Why Stop?

[JillLars]

Ok, I think we need to remember that "fornication" is not just sex between unmarried people, its the sharing of lewd acts, which can be defined as self-serving, lust-based acts.

So basically you are saying that the piece of paper that says we are married is the most important thing to God...I'm sorry but I don't think that is the way it works. Even people who are formally married these days don't give a second thought to that piece of paper saying they are bound together. The only difference between my boyfriend and I and a married couple is a piece of paper saying so. We share the spoken promise, we've spoken that promise in front of family and friends, we just don't have a piece of paper saying so. It also says in the bible that your word should be good enough, that you shouldn't swear on things because they are worldly. So, why would God require us to swear our relationship on a piece of paper when we have already made the promise with our own words.

If I decide to leave my boyfriend and sleep with someone else, I agree there will be sin in that. He is the only person I have ever been with, and I with him, this is a risk I take, just as a married person has to risk the possibility of divorce. So, for those of you who suggest our relationship is weaker and that there is no committment because we are not married, I stress again, the only difference between us and a married couple is a piece of paper saying so.

 

[Hopeful]

Today at 01:57 PM JillLars said this in Post #61 

We share the spoken promise, we've spoken that promise in front of family and friends......I stress again, the only difference between us and a married couple is a piece of paper saying so.

what makes u so sure that the "spoken promise" cannot be broken? u keep saying the only difference between u guys and a married couple is a piece of paper, it is that piece of paper that makes them married couple, it is that piece of paper that ensures that promises wont be broken.




 

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

It's not the piece of paper that matters. It's the promises you make to God and your partner, and the covenant that this brings about.

The thing that puzzles me, why did you start this thread if you believe that you are right in doing what you are? You must have felt some conviction from God about it, no? I'm just curious..

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

what makes u so sure that the "spoken promise" cannot be broken? u keep saying the only difference between u guys and a married couple is a piece of paper, it is that piece of paper that makes them married couple, it is that piece of paper that ensures that promises wont be broken.

well, not so much the piece of paper, but the covenant (unbreakable promise) that it represents.

 

[S Walch]

Marrige was exactly the same in jesus time as it is in ours - apart from they didn't have registry offices.

You say all that seperates the marriage is a piece of paper - then why is that piece of paper causing you so much anguish?

You obviusly must have a little doubpt in your mind or else you probably wouldn't have started this thread.

If you love your boyfriend and he loves you - then a divorce shouldn't really be on the cards.

So your saying that if you get married you may get a divorce? But if you love each other then that really shouldn't be a problem if you get married.

 

[OracleX]

Just a forward note here: I do not mean anything said here to be a blast, just a simple response to you questions and you attitude about the answers. We love you and pray that God will help you see the errors of your ways.

We have all tried to tell you the right reasons and the truth about marriage and what it requires. You are set on believing whatever you like and not what the bible says. You have no covenant with you boyfriend. You may have promises but no covenant. If you were to leave your boyfriend there would be no breaking of a covenant, no certificate of divorce - just a broken promise. If you want to go one step further, ask yourself if you are married in the site of a court. If you are not, then you are not married either. God has placed government there and we are to abide by it as Jesus did when He walked the earth.

Although you have said that you were not here to just get the answer you want to hear, that is what it looks like as you reject the truth from the Bible. You say you are hear looking for the right reasons but reject all the right reasons. You don't seem to have any interest in doing the right thing but more in sharing the fact that you and your boyfriend are living together and having sex.

There is really no more to say to you and all we can do now is pray that God will convict you of what is right and what is wrong.

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

Amen, Oracle!

 

[S Walch]

You can tell that Oracle has delt with topics like this before

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

hmm, maybe...

 

[S Walch]

Judging by his post count - He looks like he's been here a while, so I'm sure a topic like this has cropped up - infact, there's one quite like it a bit further down.

 

[now_I_am_found]

Dear Why Stop:

   I have read your interesting question, and my answer to your question is a question.  Why keep going?  If you know that the bible says that having premarital sex is a sin, why keep committing it? The Word says that following the right path won't always be easy, and in this case it will be particularly hard.  You should talk this over with your boyfriend.  Has he proposed to you and are you sure that you are going to be married or are you assuming? 

   Best Wishes!

 

[S Walch]

I think JillLars was trying to say that she isn't planning on getting married in they way the law states.

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

mmm, maybe. But i thought she was planning to get married but they are living together first..?

 

[Evening Mist]

They are getting married (officially) in two years.

 

[IslandBreeze]

Yesterday at 11:11 PM now_I_am_found said this in Post #71

Dear Why Stop:

   I have read your interesting question, and my answer to your question is a question.  Why keep going?  If you know that the bible says that having premarital sex is a sin, why keep committing it? The Word says that following the right path won't always be easy, and in this case it will be particularly hard.  You should talk this over with your boyfriend.  Has he proposed to you and are you sure that you are going to be married or are you assuming? 

   Best Wishes!

