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Why do you think it is so hard to find someone?It's like a never ending battle to meet a great person.
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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
- Thread starter sunshine100
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xtitech
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I think the “natural” place to meet is school or university. I read a study once. To befriend people requires >= 2 things in common plus multiple opportunities per week for spontaneous socializing. Once you start work, that becomes much harder.
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- Jul 1, 2013
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Timing is everything. Something people forget is that while they may be ready to meet their soulmate, perhaps their soulmate isn't ready to meet them yet. Maybe their soulmate needs time to grow or change. Timing is everything.
Be patient. The only lasting relationships come from tenderness, forgiveness and acceptance. Love can't be created, compelled or controlled.
But when it truly comes from the heart, it can't long be denied either.
Timing is everything.
Be patient. The only lasting relationships come from tenderness, forgiveness and acceptance. Love can't be created, compelled or controlled.
But when it truly comes from the heart, it can't long be denied either.
Timing is everything.
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Loyce KG
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I can't answer that but I know that God answered my prayer when I asked Him for Godly friends two years back.
If you're asking about a spouse...all I have learnt is to wait..wait and wait in the Lord. While I do that, I do what waiters do-SERVE!
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S.O.J.I.A.
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in many case an individual's drive to appease their lower nature far outpaces their drive for self-improvement.
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Epthediah
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In my case, it's a combination of shyness, social awkwardness, and resembling a Pillsbury Doughboy made of raw hamburger. The cheap aftershave doesn't help either.
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timothyu
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The internet age doesn't help either where one rarely carries on face to face conversations any more. The atmosphere of fear the government wishes to keep us under doesn't help either, when if you smile at someone they either turn away or start yapping about personal space being invaded.
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mnphysicist
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Some of it can be misguided beliefs, such as the teachings of Bill Gothard, and the young Joshua Harris (who wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye)
Some of it is due to a failure to develop appropriate dating and relationship skills (which ties into the above). Said skills don't develop overnight, and failure is part of the learning process.
When the skills are absent, desperation can set in, causing normally great guys and gals to come across as or even become creeper types... which reduces the possibility of success to nill.
Excessive fear of failure can lead to inaction, either in not meeting new people, or in not working upon themselves to become great people. Related to this are beliefs that God will come to the rescue with a perfect relationship when the time is right... such is not in the scriptures, and its a random chance as to whether this may come to pass.
And then there are just numbers....
Out of a hundred great people, the potential for mutual chemistry exists with only a few of them. This may occur immediately, or it may take some time to click, and it's not predictable as to when or if it will occur. Complicating this is that imbalanced chemistry occurs at a much higher rate than mutual chemistry. Add in that many potential couples don't have the skills, or are willing to put in the work, or are so afraid of failure, they won't put in the time to see if mutual chemistry can develop from a small mutual spark, that it goes out before it even has a chance.
So yes, its hard, but so much of the additional difficulty is under ones own control
Some of it is due to a failure to develop appropriate dating and relationship skills (which ties into the above). Said skills don't develop overnight, and failure is part of the learning process.
When the skills are absent, desperation can set in, causing normally great guys and gals to come across as or even become creeper types... which reduces the possibility of success to nill.
Excessive fear of failure can lead to inaction, either in not meeting new people, or in not working upon themselves to become great people. Related to this are beliefs that God will come to the rescue with a perfect relationship when the time is right... such is not in the scriptures, and its a random chance as to whether this may come to pass.
And then there are just numbers....
Out of a hundred great people, the potential for mutual chemistry exists with only a few of them. This may occur immediately, or it may take some time to click, and it's not predictable as to when or if it will occur. Complicating this is that imbalanced chemistry occurs at a much higher rate than mutual chemistry. Add in that many potential couples don't have the skills, or are willing to put in the work, or are so afraid of failure, they won't put in the time to see if mutual chemistry can develop from a small mutual spark, that it goes out before it even has a chance.
So yes, its hard, but so much of the additional difficulty is under ones own control
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I hope that you have found MANY great people while you search for a spouse (which I assume is what you mean). The difficulty is finding someone that you can see spending the rest of your life with. I think it is more amazing that any of us DO find that person...especially since both people have to agree that they want this.
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- Jun 25, 2008
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Most try to hard. Stop trying and be happy to live by yourself. Only God can provide the right mate.
I waited for 8 years and God brought me to the perfect woman for me.
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