a relationship with her for a long time, it's indicative that this is a relationship out of pain, rather than healthy choices and true love.

 

[GospelS]

I do love him why can’t I do the right thing? Does it mean I don’t really love jesus? It just hurts sooooo much I want to be in heaven not here

I understand your pain and struggle. Give this over to God. I'm confident that you will overcome and be delivered because I know my God is faithful.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13