Why is chastity/virginity looked upon as horrible?

[Robinsegg]

Hi!
I'd like to know why there is such opposition to the concept of chastity/virginity till marriage? If everyone practiced this, there would be no STD's, no children out of wedlock (so more likely in intact families), and a lesser need/desire for abortions, right?

Rachel

 

[lynn18]

Because Satan is the prince of this world and he deceived many and Satan hates innocence and virtue.

 

[selfinflikted]

Hi!
I'd like to know why there is such opposition to the concept of chastity/virginity till marriage? If everyone practiced this, there would be no STD's, no children out of wedlock (so more likely in intact families), and a lesser need/desire for abortions, right?

Rachel

Hi Rachel

I'm not sure that virginity until marriage is seen as "horrible" per se.. I just think for some people, it's an unreasonable goal. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it and in fact, I think it's kinda sweet in a way.

Conversely, I don't think this ideal is right for everyone. I think it's a deeply personal choice, and one that should be respected either way.

 

[bammertheblue]

I actually don't think that virginity is really looked upon as being 'horrible' or met with all that much opposition.
I do agree that young kids are being increasingly sexualized, and that's very disturbing...but when I was a teenager, not all that long ago, there wasn't really a huge focus on sex. If anything, girls who had what their peers deemed "too much" sex were looked upon as [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth].

I personally don't really care what anyone else does. I do know that 1) I really enjoy sex; 2) I have safe sex; 3) "waiting until marriage" doesn't really apply to me as I do not plan on getting married. But I'm also an adult, not a teenager.

I think it should be a personal decision, basically.

 

[Garnet2727]

I certainly don't look at either chastity or virginity as horrible. I do think that it is conflated with abstinence only sex education which is something I oppose.

 

[gengwall]

Because Satan is the prince of this world and he deceived many and Satan hates innocence and virtue.

Ditto. Our natural tendancy is to rebel against God. That's what sin is. If God wants it, we don't. And the world tells us "bravo".

 

[Argent]

Hi!
I'd like to know why there is such opposition to the concept of chastity/virginity till marriage? If everyone practiced this, there would be no STD's, no children out of wedlock (so more likely in intact families), and a lesser need/desire for abortions, right?

Rachel

People have always engaged in sexual sin. True, there would not be STDs and unwanted pregnancies if people waited until marriage, and remained faithful in marriage, but realistically, in this world it just isn't going to happen.

Why do some people disparage chastity and virginity? It's complex. Part of it is guilt, envy, spiritual/moral rebelliousness directed at the behavior of others. Hollywood's lack of a moral compass and the influence it has on people. In the end, everyone is responsible for their own behavior.

 

[OdwinOddball]

Its not horrible, its just not for everyone.

I enjoy sex. I enjoy it a lot. I can enjoy it without deep emotional attachment. When there is love involved it ceases to be just sex and becomes a joining of two people. But I can also enjoy sex as just arecreational activity between two or more adults.

If peope want to remain abstinent till marriage, go for it more power to you, just don't ask me out on a date cause its not going anywhere.

Where I take umbrage with the abstinence movement is when they try to force abstinence on everyone else, and in particular when they try to substitute abstinance lectures in place of good sex education. One of the best things my parents did while raising me was ensure I understood sex at an early age( by 5 in my case) so that as my body developed it wasn't frightening or werid, it wasexpected. And so that when I did finally have sex I udnerstood what I was involved in, what its biological purpose was, and what the possible risks were.

Knowledge is power. If you want to remain celibate, fine. But don't assume that that is what will work for everyone. And don't try to hide behind abstinence only education as a substitue for proper understanding.

 

[selfinflikted]

Ditto. Our natural tendancy is to rebel against God. That's what sin is. If God wants it, we don't. And the world tells us "bravo".

Oh that's baloney. Why in the world christians want to demonize sex to the extent that it has been is beyond me. Sex is a very beautiful and natural expression. Personally, I can't stand it when people think of it as "dirty" because it simply isn't.

 

[gengwall]

Oh that's baloney. Why in the world christians want to demonize sex to the extent that it has been is beyond me. Sex is a very beautiful and natural expression. Personally, I can't stand it when people think of it as "dirty" because it simply isn't.

Not quite sure whose post you are responding to. I certainly don't think sex is dirty. I just think sex outside of marriage is against God's purpose for sex.

 

[flicka]

Hi!
I'd like to know why there is such opposition to the concept of chastity/virginity till marriage? If everyone practiced this, there would be no STD's, no children out of wedlock (so more likely in intact families), and a lesser need/desire for abortions, right?

There isn't opposition. I've never seen or heard anyone actively promoting people to go out and have sex. It's more of a reactionary thing...if you are going to do it anyway then use precaution.