Ouch! Good point; she has yet to mention a ring on her finger...Jill, I will say this for you: You must REALLY have a lot of faith in your boyfriend, because if you don't even have an engagement ring on your finger, there really is no commitment there. If he won't even propose, how can you be so sure you'll get married? (I'm asking because I've BEEN THERE. I dated a guy I was POSITIVE I would marry...he never did propose....)

 

[JillLars]

Ok, nope I don't have a ring on my finger yet, but my b/f is saving up for one, I have told him that he can buy me one out of a candy machine if he wants to, but he wants to get me an expensive one, and as I have mentioned before, money is tight, but he is saving up for it. And yes, I do have a lot of faith in him, he has never given me any reason not to. We do plan on getting married in two years, there are a lot of reasons why we are waiting the two years, some of them are pretty personal, if you want details PM me, I'd be glad to fill you in. The reason why I started this thread is that I have been told by sooo many people that I have to get married by a church or a preacher or else I'm sinning, the only good argument I have seen for that so far with biblical evidence is the scripture saying there must be a certificate of divorce. Even still, during the middle ages there were people that lived together and were having children before they were formally married. Although there were different reasons for them waiting than the reasons I give now, I'd like to believe that God knew their intentions and their hearts just like he knows mine. I would think that in this day and age people would realize the piece of paper saying you are married doesn't usually change much. If it did, we wouldn't have such a high rate of divorce. I don't think that divorce will be a problem for my boyfriend and I, I simply bring up the subject to demonstrate that the piece of paper has lost its meaning. Many of you say that I am in the wrong, but in the 70 some posts I have read here I've seen only a couple of arguments to back it up. The bible is very vague on this point, I don't know if I'm in the wrong or not, but I hope God will forgive me if I am. No one is perfect, and especially not when it comes to issues that are hard to interpret in the bible (i.e. homosexuality, birth control, ect.) I hope that God would forgive any of us who make a mistake in intepreting his word, I am sure it has been done by others before us.

 

[Hopeful]

Today at 12:47 AM JillLars said this in Post #76 

I simply bring up the subject to demonstrate that the piece of paper has lost its meaning. 

so why stop? u dont have to get married if u think "that piece of paper" has lost its meaning. i ask again, why stop? i am sorry if i am missing something, but i dont understand.

 

[IslandBreeze]

I am DONE with this thread. Jill, I'm sorry, but you are doing everything you can to twist things and get people to tell you what you're doing is okay. It is not okay, and I dont' want any part of this anymore. "That piece of paper" has NOT lost its meaning. What that "piece of paper" symbolizes means the world to me. I really get the feeling that you don't even CARE what God thinks, or what fellow Christians think, you're going to do it anyway. The Bible is NOT vague on getting married and pre-marital sex. You WANT IT TO BE so you can continue to live your life the way YOU want to.

 

[OracleX]

I am done too.

Basically what you are saying is that Gods way has lost it meaning and you have no use for it. If Gods way was hanging by your toe nails upside down painted purple with pink pokadots then that is what we are to do.

You choose what you want to do, you seem to think that you know better than God and His ways no longer fit for you.

You will be in my prayers.

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

Calm down Cammie, i know this is important to you, but harsh words aren't going to get you anywhere are they? sorry

Jill. From the early times in the bible, people have been getting married. Ever since biblical times, marriages have been conducted by a Pastor/Priest or someone who was considered a wise leader... not more important mind, just qualified to lead and to pastor their church. It was the same a Jesus time as it is now, only now we are more influenced by the worlds views and there are many people who just don't care about the Biblical teachings. It is the world that has changed, not us Christians! We are told to be in the world, not of the world, and that means living by Gods standards! God wants us to be pure for him, until we are married, and that means not having sexual relationships beforehand.
Secondly, marriage is a Covenant. Covenant are hard things to be made, because they involve lots of self-sacrifice, promises to both God and the other party, along with symbolic ceremonies that demonstrate the validity of the covenant. In my eyes you are not married, for goodness sake - even in the *worlds* eyes you are not married!! The world asks less for us to get married, and you have not even fulfilled those requirements, let alone Gods!
It's not about the piece of paper, thats irrelevant! It's about the covenant you make with your partner and God! ..and you have not fully made this covenant! You cannot have a half-covenant, it's impossible:

Covenant:

1. A binding agreement; a compact. A formal sealed agreement or contract.
2. A suit to recover damages for violation of such a contract.
3. In the Bible, God's promise to the human race.

It is a formal agreement - a contract! Most definatly nothing to be taken lightly! The piece of paper is just proof that you have made the covenant, it's not the means of its estamblishment!

Cammie obviously feels very strongly about this because of the great ammount restraint it has taken for her to refrain from having sex before she got married. I can understand how by what you are saying, it cheapifies all her efforts, and beliefs for that matter!

I strongly urge you to pray and fast about it, and trully seek Gods answer about it! I love you as you are my sister in Christ, and i pray that God reveals to you all that is necessary.

Love in Christ!!
Chris