Bingo!
Precisely !!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are right again. My goodness I am proud.
I do not think anyone throws away their life as being meaningless atheist or not.
You think your life is meaningful, its just that there is a small problem with that...
It is an exercise in self-delusion if God does not exist. If God does not exist, you exist for no reason or purpose that could be said to be rooted or grounded in something outside of yourself. You just exist like a rock or a moth or a piece of metal. You unlike they, can think and reason, but nothing and no one decided that you should think or reason. No one or nothing designed or made you to differ than they. You just are different than they in that respect. While you may think you are somehow better off for your ability to think and reason and this causes you to feel a certain way about yourself, these thoughts are just thoughts. They are by-products of socio-biological evolution like your hands or feet or teeth. You exist because you are the result of some natural occurrences that began a long time ago. No one decided or determined or planned that you were to be different than the worm. The worm is not deluded or deceived by ideas of greatness or significance like you are. But he is no better off or worse off than you. You and the tapeworm are one.
So when you speak of meaning and purpose you do so as a result of certain socio-biological processes interacting within your brain. These thoughts have no referent to anything outside of what brought you into existence. You exist in a closed system.
This is life if God does not exist. As long as you maintain God does not exist, you are speaking, thinking, living in a closed system. You, like the rock, will be forever bound inside this system as the mosquito was bound inside the fossilized tree sap on Jurassic Park. No scientist "out there" exists to stick his needle down into the amber to pull you out.
You just "are" until you "are no more".