Why...

[kaykay9.0]

sorry, double posted

 

[kaykay9.0]

sorry, double post

 

[kaykay9.0]

deleted double post

 

[kaykay9.0]

deleted

 

[kaykay9.0]

I myself would wrestle with believing I had done this. At the time I did not know what OCD was. It is a very disturbing thing to think you have commited this. But, just look at the number of people who have went and go through the exact same situation that are on this board. That should tell you it is definitly an effect of OCD.

My own counselor told me that almost everyone who suffers from religious OCD feels they have committed the unpardonable sin at one time or another. It IS, as you say, very much an OCD issue. Not to say that everyone who struggles with it has OCD but conversely, if you have OCD, you are very likely to struggle with this. I dealt with it on and off for many years until I finally got to the place I believed deep down this wasn't something done by accident, by weakness, in a single moment or on a whim etc. I firmly now believe the maxim that "if you are concerned about it, you haven't done it."

Sorry for all these posts! I think it posted my message about 8 or 9 times!

 

[kaykay9.0]

It multiple posted on me!

 

[hisbloodformysins]

why does God have to have an unforgivable sin? Didn't Jesus come to save from ALL sins? Wouldn't that include this one? How is that God refuses to forgive someone who does this? Ugh it makes me sad, worried and angry. I just hate being me I don't want to be me anymore. I want to just not exist and wish I never existed in the first place. I don't like feeling like I want to commit this sin. I hate myself and my life so much. I have no reason to live anymore. Not God, not my kids, my husband..no reason to be here. I hate feeling empty I hate not having the right feelings..I hate that I like to do wrong. I hate that I am weak. I feel as if I have been stripped of all my morals and ethics and have been replaced by a psychopath who has no remorse or feelings. I have asked God to help me countless times and He did for awhile, but I screwed it up big time. Now I'm screwed; God has left me because I either committed the unforgivable sin or became an apostate. I have no hope anymore. God called me before and I accepted it I was happy to be with God and have Jesus as my savior. Why won't God call me again? I wish He would I wish He would let me know that I'm not lost forever, but I know this isn't going to happen.

I want to share a scripture that often encourages me...

"All of the lord's ways are loving"... God has not left you, he is always with you, and he will still help you.. .you haven't lost him, he's right here with you, and will always be with you no matter what you do. Please don't try to commit suicide... there is more to life then you see right now.

God Bless you!

The lord pour his blessings upon you! Amen.
HB

 

[tyield1102]

Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. I have another question..if you are worried about where you will go when you die does that mean that you still care about Jesus? I'm so worried and scared. I just want Jesus back in my life. I want to trust Him and rely on Him I want to be with God and be safe and not have to worry. Is that motive wrong? To want to be with God to be safe? I want to be loved by someone with no conditions by someone who will never quit loving me, who will never leave me no matter what I do. I just want to belong somewhere. I want someone to understand me in and out. I'm tired of living my life the way I am. I want to go back to when I first accepted Christ and the HS was doing wonderful changes in me. I want my mind back I want my peace and love back. I don't know if these are just my feelings right now and that is what all this is based on. I don't know what to feel anymore I don't know what I can trust in myself I'm just lost and confused. Sorry for rambling I just have not been able to really feel any of this for about a month and I'm happy to say that I'm glad I can fear that I've gone to far from God that I want His grace again. I thought my feelings were gone, but they have come back Thank you if read this whole thing. God Bless

 

[kaykay9.0]

Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. I have another question..if you are worried about where you will go when you die does that mean that you still care about Jesus? I'm so worried and scared. I just want Jesus back in my life. I want to trust Him and rely on Him I want to be with God and be safe and not have to worry. Is that motive wrong? To want to be with God to be safe? I want to be loved by someone with no conditions by someone who will never quit loving me, who will never leave me no matter what I do. I just want to belong somewhere. I want someone to understand me in and out. I'm tired of living my life the way I am. I want to go back to when I first accepted Christ and the HS was doing wonderful changes in me. I want my mind back I want my peace and love back. I don't know if these are just my feelings right now and that is what all this is based on. I don't know what to feel anymore I don't know what I can trust in myself I'm just lost and confused. Sorry for rambling I just have not been able to really feel any of this for about a month and I'm happy to say that I'm glad I can fear that I've gone to far from God that I want His grace again. I thought my feelings were gone, but they have come back Thank you if read this whole thing. God Bless

I don't think your motives are wrong at all. When we battle OCD and we start worrying about our salvation these feelings are only natural. I would just encourage you to work on the OCD by counseling or whatever.

 

[Jayangel81]

I have another question..if you are worried about where you will go when you die does that mean that you still care about Jesus? I'm so worried and scared. I just want Jesus back in my life. I want to trust Him and rely on Him I want to be with God and be safe and not have to worry. Is that motive wrong?

Whats funny is you have answered your own questions,Beloved

You also have to understand that alot of us do not come to Jesus for the right reasons, I know I didnt. But that is a work of the Holy Spirit within you. Just the fact thqt you desire God and that you are here right now , is proof that God is working in you and calling you.

We do not come to God, nor desire God in our own flesh. It is impossible! Our flesh wars against God in every way, we spoke about this This is very very clear in scriptures. That is what you need to rest on.

To want to be with God to be safe? I want to be loved by someone with no conditions by someone who will never quit loving me, who will never leave me no matter what I do. I just want to belong somewhere. I want someone to understand me in and out.

