Why is virginity mocked?

[acropolis]

Another thing about virginity that bugs me. If a woman is inexperienced, and hasn't gotten a very good education about sex, the first time can be awful. I cannot count the number of women I know who have had a very bad first experience. Even with the best of care there will most likely be tearing and bleeding. Hello? How is that fun? If I were a man I'd be hesitant to be with a virgin unless I knew a lot about what to do. And that wouldn't necessarily have to be sex, but at least a really good talk with someone who understands the issues involved. If a woman is to go on to have a satisfying sex life, she's got to have a relatively good first experience.

There's a lot that can be done to make the first time painless and enjoyable. In my limited experience as long as she's relaxed and comfortable things tend to go smoothly. It can take a lot of time for someone to get to the point where they're relaxed enough to go for it, but it's time well spent if it lets a person get secure enough to proceed without feeling pressured or anxious. This is one reason I don't like the tradition of losing one's virginity on the wedding night. That's a lot of expectation and pressure, which I feel can only make a person tense up. I think it's best to let it happen organically and recognize that there will be false starts and so on. Being the one to introduce a woman to sex can try my patience, but I appreciate the opportunity to provide a pressure-free experience for women, something some men aren't very concerned with.

 

[ryeaber]

I can't imagine life without God. I would be so lonesome, so sad, so depressed, so anxious, so ugly, so fearful, so angry, so resentful, so bitter, soooo dead. I couldn't live without God in my life.

I can't imagine how you do it. Truly, I can't imagine it. But I remember what it is like, and I can only say that I would never, never, never, never go back to where you are. NEVER!

I love God in my life, and I intend to do whatever I can to keep Him there. He is perfect love, perfect in everything.

He is wonderful. And I love every minute that I walk with Him, even ever second. It is too great to explain or compare. He is wonderful to me! I could never try any other way. The ones I tried were way too painful and lonely. I hate pain. I hate lonliness!

I can't live without God in my life. I truly don't know how you do it.

I say this with the utmost respect for your beliefs, but I shudder to think how closed minded and dependant on God you must be. You may not be aware, but you speak the same language as drug addicts. From someone on the outside looking in, it sounds no different than what I used to hear in my younger days, when “acquaintances” of mine would try to get me to try hard drugs, and couldn’t understand why I would ever want to decline. It’s really scary to hear the exact same words being used in this context – seriously, the exact same words, just substitute God with coke or special k in what you wrote in the above. I can’t help thinking that this kind of attitude, even when talking about God, is unhealthy. Have you ever considered talking with anyone about your loneliness issues?

 

[acropolis]

Religious belief and drug addiction have more in common than either the religious or drug addicts would like to admit. I know I experienced drug addiction as the presence of a very special friend, one which was always there in times of need and would never turn its back on me, one which I for a time believed I could not live without, that I would rather die young than be abandoned by, and so on.

 

[KarateCowboy]

Religious belief and drug addiction have more in common than either the religious or drug addicts would like to admit. I know I experienced drug addiction as the presence of a very special friend, one which was always there in times of need and would never turn its back on me, one which I for a time believed I could not live without, that I would rather die young than be abandoned by, and so on.

So you're saying that belief in a Creator, and His subsequent effects on the universe, has a lot in common with addictive chemical substances? That makes little sense. Have you read Mere Christianity? Does CS Lewis sound like a drug addict? What about Blaise Pascal? Shakespeare? Teddy Roosevelt? Benjamin Franklin? Christianity --of the orthodox variety -- is quite sobering.

 

[1Prophetess]

Insults aside, I'd like to know something.

1) Why don't I sound like I'm doing fine, and 2) How is your life different with god than without? What I mean by that is, exactly how does god make your life better? Be specific.

(As an aside, I'm trying so hard not to be insulting, I'd appreciate you do the same. I don't know how much longer I can hold my tongue with your snippy little 'tude.)

LOL Well, first, your most recently comment about "my snippy little 'tude" would lend me to think you weren't doing well. I'm sorry if I have a 'tude. But you sure made me laugh with your comment. But you have to understand, from my perspective, I don't think I was insulting you. I thought I was just stating what I saw. Sorry if I insulted you. I didn't really mean to--I don't think. (I really did used to be a lot meaner!)

