Why would my brother in Christ takes his own life?, i cannot fathom. So sad, upset, confused & mad all at once. Why A person lives their whole life serving the lord then decides to to end it all. I don't know what to think, can anyone please shed some light on this subject?
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Why would my brother in Christ takes his own life?
- Thread starter handell
- Start date
I'm not sure why he would take his life.. I'm so sorry for your loss. 
You and his family and friends have my prayers.
You and his family and friends have my prayers.
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Welcome to CF ~ I am sorry for your loss 
Praying for the Lord's mercy in this situation ~ healing, strength, and peace
I hope you find support and inspiration here in your grief
Praying for the Lord's mercy in this situation ~ healing, strength, and peace
I hope you find support and inspiration here in your grief
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Broken Hearted
Who Cares
Im sorry for your loss. I lost my mom and brother to suicide. Both Loved God so much. And its a painful thing to go through. I dont think Ill fully understand the why. I know the pain they were in was great but the why will always be there. Im here for you if you need someone to talk to. You are in my prayers.
You are in my prayers.
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- Oct 21, 2009
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Dear Handell,
My brother took his life in 2005. My brother Jim was a good Christian and true Believer who fed the homeless and did many kind and good things for others - especially the poor.
Jim's brain was diseased. It had nothing to do with his Salvation. It was no different from having terminal cancer, and though we were able to stop him 5 times, he finally succeeded in taking his life. That is when his torment ended.
We were angry, hurt, confused, guilt-stricken for the first year. It passed over time, and we always knew he was in heaven. We have absolutely no doubts about that. He was an example to us all in his Christian faith. We all prayed for his healing. For whatever reason God chose, Jim's healing came when he entered Heaven.
Although I still don't understand it all, I'm glad he is where he longed to be for so long. Jim and I used to joke that he wanted to sneak into Heaven through the back door. I understood that.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Let the anger and grief do their work; as difficult as they are to bear, and try to not blame anyone - not yourself - not God - and not your friend. See it for what it is... a terrible and tormenting illness that your friend couldn't explain nor understand. It just was.
Again, I am so so sorry.
Father, give Handell your peace that passes all understanding. Give him the real and powerful presence of Your Holy Spirit. Ease his hurt and give him closure. Show him all that you want him to see, and protect him from those whose words might wound. Protect the family of his dear friend. Ease their grief and help them to become stronger through this. Help all who are affected by this loss find You. Let your name be glorified somehow, Lord. In Jesus name, amen.
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NostalgicGranny
Senior Veteran
When my brother committed suicide I felt a lot like you do now. Please try to keep in mind that depression is a disease. When someone is suicidal they can not see past their own hurt to see or feel anything else. Not the love of others, not religion, not what it would do to others all they can see and feel is blinding pain. Consider your sadness and grief over the loss of your brother in Christ and multiply it 100 fold and you may almost touch the sadness they are trying to escape.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for your loss.
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Hi,
I am a Christian who has seriously considered suicide, and recently lost a friend to suicide so I am aquainted with this.
For myself, I look normal but I have a neurological disorder called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It causes unwanted intrusive thoughts and doubts to afflict me day in and day out; part of this is scrupulosity which involves repeated unwanted blasphemous thoughts against God. There is never a day pretty much when my mind isn't assulted. No one in my church congregation knows about this; a lot of people with OCD don't disclose their disorder with people around them out of embarrasment. So a lot of OCD sufferers suffer in silence and alone with this. I thank God for this forum because it has helped me get help and support from other Christian sufferers. Most likely I will deal with this the rest of my life.
The point is, you don't know what was going on deep inside your brother in Christ's heart and mind. I planned to kill myself on November 6, of this year. In my heart I confirmed that this would be my death date. I planned where I would buy the rope, when and where I would do it, thought about sending my bank account info to my Mom by mail so she could have whatever money I had in the bank. Mentally rehearsed the suicide note I was going to write. I was serious. No one, no one at all knew about this plan or my pain inside. I didn't tell anybody because I didn't want anyone to stop me. I figured I would probably go to hell anyway. I figured my life felt like hell in some respects because of this disorder. I rationalized that I wouldn't be able to do anything useful for God anyway. Sometimes there are things that are going on inside of someone that for them feels too embarassing or difficult to talk about (OCD aside). Or, someone may not talk about the issues involved in wanting to commit suicide, because they feel nobody would really understand. Or, they view the situation as hopeless. Sometimes at Church services, it can be hard to connect deeply with people right before a Bible class or sermon or quickly after as people are about to leave. Yes, part of getting deeper support through fellowship is each person's own responsibility whether inside a Church service or talking privately with a brother or sister. However, when someone is dealing with the deep pain that is a factor in someone committing suicide, the motivation to even want to connect in a real way (or a way that addresses the issue) can be lacking. Sometimes, people don't want to talk about difficult things. Sometimes the person contemplating suicide feels like they would be a burden. Sometimes the reasons are complex and deep, as to why someone would take their own life.