For some reasons as a man I have high needs in a relationship. some people might call me, "high maintenance" lol..

Anyway, I made a big list of all my needs that I need in a relationship, I honestly think God is the only one who was close to fullfilling it. In fact God fullfills every part. It was quite the eye opener really.

Thing is Tara, you want to be loved, you want to be safe, who will never leave you, who understands you in and out. Those are basic needs in a relationship, God has no problem in fullfilling all those needs and MORE.

Well, at the end of my list, the question wasnt "will God fullfill my needs" but the real question is "will I let God fullfill them".

Will you let God fullfill yours? I think you know how to let Him fullfill it

I want to go back to when I first accepted Christ and the HS was doing wonderful changes in me.

That is the funny thing about our Christian walk, we do not realize at times the work He does in us until it is finished. God is doing His work in you, I know this for a fact, be patient with God's work, it is a lifelong process. Rushing it is just going to put agonizing stress on yourself

I want my mind back I want my peace and love back.

You can have peace back, by trusting in God.

I don't know what to feel anymore I don't know what I can trust in myself I'm just lost and confused.

Psalm 118:8 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.

You know exactly what I am going to say about your feelings so I will not post it

Here is a question? WHy do YOU want to feel anything?

You want feelings as an assurance but it isn't. It never was an assurance of man-kind. it was always a delusion.

Would it make you happy if God gave you back all your feelings? So you can feel, His love, feel His Presence, His forgiveness, peace and joy, that you are saved.

I mean would that really make you happy? Because that is not Faith, that is to continue to trust in your feelings over God. God made it very clear OCD or not, we are NOT to trust our feelings over the Lord. But it is okay because God will teach you through it, to trust in Him instead. Confess this to Jesus and continue to let God teach you. Don't even look for the feelings. One day things will be made right but right now, this is something alot of us are going to deal with until we get better.

Search no more..for your feelings. All they will do is decieve you.

I cannot remember how many times I was told, "I love you James, but I just do not know how I feel anymore, I do not know what I want"(in some form or another) /ducks

No offense ladies , but seriously Tara none of us know how we feel at times.

 

[keryakos]

jay touches on some very important things here ..see i have been told both ways if you come to christ out of fear he wont accept you ..but if you come to christ out of fear he will accept you ..the idea comes from the belief that you must come with all the right motives ..but lets be honest that is biblically unfounded . in fact lets be even more honest ....There are no motives that are untainted by sin ..God doesn't help those who can help themselves he helps the helpless ....O Help of the helpless Abide With Me ..

 

[kaykay9.0]

Yes, actually, it reminds me of the scripture in the book of John where Jesus says "All that the Father giveth to me shall come to me and him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out." John 6.37 KJV

 

[michael714]

I'm new to the OCD forum; have been posting in the Bipolar forum for the most part.

I've been struggling with blasphemous and other dark thoughts and like Tara, had been terrified of them. It was hard to tell if these thoughts were coming from me, or the enemy, and what that meant. If the thoughts came from me it terrified me all the more. By what I believe was God's grace I found Grantley Morris' website a few weeks ago and it's helped me to calm down. It's not shut the thoughts down, but at least it's given me some tools to cope. What's helped me is to remember that the core temptation is not whether I've blasphemed God (not that I want to) but that the enemy wants to trick me into believing that the cross doesn't cover all of my sin. From reading Grantley's website I saw that I had been making some mistakes by looking at my feelings which sometimes felt like they were against God, instead of focusing on the truth. I now try (some times it takes a while) to remind myself not to focus on my feelings, no matter what insanity runs through my mind.

I hate being "mentally ill", and being bipolar and OCD is sort of a double whammy. Without God's grace I can't make it. I'm also glad I found this topic. It helps to know others are struggling with the same stuff, I mean, I was scared of telling other Christians (even my wife) I was hearing blasphemous thoughts because I didn't want to be labeled as a freak.

 

[kaykay9.0]

I'm new to the OCD forum; have been posting in the Bipolar forum for the most part.

I've been struggling with blasphemous and other dark thoughts and like Tara, had been terrified of them. It was hard to tell if these thoughts were coming from me, or the enemy, and what that meant. If the thoughts came from me it terrified me all the more. By what I believe was God's grace I found Grantley Morris' website a few weeks ago and it's helped me to calm down. It's not shut the thoughts down, but at least it's given me some tools to cope. What's helped me is to remember that the core temptation is not whether I've blasphemed God (not that I want to) but that the enemy wants to trick me into believing that the cross doesn't cover all of my sin. From reading Grantley's website I saw that I had been making some mistakes by looking at my feelings which sometimes felt like they were against God, instead of focusing on the truth. I now try (some times it takes a while) to remind myself not to focus on my feelings, no matter what insanity runs through my mind.

I hate being "mentally ill", and being bipolar and OCD is sort of a double whammy. Without God's grace I can't make it. I'm also glad I found this topic. It helps to know others are struggling with the same stuff, I mean, I was scared of telling other Christians (even my wife) I was hearing blasphemous thoughts because I didn't want to be labeled as a freak.

Praying for you. Yes, I am familiar with that website and in fact, I have frequently posted it here. The section with the "testimonies" is particularly strong I think.

Here's the website for anyone unfamiliar with it.
www.net-burst.net/guilty/scrupulosity.htm