So ten years ago, I had discovered that someone took the $10,000 out of my bank account, and the bank did nothing and wouldn't give it back because it was a family member. I also discovered that the bank had taken $8000 but wouldn't claim they did, and I couldn't prove it (had moved, lost the paperwork). That was after I couldn't sell my house which was depleting everything I had. I had lost my job, and I couldn't find one. So I basically had nothing.

Through a long series of events, I discovered I was able to live in a rental house. I rented a one room trailer, and my kids and I all got food poisoning so bad that I thought we were going to die. So I started praying and really seeking God. I had enough cash left for the first and last month rent. I moved 700 miles into a rental house and took a job that God gave me.

I did a lot of praying, and things began to turn around for me. I married, we purchased a farm (my ideal lifestyle) a couple miles off a main interstate in California. My DH built me a home on it. We purchased animals (which I love). We have some fairly decent folks working for us now. That makes me happy. Someone tried to set me up at my job about three years ago, but it all didn't work. Again, God delivered me. Over a year ago, DH lost his full time job. It was a struggle, but we made it.

My husband has a great job now making almost a six figure income (which isn't bad). I prayed for this, and got it. He loves it. There are a lot of perks with it including the fact that he is able to pay for a new (a couple of years old) truck that he had searched for over six months--a particular brand, used (too high costs to drive a new one off the lot). I was glad because he stopped taking "my truck" and left it here for me. I have a good job that I love, and I do things for people that I think are a blessing. I bless people in a lot of ways. That makes me happy. Tomorrow I am going to take a half beef to our church and donate it because DH and I have more than enough. Saturday, I am going to give things to three families so that they have a better Christmas because DH and I have more than enough.

I have a great deal of peace, and the Lord has led me find out some things I needed to know to be healed of things I needed healing about. I resist the devil and demons through the power of the Lord Jesus Christ, and they flee from me. I also ask that no evil spirits can come near me as a result of things I say and do. That also works for me.

I've been through a lot of hell all throughout the blessings I have, and although God doesn't promise a person that they won't have troubles, He does promise that we will have peace. I've had it most of the time through the troubles I've had in the last few years though it has not been easy. But without God in my life, I would definitely be dead today. And instead, here I am blessing you!

I could really go on, but I don't want to seem like I have a 'tude and sure as shootin' someone is going to say I have a 'tude about having things.

LOL Thanks for trying so hard not to be insulting. I don't write to people who insult me. I don't need that negative energy in my life.

 

[acropolis]

So you're saying that belief in a Creator, and His subsequent effects on the universe, has a lot in common with addictive chemical substances? That makes little sense. Have you read Mere Christianity? Does CS Lewis sound like a drug addict? What about Blaise Pascal? Shakespeare? Teddy Roosevelt? Benjamin Franklin? Christianity --of the orthodox variety -- is quite sobering.

Well I did try to explain what I was talking about in the post you quoted, but to elaborate, yes, religion can be experienced in a similar way to an addictive drug. The kind of believer that says they cannot live without it, that they feel empty and alone without it, and that they experience extreme anxiety and discomfort without it are speaking the language of addiction. Those like C. S. Lewis use religion to satisfy intellectual needs and probably don't experience the same distress when they feel separated from their religion.

 

[1Prophetess]

LOL

This is so funny.

If you ever had the filling of the Spirit, you would understand why you love it so much. If God is an addiction, I'll take it! Give me more, Lord.

I have to also tell you that I enjoy many things in life like this. I breed cattle. I find it fascinating, and I can talk about them for hours. I have other addictive behaviors too.

Nobody else in my life has said I was addicted to God. Thanks for the compliment!

 

[Mling]

Jro: Nice picture. Appropriate for the topic.

You look like you're descending into the pits of hell, screaming in agony.

...and yes, we have.

LOL Well, first, your most recently comment about "my snippy little 'tude" would lend me to think you weren't doing well. (I really did used to be a lot meaner!)

