From my high school years of absence from God, I asked myself that question. The devil won many battles against me. Everything he tempted me to do, I'd fall in, unable to get out. This is probably a common way of thinking for those who all of a sudden break away from God. I blamed God with all my life, and I'd always tell myself "God sucks. (*@)*(%" Honestly, that was my way of thinking. But again as a follower of God, I ask myself that same exact question. At time I need him, why do I feel like I'm just talking to a nothingness? When I'm struggling with an option, why don't I ever have that boost of courage? I understand that it's our decision and a test, but sometimes it just feels hopeless because what the devil shows looks too good.
Consider the world that is around you; There is a whole lot more of it that you
cannot see than there is of what you
can see and the same holds true for the existence of God. Because I cannot see this Being does not make Him non-existent no more that my not being able to see the roots of my Mesquite tree in the front yard means that they are not there. I know, by faith, that the roots which I cannot see exist because I can see the consequential evidence of those roots in the visible parts of the tree that are viewable. OK, it is tough to believe in a God that no one seems to be able to see. Don't complain about
this problem! We wouldn't survive the experience and can thank Him that He
has hidden His full manifestation from mankind out of mercy on His part and not from a motive to cheat us. "But He said, 'You cannot see My face; for no man shall see Me, and live' " - Exodus 33:20 When we view the universe around us, where order, design, beauty, natural law and rational conscious creatures exist everywhere, it is obvious that a Being of immense properties had to be responsible for such a creation. The fact that we cannot see Him doesn't change the evidential argument for His existence. If I want further evidence than an
assumptive kind of evidence, I can head out into my front yard, (Please don't ask me to do this,) and dig up the roots of the tree with a shovel just to prove that they really are there, and then I would have two different kinds of evidence to support my conviction. If God just doesn't seem to be there for you, and you are also not satisfied with standard, Christian apologetical evidence, then if I were you I would grab my shovel and start digging for some more
hard evidence. You will, (hopefully,) not succeed in actually seeing this Being, but you
will be able to see His visible works in your life if you dig real hard to find Him upon His terms and not upon your own. Jeremiah 29:13 - "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." If you are willing to throw out
anything in order to apprehending this Being, you will without doubt find Him as
He will find you. The sailors of the ship that was carrying Jonah were willing to throw out the cargo that they could live without in order to the saving of their own lives which they could not live without. Throw out everything that stands between you and knowing this God and you will soon have more evidence for His benevolent existence around you than you will know what to do with. He
is there, but we can only find Him upon His own terms. If this Being is truly the
Creator, then there is a whole world of joy awaiting that discovery.