I waited it out and did not take my own life. A friend of mine however, committed suicide recently. Her memorial service was held on the date I planned to kill myself. Dealing with my friend's suicide, I have a very different perspective now. I now understand first hand the affects suicide can have on people in that person's life. My life will never be the same. I think sometimes those who commit suicide lack sobriety or at least a full understanding of how it will actually affect people around them. Sometimes there are reasons that are so deep people don't feel comfortable sharing, or don't want to burden others. Sometimes the pain is so much to bear, that they consider suicide. I think the best thing to do is go forward, realizing you may never have all the answers, but you can try to be the best friend you can be to others in your life. Try not to fault yourself, as most likely the reasons were complicated and maybe even far removed from your own knowledge of this person. God bless and I wish you healing and help in this situation.
I am a Christian who has seriously considered suicide, and recently lost a friend to suicide so I am aquainted with this.
For myself, I look normal but I have a neurological disorder called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It causes unwanted intrusive thoughts and doubts to afflict me day in and day out; part of this is scrupulosity which involves repeated unwanted blasphemous thoughts against God. There is never a day pretty much when my mind isn't assulted. No one in my church congregation knows about this; a lot of people with OCD don't disclose their disorder with people around them out of embarrasment. So a lot of OCD sufferers suffer in silence and alone with this. I thank God for this forum because it has helped me get help and support from other Christian sufferers. Most likely I will deal with this the rest of my life.
The point is, you don't know what was going on deep inside your brother in Christ's heart and mind. I planned to kill myself on November 6, of this year. In my heart I confirmed that this would be my death date. I planned where I would buy the rope, when and where I would do it, thought about sending my bank account info to my Mom by mail so she could have whatever money I had in the bank. Mentally rehearsed the suicide note I was going to write. I was serious. No one, no one at all knew about this plan or my pain inside. I didn't tell anybody because I didn't want anyone to stop me. I figured I would probably go to hell anyway. I figured my life felt like hell in some respects because of this disorder. I rationalized that I wouldn't be able to do anything useful for God anyway. Sometimes there are things that are going on inside of someone that for them feels too embarassing or difficult to talk about (OCD aside). Or, someone may not talk about the issues involved in wanting to commit suicide, because they feel nobody would really understand. Or, they view the situation as hopeless. Sometimes at Church services, it can be hard to connect deeply with people right before a Bible class or sermon or quickly after as people are about to leave. Yes, part of getting deeper support through fellowship is each person's own responsibility whether inside a Church service or talking privately with a brother or sister. However, when someone is dealing with the deep pain that is a factor in someone committing suicide, the motivation to even want to connect in a real way (or a way that addresses the issue) can be lacking. Sometimes, people don't want to talk about difficult things. Sometimes the person contemplating suicide feels like they would be a burden. Sometimes the reasons are complex and deep, as to why someone would take their own life.
I waited it out and did not take my own life. A friend of mine however, committed suicide recently. Her memorial service was held on the date I planned to kill myself. Dealing with my friend's suicide, I have a very different perspective now. I now understand first hand the affects suicide can have on people in that person's life. My life will never be the same. I think sometimes those who commit suicide lack sobriety or at least a full understanding of how it will actually affect people around them. Sometimes there are reasons that are so deep people don't feel comfortable sharing, or don't want to burden others. Sometimes the pain is so much to bear, that they consider suicide. I think the best thing to do is go forward, realizing you may never have all the answers, but you can try to be the best friend you can be to others in your life. Try not to fault yourself, as most likely the reasons were complicated and maybe even far removed from your own knowledge of this person. God bless and I wish you healing and help in this situation.
