Why is chastity/virginity looked upon as horrible?

[Lord_Marx]

Most likely it's a type of backlash from the days when a women's virginity was the judge of her value as a person. In general, male virginity was never held in very high regard (at least not close to that of women) so I don’t think society’s views on male sexuality have changed much.


The only real difference today is that women are typically no longer looked down upon for being sexually active.

 

[katautumn]

As an afterthought, I saw a post in this thread that brought up a question in my mind.

It is stated, oftentimes in debates similar to this one, that Christians hold sex in a much higher regard than "wordly" folk. I'm just wondering what that means, exactly, because most Christians I know had pre-marital sex whether it was with the person they eventually married or some sort of fling they may have had back when they were younger. I have also known celibate non-christians who chose not to have sex for personal reasons, such as using it as a time of reflection and personal growth. I guess I hear alot of talk about driving the abstinence message home more in Christian circles, but don't see alot of follow-through.

If sex is a gift from God that is supposed to bind two believers together does that mean sex is not a bonding experience between two non-believers? I know many Christians who say that when a man and woman get married and then consumate that marriage they become one flesh under God. Where does that leave us happily married non believers? I don't feel like the sexual relations that take place between myself and my husband are simply acts of selfish, carnal pleasure. We both feel the bond we have, the love that we share.

I guess I'm just trying to understand why something as natural and universal as sex is being over-spiritualized, as if Christians have better sex or place more value upon it than everyone else.

 

[quatona]

Hi!
I'd like to know why there is such opposition to the concept of chastity/virginity till marriage?

I´m not opposed to this concept. Everybody is free and welcome to practice it.

} If everyone practiced this, there would be no STD's, no children out of wedlock (so more likely in intact families), and a lesser need/desire for abortions, right?

Like, if we´d stop eating there wouldn´t be any food intoxications. If we´d stopped breathing we wouldn´t inhale all the bad stuff in the air. If we´d stop driving there would be no accidents....

 

[kopilo]

Hi!
I'd like to know why there is such opposition to the concept of chastity/virginity till marriage?

Chastity/virginity isn't looked down upon, some people choose to live their lives different from how we choose to and that is their God given right.

If everyone practiced this, there would be no STD's, no children out of wedlock (so more likely in intact families), and a lesser need/desire for abortions, right?

Rachel

No, it would be possible that people would marry younger. I doubt you'd have more 'intact families', especially coming from one where my farther was a cheat (I don't have anything to do with him these days).

STD's can still be transfered by married couples (at least to each other), if not via other means, such as AIDS and 'dirty needles'.

 

[Rae]

Why is chastity/virginity looked upon as horrible?

--It isn't. Next question.

I'd like to know why there is such opposition to the concept of chastity/virginity till marriage?

--I would, too, as I see no evidence that there is. I see people recognizing that in reality, especially since the age people get married has been pushed further and further back, people are NOT going to remain chaste and virginal. That's not "opposing" the concept, that's seeing that people will have sex and since they're going to, we have to make sure they don't spread STD's or have unplanned pregnancies.

 

[EnemyPartyII]

Its about choice.

 

[nvxplorer]

Bottom line is that I can list all kinds of worldy reasons why abstinence is smart - from biological to medical to psychological to social. But the reason I support it now is God says so.

I would think that educating someone on sex based on "God says so" can be quite psychologically harmful.

 

[EnemyPartyII]

The Biblical reasons in the Old Testament for abstinence being such a big deal are far more to do with ancient socio-economic concerns than any spiritual ones.

 

[nvxplorer]

The Biblical reasons in the Old Testament for abstinence being such a big deal are far more to do with ancient socio-economic concerns than any spiritual ones.

I'd be interested in what these concerns were, but I want to point out that modern concerns are socio-economic as well.

Teenagers having children is the biological norm, and was the socio-economic norm up until just recently. A sixteen year old mother is hampered because of our advanced economy, not because of some mystical prohibition against teen sex.

 

[Paulos23]

Hi!
I'd like to know why there is such opposition to the concept of chastity/virginity till marriage? If everyone practiced this, there would be no STD's, no children out of wedlock (so more likely in intact families), and a lesser need/desire for abortions, right?

