akmom
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- Jun 13, 2012
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- US-Libertarian
To be fair, you can't coo and oo and ah over children. That would be insulting. Children don't want to be acknowledged that way. Babies do. They enjoy being looked at, talked to and held. It's developmentally appropriate. That doesn't mean people don't fawn over older children too. They just express it differently. It's less noticeable. It takes more time. You have to actually get to know them. (Whereas babies really have no personality; their appearance is literally the only thing going for them.) There's a lot of research suggesting that children cease to benefit from praise after about age 5, so that's in line with what the author is probably observing.
As for celebrities, I think pregnancy and babyhood is a brief window in which the press are actually able to get pictures. After that, privacy becomes an issue for the child(ren).
I personally don't see hostility from the child-free. My complaint is more about the unrealistic expectations. I'll draw an example from the article, about breastfeeding without a cover. Can you imagine eating your meal under a blanket? Have you ever tried to breathe under a blanket? It's so hot and uncomfortable. I can't imagine forcing a baby to do that. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, that he meant a veil. Even then (in my experience at least), babies don't like it and they constantly try to pull it out of the way. Why should feeding become a needless struggle? Those who are annoyed can more easily look away than mothers can completely hide their activity. And then to compare breastfeeding to the sexualization of women in magazines? As if it is even relevant...
What I've encountered is annoyance at bringing little kids into the "wrong gender" bathroom. Yes, my four-year-old is potty-trained, but the sink is about 6" above his head, and the paper towels another two feet, so yes I still have to help him. And yes, I have to bring the carseat into the bathroom stall, even if it's crowded; I can't just lay an infant on the dirty floor, or wash my hands while holding him. No, I can't run home real quick and breastfeed, since a newborn has to feed every two hours, and it's at least a 30 minute commute. Sorry, my infant is crying at the DMV, bank, doctor's waiting room, or checkout line, but I have to do these things too. No, there's no magic trick to make him stop; it's not that I'm "being lazy" and not dealing with it. It's just that I need to get my groceries/license renewal/prescription just like you, and babies cry all the time, so there's no perfect way to time it. No, I can't join you at a movie with 30 minutes notice. I feel like some people just don't understand what's involved in taking care of kids, and get annoyed by things that parents don't really have options about.
I should note that I've never encountered this hostility personally. But I hear some child-free adults complain about these kinds of things (looking for validation from me, as a parent), and of course online, where everyone loses their filter. I don't see children in bars, babies getting changed on dining tables (that warrants a call to the health department), or hear parents admitting they shouldn't have had kids. I mean ever. Maybe Alaskans are just more civil??
As for celebrities, I think pregnancy and babyhood is a brief window in which the press are actually able to get pictures. After that, privacy becomes an issue for the child(ren).
I personally don't see hostility from the child-free. My complaint is more about the unrealistic expectations. I'll draw an example from the article, about breastfeeding without a cover. Can you imagine eating your meal under a blanket? Have you ever tried to breathe under a blanket? It's so hot and uncomfortable. I can't imagine forcing a baby to do that. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, that he meant a veil. Even then (in my experience at least), babies don't like it and they constantly try to pull it out of the way. Why should feeding become a needless struggle? Those who are annoyed can more easily look away than mothers can completely hide their activity. And then to compare breastfeeding to the sexualization of women in magazines? As if it is even relevant...
What I've encountered is annoyance at bringing little kids into the "wrong gender" bathroom. Yes, my four-year-old is potty-trained, but the sink is about 6" above his head, and the paper towels another two feet, so yes I still have to help him. And yes, I have to bring the carseat into the bathroom stall, even if it's crowded; I can't just lay an infant on the dirty floor, or wash my hands while holding him. No, I can't run home real quick and breastfeed, since a newborn has to feed every two hours, and it's at least a 30 minute commute. Sorry, my infant is crying at the DMV, bank, doctor's waiting room, or checkout line, but I have to do these things too. No, there's no magic trick to make him stop; it's not that I'm "being lazy" and not dealing with it. It's just that I need to get my groceries/license renewal/prescription just like you, and babies cry all the time, so there's no perfect way to time it. No, I can't join you at a movie with 30 minutes notice. I feel like some people just don't understand what's involved in taking care of kids, and get annoyed by things that parents don't really have options about.
I should note that I've never encountered this hostility personally. But I hear some child-free adults complain about these kinds of things (looking for validation from me, as a parent), and of course online, where everyone loses their filter. I don't see children in bars, babies getting changed on dining tables (that warrants a call to the health department), or hear parents admitting they shouldn't have had kids. I mean ever. Maybe Alaskans are just more civil??
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