Why is being in a relationship so important?

memoriesbymichelle · Feb 16, 2012

.Nevermore. said:
That doesn't matter.

IMO, age shouldn't matter or make someone's words mean less.

Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity - 1 Timothy 4:12

Just because someone is young doesn't mean they don't know what they are talking about...just my 2 cents.

I agree!

broken_one · Feb 16, 2012

Blind post: it's more me getting mixed messages than anything.

Person #1: Get married. It's what God wants for anyone, especially those with that sort of desire.

Person #2: Don't get married. A sexual relationship with a woman long-term is enough. Then when you get tired of her, just move on to a newer (implicitly better-looking) one.

Person #3: Drink up, bang out. Don't worry about the ladies, they will just flock to you.

Person #4: Get married, but be realisitic. With a person in you profession, getting a prenup or preparing to pay a large amount of money for divorce is very smart. Live your life.

Lots of voices, no real answer (or voice belonging to me). :\

MacFall · Feb 16, 2012

Why do starving people spend so much time looking for food? Shouldn't their hunger be a time for them to spend on strengthening their relationship with God?

.Nevermore. · Feb 16, 2012

MacFall said:
Why do starving people spend so much time looking for food? Shouldn't their hunger be a time for them to spend on strengthening their relationship with God?

That's a pathetic example. You need food to live. Good grief.

MacFall · Feb 16, 2012

You missed my point. Of COURSE a starving person should spend that time getting closer to God. We should do that no matter what. But that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with them for wanting to fulfill that natural (i.e., God-given) desire. Nor is it fair to assume that if someone is seeking to have a romantic partner that they are not using that time to grow in the Lord; nor again to assume that they will be less able to grow in the Lord once they begin dating and get married.

Personally, I have a great capacity for loving other people which can only be completely fulfilled if I have a romantic partner. I do not believe that God means for that desire to be unfulfilled - because the closer I get to God, the more I come to understand that God does not create desires that He does not intend to fulfill. In which case it would be both spiteful and dishonest of me not to act in a way that is conducive towards fulfilling my desire for a mate.

(Edited out the last paragraph because I couldn't think of a non-confrontational way to put it. Feel free to ignore it if you saw the original version.)

arborvita · Feb 16, 2012

K9_Trainer said:
I just think it's sad that people are so concerned about how other people live their lives. Idk. I guess I'm just one to mind my own business. People are different and find happiness in different things. I'm not going to assume somebody is unhappy and pity them because their lifestyle doesn't line up with what I think is ideal, or what makes me happy.

And I also find it interesting that there is so much hype on singles and unhappiness...I'm pretty sure I know more married people or people in relationships that are unhappy than singles lol.

This is true.

.Nevermore. · Feb 16, 2012

MacFall said:
You missed my point. Of COURSE a starving person should spend that time getting closer to God. We should do that no matter what. But that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with them for wanting to fulfill that natural (i.e., God-given) desire. Nor is it fair to assume that if someone is seeking to have a romantic partner that they are not using that time to grow in the Lord; nor again to assume that they will be less able to grow in the Lord once they begin dating and get married.

Personally, I have a great capacity for loving other people which can only be completely fulfilled if I have a romantic partner. I do not believe that God means for that desire to be unfulfilled - because the closer I get to God, the more I come to understand that God does not create desires that He does not intend to fulfill. In which case it would be both spiteful and dishonest of me not to act in a way that is conducive towards fulfilling my desire for a mate.

(Edited out the last paragraph because I couldn't think of a non-confrontational way to put it. Feel free to ignore it if you saw the original version.)

I did see the original. Thank you so much for making assumptions that you know things that you do not. You do not know everything. and I have said that I was wondering why people constantly COMPLAIN and feel the need to constantly BEG for a relationship and basically aren't doing anything about it. I don't CARE if people act like me, I know I'm not perfect, and you took my original intent completely wrong. Instead of insulting me, please direct your negativity elsewhere.

arborvita · Feb 16, 2012

My boss was trying to match me up with someone.... Has that happened to any of you before???.... Kinda awkward.

Jupiter Drops · Feb 16, 2012

I don't know. I like being single. I like to have lots of time with my friends and to myself. And it gets me to know God a bit more

Don't crush me world, it's not a sin to be single!!

lol

MacFall · Feb 16, 2012

Nevermore, I am sorry. I have been often (and unfairly) accused of complaining without doing anything on this forum and without any justification took your post as being directed at me. That's a bad habit of mine. I tend to personalize things too easily.