Rachel

True, but if you did that you would miss out an a lot of fun.

 

[Robinsegg]

I would think that educating someone on sex based on "God says so" can be quite psychologically harmful.

How do you feel about giving all pertinent facts (sex-ed) and in addition telling them "this is what God has to say about it"?
Rachel

 

[selfinflikted]

How do you feel about giving all pertinent facts (sex-ed) and in addition telling them "this is what God has to say about it"?
Rachel

Hi Rachel,

With all due respect, I can't see where god is "pertinent" in any sex-ed - especially if we're talking about sex-ed in school.

 

[Robinsegg]

Hi Rachel,

With all due respect, I can't see where god is "pertinent" in any sex-ed - especially if we're talking about sex-ed in school.

Well, I've seen youth programs in churches have studies on sex. There are lots of materials for such. You're right that in public schools, there would be no room for mention of religion (except perhaps in passing historical reference, such as discussion of The Scarlet Letter). But private schools and churches do this training, as well.

So, if relevant information is proffered (normal sex-ed info), how do you feel about adding "this is what God says about it" in non-ps venues?

Rachel

 

[Robinsegg]

I would think that educating someone on sex based on "God says so" can be quite psychologically harmful.

Why would it be psychologically harmful? You see, the Bible makes it clear that sex is a beautiful and marvelous gift when in the appropriate setting. Why would that teaching be psychologically harmful?

Rachel

 

[selfinflikted]

Well, I've seen youth programs in churches have studies on sex. There are lots of materials for such. You're right that in public schools, there would be no room for mention of religion (except perhaps in passing historical reference, such as discussion of The Scarlet Letter). But private schools and churches do this training, as well.

So, if relevant information is proffered (normal sex-ed info), how do you feel about adding "this is what God says about it" in non-ps venues?

Rachel

I think that you are 100% correct in what you say. In a religious environment, I'd be very suprised if god wasn't in on the discussion (sex-ed or no). I concur that in a ps setting god should be left out.

 

[nvxplorer]

Why would it be psychologically harmful? You see, the Bible makes it clear that sex is a beautiful and marvelous gift when in the appropriate setting. Why would that teaching be psychologically harmful?

Rachel

I should have used "abstinence" instead of "sex." My post was in reply to this:

Bottom line is that I can list all kinds of worldy reasons why abstinence is smart - from biological to medical to psychological to social. But the reason I support it now is God says so.

My point is that teaching (conditioning, actually) people to act based on blind obedience can be harmful. Authoritarian worldviews cause people to react to orders, not think for themselves.

 

[flicka]

Why would it be psychologically harmful? You see, the Bible makes it clear that sex is a beautiful and marvelous gift when in the appropriate setting. Why would that teaching be psychologically harmful?

I don't have a problem with Christan's teaching their kids whatever they want to claim the bible says about sex, but it sure doesn't have a place in public education.
People need to know WHY they should or shouldn't do something based on real facts (there are good reasons for abstinence besides "god says so"). The trouble with what you claim "the bible makes clear" is that it really doesn't. Christan's today bicker over everything in the bible, including sex. There is no place in the bible that describes sex as being a beautiful gift AS LONG AS CERTAIN CONDITIONS ARE MET. We humans have made up a bunch of stuff that we ASSUME GOD MUST HAVE MEANT bases on what we personally think, and we get that based on what other people tell us, not from thinking it through and arriving at that conclusion.

 

[JesusWalks78]

True, but if you did that you would miss out an a lot of fun.

Yes, and the social p[roblems associated with it be damned......viva la fornication.

 

[ElvisFan42]

Yes, and the social p[roblems associated with it be damned......viva la fornication.

Not everyone having sex before marriage is having social problems, I've never met anyone who had any social problems at all from having sex outside of marriage (well, except those who were married and had sex out side of their marriage, but that's another subject).

 

[shye]

I too am getting sick of people looking down or feeling sorry for virgins. I am so sick of it I am thinking about being celebit(sp?), even though I doubt I will, but i am going to see how long I can wait until sex.