Because Satan is the prince of this world and he deceived many and Satan hates innocence and virtue.

Thanks for that. I needed a good laugh.

 

[selfinflikted]

Not quite sure whose post you are responding to. I certainly don't think sex is dirty. I just think sex outside of marriage is against God's purpose for sex.

I respect that opinion, but I have to ask... What about the time before christianity? Were primatives sinning because they weren't "married"?

 

[gengwall]

I actually don't think that virginity is really looked upon as being 'horrible' or met with all that much opposition.

Maybe not opposition but it sure elicits much ridicule.

 

[gengwall]

I respect that opinion, but I have to ask... What about the time before christianity? Were primatives sinning because they weren't "married"?

Well, I base my position on Genesis, not Christianity per se. So, since the dawn of man, I would say that "yes", if you weren't in a commited monogamous heterosexual relationship that we would recognize as "married" you were sinning. That means, of course, that almost everyone in the bible was a sinner. Oh yeah, that's right, I almost forgot, we are all sinners. What a surprise.

Hey, I'm chief among the sinners. I didn't wait until I got married. And I had all of the rationalizations listed above. And in my case personally, it was very detrimental in the early years of my marriage. I know that isn't the case for many, but it was for me.

Bottom line is that I can list all kinds of worldy reasons why abstinence is smart - from biological to medical to psychological to social. But the reason I support it now is God says so.

Of course, I also don't believe in abstinence only sex ed and I don't believe in trying to force it upon people, especially through governmental action or social policy. But for me and my house....

 

[Robinsegg]

Just to clear the air . . . I'm not talking about instituing abstinence only classes (though that's certainly understandible in a religious setting). I do agree with timely, accurate sex ed which includes the fact that abstinence is the safest option. I'm talking about ridicule and our society's lack of respect for these choices.

Rachel

 

[flicka]

Maybe not opposition but it sure elicits much ridicule.

Not really. Believe it or not most people could care less who is doing what. If someone who is a virgin brings it up it's usually in order to make some kind of point about premarital sex being WRONG. Any ridicule or negative reactions are probably in response to that. And the fact that MOST people will experience sex at some point in their life so it's just awkward when someone older hasn't. I mean, what can you say to someone who announces their virginity? Nobody made fun of me when I was a virgin, but then I didn't advertise the status of my hymen either. It just didn't have a place in polite conversation.

 

[Robinsegg]

Well, say . . . in high school, everybody knew I didn't date and wouldn't be interested in sex if I did. They grew up with me and knew I was serious about my relationships and my "religion". That's not announcing or advertising, just that everyone knew where I was. That sort of thing could happen in any group of people who knew me, no matter at what stage I was in my life, if I wasn't married and they knew me very well.

Rachel

 

[gengwall]

Not really. Believe it or not most people could care less who is doing what. If someone who is a virgin brings it up it's usually in order to make some kind of point about premarital sex being WRONG. Any ridicule or negative reactions are probably in response to that. And the fact that MOST people will experience sex at some point in their life so it's just awkward when someone older hasn't. I mean, what can you say to someone who announces their virginity? Nobody made fun of me when I was a virgin, but then I didn't advertise the status of my hymen either. It just didn't have a place in polite conversation.

How old are you? My kids are fresh out of highschool and, at least in their setting, sex and who was and wasn't doing was discussed continually and those who were not doing it were viewed as freaks, put down, laughed at, and ostracised. Interestingly, this was primarily amongst girls. The guys, according to them, were a little more cool about it. Anyway, it is trickling down to Junior high now. My older daughter is mentoring two girls right now who feel compelled to become sexually active in order to maintain friendships and popularity. Peer pressure is alive and well in the teen world today.

 

[gengwall]

Well, say . . . in high school, everybody knew I didn't date and wouldn't be interested in sex if I did. They grew up with me and knew I was serious about my relationships and my "religion". That's not announcing or advertising, just that everyone knew where I was. That sort of thing could happen in any group of people who knew me, no matter at what stage I was in my life, if I wasn't married and they knew me very well.

Rachel

Aha - you must be exactly the type of girl Odwin is talking about that he wouldn't date. Imagine how many potentially wonderful relationships never happen because sex is a pre-requisite

 

[bammertheblue]

Aha - you must be exactly the type of girl Odwin is talking about that he wouldn't date. Imagine how many potentially wonderful relationships never happen because sex is a pre-requisite

I'm with Odwin on this one. I wouldn't date a person who would refuse to have sex until marriage. Not because I would think any less of them as a person(actually I think that's a pretty cool stance to take if you believe in it), but because TO ME, sex is important to a relationship. A "wonderful" relationship that didn't involve sex would be a wonderful friendship...but nothing more than that.
I wouldn't date a person I was sexually incompatible with in any other way, either, even if they did want to have sex.