LOL!!! That is hilarious!

You make an utterly mean-spirited comment, loving complimenting an imagine of somebody being tortured, in agony.

Somebody says, "Please stop being so insulting," and you take their statement as a sign that they're having trouble without God. The same God who encourages you to throw your enjoyment of people's eternal agony in their faces.

Request to stop being so mean. vs. sadistic taunting about how you think they're going to be tortured, and you conclude that the person saying, "Please stop," is worse off in their life, then you are.

And then top it off with a statement about how you used to be even meaner.

ya know, this is relevant to another conversation I'm in now...love when these cross-post similarities come up.

 

[KarateCowboy]

Well I did try to explain what I was talking about in the post you quoted, but to elaborate, yes, religion can be experienced in a similar way to an addictive drug. The kind of believer that says they cannot live without it, that they feel empty and alone without it, and that they experience extreme anxiety and discomfort without it are speaking the language of addiction. Those like C. S. Lewis use religion to satisfy intellectual needs and probably don't experience the same distress when they feel separated from their religion.

Gotcha. Sounds like it would be best summed up by saying they can both be extremely engrossing. I've read that in psychology something (like a behavior) can be considered an addiction when you keep engaging it despite it's overall negative consequences. While a deep spirituality can be engrossing and life changing, it's reasonable to say that it's in a very different way than chemical abuse.

 

[GryffinSong]

1Prophetess, I know people who have been even more "down and out" than you were. They worked hard, they leaned on a few friends and family, and they pulled themselves out of it. The only difference between them and you, as far as I can see, is that they didn't need god to do it. They acknowledge that it was their own hard work and the support of their loved ones that got them through.

Now, that said, I think if you need and love god, that's fine. Whatever gets you through. But please don't assume that everyone's the same as you. I'm an artist. I feel joy every single day. I spend my life creating beauty. I feel just as uplifted as you seem to feel. But I don't believe in god. Never have. Ask my friends and they'll tell you I'm one of the happiest, most positive people they've ever met. Without a belief in god. Furthermore, I can handle being alone, fighting cancer, dealing with money problems ... all that and more without feeling dead or desperate or like I'm going to die. I know that I can draw on my inner strength, on the support of friends and family, and get through it. No god required. In fact, from my perspective, what you call god is simply your own inner strength. Strength that you've always had, but for some reason you need to attribute it to an outside influence. Again, this is fine. I have no problems with that. And I could be wrong. But please don't assume everyone needs what you need, or is as desperate as you were. It's simply not true.

 

[ryeaber]

LOL

This is so funny.

If you ever had the filling of the Spirit, you would understand why you love it so much. If God is an addiction, I'll take it! Give me more, Lord.

I have to also tell you that I enjoy many things in life like this. I breed cattle. I find it fascinating, and I can talk about them for hours. I have other addictive behaviors too.

Nobody else in my life has said I was addicted to God. Thanks for the compliment!

You breed cattle? That’s great, and I agree – it is fascinating. But do you think that you “can’t imagine” how some people don’t enjoy breeding cattle? That you “would be so lonesome, so sad, so depressed, so anxious, so ugly, so fearful, so angry, so resentful, so bitter, and soooo dead” if you weren’t breeding cattle? Of course not (at least I hope not) – because it’s not an addiction, it’s just something that you really enjoy. The language you used in reference to your belief in God was identical to the language used by some people who are addicted to hard drugs.

I’m not posting in this thread to make you doubt your faith – but ask yourself why you love God so much. If the answer is because your faith is the only way you think you can escape the “pain and loneliness” that you mentioned, is that True Faith, or are you using God as an escape mechanism to prevent yourself from dealing with whatever personal issues that you may have?