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The reason is as complicated as ones life. And for everyone it seems to be a little different.
For me a feeling that there is no hope seems to be a key. That life will never be better than it is now and in fact will just keep getting worse each day and each year.
The inability to connect with people or family and feel like I matter in their lives.
The feeling that I am not doing anything worth while in life.
The feeling that I have nothing to offer others and the world.
The feeling that I am a burden, problem, embarrassment, and disappointment to my family and that they would be better without me does not help.
I also have the feeling that God had a plan for my life but I was too weak to take advantage of it. So this is all that is left.
The feeling that I am not strong enough to overcome social anxiety and move forward and be a better and more productive person.
Every day is a struggle. And I am here so I have won many days J
But struggles take energy and time. They wear you down.
The bible says specially that on earth there is a time for everything and a season for all activity
You do not plant in the fall you reap
I feel like it is the fall of my life and the seeds I tried so hard to grow just could not take hold in my soil.
Time is a factor like others have posted. You can win the struggle many times but it only takes one time to lose.
When you feel like your time or opportunity has passed it can be very hard to believe there is anything left.
I am very sorry for you loss Handell. May God grant you peace and the ability to turn this sad event into something good.
For me a feeling that there is no hope seems to be a key. That life will never be better than it is now and in fact will just keep getting worse each day and each year.
The inability to connect with people or family and feel like I matter in their lives.
The feeling that I am not doing anything worth while in life.
The feeling that I have nothing to offer others and the world.
The feeling that I am a burden, problem, embarrassment, and disappointment to my family and that they would be better without me does not help.
I also have the feeling that God had a plan for my life but I was too weak to take advantage of it. So this is all that is left.
The feeling that I am not strong enough to overcome social anxiety and move forward and be a better and more productive person.
Every day is a struggle. And I am here so I have won many days J
But struggles take energy and time. They wear you down.
The bible says specially that on earth there is a time for everything and a season for all activity
You do not plant in the fall you reap
I feel like it is the fall of my life and the seeds I tried so hard to grow just could not take hold in my soil.
Time is a factor like others have posted. You can win the struggle many times but it only takes one time to lose.
When you feel like your time or opportunity has passed it can be very hard to believe there is anything left.
I am very sorry for you loss Handell. May God grant you peace and the ability to turn this sad event into something good.
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He goes around like a lion seeking who he can devour, he's always waiting for the brethren to hit a low spot, and will fill there head with all sorts of destructive lies and false notions, he can drive even the Godly to the edge, we just pray that God will recieve this one who lost hope, personally I think that neither life nor death can separate us from the love of God. even if driven over the edge. my guess was this person was a huge threat to satans kingdom.
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NostalgicGranny
Senior Veteran
Edward,
Please don't lose hope.
In today's world where everything moves so fast sometimes its hard to keep in touch. I should call my brothers more often but I don't - it doesn't mean I don't love them.
A long time ago I read a story about an elder man in his late 90's he was depressed because he couldn't figure out why God chose to keep him when he had nothing to offer. Everyone else he had ever loved had passed away. One day a woman stopped to use the phone (her car had broke down out front of his house). She saw his apple tree and asked if she could pick up the fruit on the ground. He said sure take all you want. That woman was depressed because she had no food for her child. She was going to go home and kill her child and then kill herself. Because the man gave her those apples she changed her mind. In his twilight years he saved not one but two lives. And he eventually helped her to find God. So he helped save their souls as well. Who knows how many souls they will touch in their lifetimes. Sometimes the reaping the good Lord has for us to do isn't about things of this world or even ourselves, it's about something everlasting.
Lastly I want to mention down here in the south we do plant in the fall, and reap the same year. So keep planting.
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That is a great story NostalgicGranny.
Actually I am one of the few people that would still do something like that .. no cell phone.
Your story shows that God did have a plan for the man.
It can be hard sometimes to fully surrender to God will and plan.
It is when our plan is not even close to reality that depression sets in. I try and remember to surrender to Gods plan.
Thanks for the perspective on how it is done in the south!
Actually I am one of the few people that would still do something like that .. no cell phone.
Your story shows that God did have a plan for the man.
It can be hard sometimes to fully surrender to God will and plan.
It is when our plan is not even close to reality that depression sets in. I try and remember to surrender to Gods plan.
Thanks for the perspective on how it is done in the south!
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