Blank123 · Feb 16, 2012

arborvita said:
My boss was trying to match me up with someone.... Has that happened to any of you before???.... Kinda awkward.

never a boss. coworkers, friends, even my pastor's wife when I was 19 tossed around the idea of setting me up with her nephew at one point, though he never visited while they lived there, so that never happened.

A setup *could* potentially lead someplace and when its someone I know knows me well enough to know at least the general sort of type I would mesh with, I'll at least meet the guy and see if there's anything there.

But if its an aquaintance (I wouldn't trust any of my current bosses to set me up) who is setting us up on superficial reasons, then yeah it would be awkward.

arborvita · Feb 16, 2012

I've worked with my current boss for going on 2 years but she has really gotten comfortable lately with our relationship as employee/friend and that was like... a bit much for me. I had to remind her that I work almost 55-60 hours a week (which I pointed out is more than her) and that my free time is non existent.... She had to think for a second and tell me that I was correct and that we could move on.

Jupiter Drops · Feb 16, 2012

arborvita said:
My boss was trying to match me up with someone.... Has that happened to any of you before???.... Kinda awkward.

Not my boss, but two of my friends kind of tried.

I didn't like it. I definitely didn't.

Socktastic · Feb 16, 2012

arborvita said:
My boss was trying to match me up with someone.... Has that happened to any of you before???.... Kinda awkward.

Yes. Frequently.

That's connected to his concern that i'm going to become a crazy cat lady more than any real "you two would be great together" opinions. Not awkward so much as unnecessary and time consuming.

Being set up can be a fun time for all involved though, if you're open to that sort of thing.

Megablue · Feb 17, 2012

Blind Post

I guess people complain about not being in a relationship mostly when they see the people around them moving into relationships and being happy. They begin to want what they don't have, and they feel like they should be where their friends and family members are in their lives.

I think that there is nothing wrong with wanting that, but it does tend to get frustrating to me as well when people constantly complain about it.

Taking the time to get to know God and work on your relationship with him is a good idea, but it isn't the only thing that you should be doing. You're going to need to do that as well later after you are married. Then it will be about growing as a couple and eventually as a family as well individually.

I think that it is also an important time to grow as an individual in non-spiritual ways. It is a good time to be adventurous and gain some life experience and learn about the world and yourself. Honestly all of that is going to help you in eventually finding your partner because it will make you into a more confident, interesting, and attractive person.

redblue22 · Feb 17, 2012

I don't really care for the idea of being single or married. I have problems and being single or married has nothing to do with that. I don't like being isolated or rejected. both can happen single or married. In a marriage I would not take crap. I'm not going through hell the rest of my life stuck with some jerk. anyway, I'm single, and when I meet someone new I feel a lot of excitement. it's fun and I want to know them. but often people misread that in me as meaning more than I meant. I mean, just because I look forward to seeing someone or their email or whatever doesn't suddenly make me easy, wrapped around their finger, or wanting marriage or sex or whatever. I can leave as easy as I come.

Ariadne_GR · Feb 17, 2012

Good post, I don't understand it either. I've always been single and I love it. Yes I've had dates here and there, but I wasn't 'more' happy while I was dating someone than when I was just single. To me, single life is my ideal but I know it's not that way for everyone. As long as you have friends who understand you and you can communicate with, you won't be lonely. You may wish for a partner when you see everyone else with one but you can still be satisfied with the life you lead.

redblue22 · Feb 17, 2012

thank you. I sometimes wonder if people read mine.

.Nevermore. · Feb 17, 2012

MacFall said:
Nevermore, I am sorry. I have been often (and unfairly) accused of complaining without doing anything on this forum and without any justification took your post as being directed at me. That's a bad habit of mine. I tend to personalize things too easily.

Oh it's fine. I understand what you mean. I tend to take things personally that aren't even meant for me. I was meaning in general, singles are grumpy people a lot Sorry for the misunderstanding.

singlewv2011 · Feb 17, 2012

arborvita said:
My boss was trying to match me up with someone.... Has that happened to any of you before???.... Kinda awkward.

My pastor's wife is obsessed with fixing me up. She always seems to choose women a lot bigger than me, too, like she wants someone who can beat me down if needed.

"Oh my, there is no woman imposing her will on him, we need to get him under control before he influences the others......."

(Tee hee hee).....

Why is being in a relationship so important?

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