Also, congratulations on the job and marriage that God sent you. It amazes me to hear those kinds of stories, because all you had to do was sit at home in the trailer you were renting, and God sent you a job offer out of nowhere. And then God sent a stranger to propose to you out of the blue? Who builds you a farm? And now makes almost a 6 figure salary? Must be nice to be married to a man who can provide so much for you when you were unable (or incapable) to provide for yourself or your children. Obviously all of that can only be attributed to God, not to hard work or anything like that. And those who are stuck in the same trailer that they’re renting, whose children have actually died or are dying of things much more horrible than food poisoning, they just aren’t praying enough or hard enough, right? LOL – I know none of that bothered you because just like you, "from my perspective, I don't think I was insulting you. I was just stating what I saw".

 

[Larry Mondello]

LOL!!! That is hilarious!

You make an utterly mean-spirited comment, loving complimenting an imagine of somebody being tortured, in agony.

Somebody says, "Please stop being so insulting," and you take their statement as a sign that they're having trouble without God. The same God who encourages you to throw your enjoyment of people's eternal agony in their faces.

Request to stop being so mean. vs. sadistic taunting about how you think they're going to be tortured, and you conclude that the person saying, "Please stop," is worse off in their life, then you are.

And then top it off with a statement about how you used to be even meaner.

ya know, this is relevant to another conversation I'm in now...love when these cross-post similarities come up.

She doesn't get hyper-sensitive and take things out of context and claim other posters say things they didn't say, like a poster here.


She's explaining herself just like others here explain their (non) beliefs. The "former" Christians.

This is "Christian Forums," after all, not "atheist central" nor "let's knock God and those who believe in him" forums...."

She should feel no reticence to express her views.

 

[Larry Mondello]

Also, congratulations on the job and marriage that God sent you. It amazes me to hear those kinds of stories, because all you had to do was sit at home in the trailer you were renting, and God sent you a job offer out of nowhere. And then God sent a stranger to propose to you out of the blue? Who builds you a farm? And now makes almost a 6 figure salary? Must be nice to be married to a man who can provide so much for you when you were unable (or incapable) to provide for yourself or your children. Obviously all of that can only be attributed to God, not to hard work or anything like that. And those who are stuck in the same trailer that they’re renting, whose children have actually died or are dying of things much more horrible than food poisoning, they just aren’t praying enough or hard enough, right? LOL – I know none of that bothered you because just like you, "from my perspective, I don't think I was insulting you. I was just stating what I saw".

Nowhere does it say someone should just sit back and wait for God to bring them things. Nor do nothing in life to better a person's position.

"Those who refuse to work will not eat," the New Testament said of those freeloaders willing to let others pay for their food and housing.

Like a single guy in his late 20s/early 30s upset he's never been in a relationship.
He can't just stay holed-up in his apt. and hope and pray God will send him a mate.
He needs to do things like get himself out in church singles groups, other singles groups, society and among friends where he can meet people (a little revelation about my past).

Your attitude reminds me of Harry Truman, that old man stranded on top of his roof during a volcano eruption or a flood somewhere.

Numerous rescue parties tried to help him to safety, but he remained on his roof.

"God will rescue me," the old man kept telling the rescuers as he shooed them off.

After he died, he asked God why God didn't save him.

God answered, "I sent you a helicopter, a boat, etc. What more did you want?"

 

[ryeaber]

You're setting-up straw men...

I know, and I never post like that. I was trying to prove a point that you can't (or at least shouldn't) be insulting and then just say that "LOL - from my perspective, I don't think I was insulting you. I was just stating what I saw" (like she did) and that makes it all better. Nothing I posted was outside of what she posted, I just drew different (incorrect?) conclusions from her post in an attempt to presume a superior attitude (like she did).

 

[Skaloop]

You're setting-up straw men.

Nowhere does it say someone should just sit back and wait for God to bring them things. Nor do nothing in life to better a person's position.

"Those who refuse to work will not eat," the New Testament said of those freeloaders willing to let others pay for their food and housing.

Like a single guy in his late 20s/early 30s upset he's never been in a relationship.
He can't just be a couch potato and hope and pray God will send him a mate.
He needs to do things like get himself out in church singles groups, other singles groups, society and among friends where he can meet people (a little revelation about my past).

Your attitude reminds me of Harry Truman, that old man stranded on top of his roof during a volcano eruption or a flood somewhere.

Numerous rescue parties tried to help him to safety, but he remained on his roof.

"God will rescue me," the old man kept telling the rescuers as he shooed them off.

After he died, he asked God why God didn't save him.

God answered, "I sent you a helicopter, a boat, etc. What more did you want?"

Then why pray? If hard work alone can do it, but (as you mention) prayer alone cannot, what is the point?

Three scenarios:

1) Work hard, get results.
2) Work hard and pray, get results.
3) Pray, don't get results.



W=X
W+P=X

Solve for P.

P=0.

 

[selfinflikted]

LOL Well, first, your most recently comment about "my snippy little 'tude" would lend me to think you weren't doing well. I'm sorry if I have a 'tude. But you sure made me laugh with your comment. But you have to understand, from my perspective, I don't think I was insulting you. I thought I was just stating what I saw. Sorry if I insulted you. I didn't really mean to--I don't think. (I really did used to be a lot meaner!)

Perhaps I'm just reading insults where there weren't any intended. If that's the case, I sincerely apologize.

So ten years ago, I had discovered that someone took the $10,000 out of my bank account, and the bank did nothing and wouldn't give it back because it was a family member. I also discovered that the bank had taken $8000 but wouldn't claim they did, and I couldn't prove it (had moved, lost the paperwork). That was after I couldn't sell my house which was depleting everything I had. I had lost my job, and I couldn't find one. So I basically had nothing.

Through a long series of events, I discovered I was able to live in a rental house. I rented a one room trailer, and my kids and I all got food poisoning so bad that I thought we were going to die. So I started praying and really seeking God. I had enough cash left for the first and last month rent. I moved 700 miles into a rental house and took a job that God gave me.

I did a lot of praying, and things began to turn around for me. I married, we purchased a farm (my ideal lifestyle) a couple miles off a main interstate in California. My DH built me a home on it. We purchased animals (which I love). We have some fairly decent folks working for us now. That makes me happy. Someone tried to set me up at my job about three years ago, but it all didn't work. Again, God delivered me. Over a year ago, DH lost his full time job. It was a struggle, but we made it.

My husband has a great job now making almost a six figure income (which isn't bad). I prayed for this, and got it. He loves it. There are a lot of perks with it including the fact that he is able to pay for a new (a couple of years old) truck that he had searched for over six months--a particular brand, used (too high costs to drive a new one off the lot). I was glad because he stopped taking "my truck" and left it here for me. I have a good job that I love, and I do things for people that I think are a blessing. I bless people in a lot of ways. That makes me happy. Tomorrow I am going to take a half beef to our church and donate it because DH and I have more than enough. Saturday, I am going to give things to three families so that they have a better Christmas because DH and I have more than enough.

I have a great deal of peace, and the Lord has led me find out some things I needed to know to be healed of things I needed healing about. I resist the devil and demons through the power of the Lord Jesus Christ, and they flee from me. I also ask that no evil spirits can come near me as a result of things I say and do. That also works for me.

I've been through a lot of hell all throughout the blessings I have, and although God doesn't promise a person that they won't have troubles, He does promise that we will have peace. I've had it most of the time through the troubles I've had in the last few years though it has not been easy. But without God in my life, I would definitely be dead today. And instead, here I am blessing you!

I could really go on, but I don't want to seem like I have a 'tude and sure as shootin' someone is going to say I have a 'tude about having things.

LOL Thanks for trying so hard not to be insulting. I don't write to people who insult me. I don't need that negative energy in my life.

I can appreciate you coming out on the good side of some hard times. But what and where, exactly, did god actually do anything here? I mean, this could've happened with absolutely no divine intervention, no?

 

[Larry Mondello]

Then why pray? If hard work alone can do it, but (as you mention) prayer alone cannot, what is the point?

I didn't say it was all up to or about the individual, but if a person doesn't make any effort whatsoever....

God uses people to accomplish His purposes, but also performs miracles, whether that comes through people or other intervention. It's not for us to know precisely.
All I know is we have to make an effort. It's not all one-sided like we don't have any "free will" or role in any of this.

 

[1Prophetess]

... ask yourself why you love God so much. If the answer is because your faith is the only way you think you can escape the “pain and loneliness” that you mentioned, is that True Faith, or are you using God as an escape mechanism to prevent yourself from dealing with whatever personal issues that you may have?


Also, congratulations on the job and marriage that God sent you. It amazes me to hear those kinds of stories, because all you had to do was sit at home in the trailer you were renting, and God sent you a job offer out of nowhere. And then God sent a stranger to propose to you out of the blue? Who builds you a farm? And now makes almost a 6 figure salary? Must be nice to be married to a man who can provide so much for you when you were unable (or incapable) to provide for yourself or your children. Obviously all of that can only be attributed to God, not to hard work or anything like that. And those who are stuck in the same trailer that they’re renting, whose children have actually died or are dying of things much more horrible than food poisoning, they just aren’t praying enough or hard enough, right? LOL – I know none of that bothered you because just like you, "from my perspective, I don't think I was insulting you. I was just stating what I saw".

I love God because He is everything to me. I call on Him, and He answers. What else can I say?

I just don't see how I could be lucky enough to create all this for myself in a matter of less than ten years. If so, I must be a very lucky person...or alternatively, God has a hand in my life. Call it what you will.

Three scenarios:

1) Work hard, get results.
2) Work hard and pray, get results.
3) Pray, don't get results.



W=X
W+P=X

Solve for P.

P=0.

LOL

Solve for P
P=1,000.

Try these three scenarios:

1) Work hard, get results.
2) Work hard and pray, get results.
3) just Pray, and get God's will for your life which is even more.

Perhaps I'm just reading insults where there weren't any intended. If that's the case, I sincerely apologize.



I can appreciate you coming out on the good side of some hard times. But what and where, exactly, did god actually do anything here? I mean, this could've happened with absolutely no divine intervention, no?

I absolutely did not mean any insult. I just believe in God. So I went back and changed the Jro compliment to make it a little more generic.

God did all of it. I didn't do it. I don't see how a person can go from nothing to much in a matter of a few years. And frankly, I don't think I did a lot. Well, I did help in building the house. I painted the inside.

When you say it could have happened with no divine intervention, I can see it as being possible. But I was there. You were not. It happened with lots and lots of prayer. Prayer every day. Prayer and obedience.

So the Red Sea could have parted on its own too. But that also happened with divine intervention.

Miracles could have happened in my life by accident, but the ones I have experienced were pretty unlikely to just happen. So I can only say it was God. What else could it be?

 

[selfinflikted]

God did all of it. I didn't do it. I don't see how a person can go from nothing to much in a matter of a few years. And frankly, I don't think I did a lot. Well, I did help in building the house. I painted the inside.

And the guy you were with? What did he do? I'm honestly curious because you claim it could only be god's work, however I still don't see any evidence that points to god.

When you say it could have happened with no divine intervention, I can see it as being possible.

Ok, so you admit, then, that it's possible to do with no divine intervention. What, specifically leads you to believe it was god?

But I was there. You were not. It happened with lots and lots of prayer. Prayer every day. Prayer and obedience.

It's true, I was not there. However, I do know how religiosity effects perception. I used to believe god was "working" in my life, but now I realize it was simply me.

So the Red Sea could have parted on its own too. But that also happened with divine intervention.

Obviously, I don't believe the Red Sea parted as stated in the Bible.

Miracles could have happened in my life by accident, but the ones I have experienced were pretty unlikely to just happen. So I can only say it was God. What else could it be?

Chance, coincidence, fairies, Allah, Vishnu, leprechauns. Who knows?

 

[sandwiches]

If a religious person told you they were once an agnostic or atheist, would have more "cred" with you, right?

Not really, no. In fact, I would find less credible a theist who claims to have been an atheist, to be honest.

I wasn't of those beliefs but the analogy applies for my sexual experience.
Am not some prude pontificating about things he doesn't know about, like he's never been "tempted" or tasted that part of life.

Yes, but you didn't experience being a virgin until marriage, yet you speak of it as though it were the greatest thing.