Why is being in a relationship so important?

K9_Trainer · Feb 16, 2012

I just think it's sad that people are so concerned about how other people live their lives. Idk. I guess I'm just one to mind my own business. People are different and find happiness in different things. I'm not going to assume somebody is unhappy and pity them because their lifestyle doesn't line up with what I think is ideal, or what makes me happy.

And I also find it interesting that there is so much hype on singles and unhappiness...I'm pretty sure I know more married people or people in relationships that are unhappy than singles lol.

exitstageright · Feb 16, 2012

.Nevermore. said:
Why do singles constantly feel the need to complain about being single? As Christian singles (some of us) shouldn't we be taking this time to strengthen our relationship with the Lord and grow in Him? It frustrates me to see so many people down about being single. Now, I'm not talking about everyone, just a few people that I know. Being single is a blessing in my opinion. Take advantage of it! God is preparing that someone, and it will be worth the wait.

End rant.

IMO,it was GOD who created us to be in relationships.Remember in Genesis when GOD said"It is not good for the man to be alone"? If anyone knows what it is like to be lonely,well it has to be GOD. Just use your imagination. BEFORE there was anything ,or anyone,there was GOD. How lonely do you think GOD was before he created anything? GOD created us in order to have us worship him and to have fellowship with him. Now,for a little bit of theology,GOD consists of three persons,the Father,the SON,and the HOLY SPIRIT. That is a RELATIONSHIP.
On another note,life is a lot like a dance. They are more enjoyable with a partner.

.Nevermore. · Feb 16, 2012

exitstageright said:
IMO,it was GOD who created us to be in relationships.Remember in Genesis when GOD said"It is not good for the man to be alone"? If anyone knows what it is like to be lonely,well it has to be GOD. Just use your imagination. BEFORE there was anything ,or anyone,there was GOD. How lonely do you think GOD was before he created anything? GOD created us in order to have us worship him and to have fellowship with him. Now,for a little bit of theology,GOD consists of three persons,the Father,the SON,and the HOLY SPIRIT. That is a RELATIONSHIP.
On another note,life is a lot like a dance. They are more enjoyable with a partner.

I don't think you understood my point at all.

david13 · Feb 16, 2012

cuz twilight said so.

exitstageright · Feb 16, 2012

.Nevermore. said:
I don't think you understood my point at all.

Well......what was your point? Did not GOD put that desire in us to want and to have a relationship with someone or other people? That is why some people want a relationship so badly.Wanting a relationship is in our genes, and in our DNA. It is a biological drive to pass on our genes and our DNA.

.Nevermore. · Feb 16, 2012

exitstageright said:
Well......what was your point? Did not GOD put that desire in us to want and to have a relationship with someone or other people? That is why some people want a relationship so badly.Wanting a relationship is in our genes, and in our DNA. It is a biological drive to pass on our genes and our DNA.

I'm not even going to bother explaining. I will ask you this. Why are people called to celibacy if we have an intense desire to be in a relationship?

EyesOfKohl · Feb 16, 2012

Sometimes I get thoughts about desiring to be in a relationship, to have someone to talk to, go out with etc. But honestly, in reality, I just don't see myself in one, I find myself lacking in being attracted to people. I've never really had anyone showing interest anyway, never been in a relationship before, so I don't need it now. God willing, when the time is right it will happen, but until then it's a waste of time worrying about.

Lord Of The Forest · Feb 16, 2012

david13 said:
cuz twilight said so.

Now there's a voice from the past! How's Faith doing?

exitstageright · Feb 16, 2012

.Nevermore. said:
I'm not even going to bother explaining. I will ask you this. Why are people called to celibacy if we have an intense desire to be in a relationship?

A celibacy calling is a spirital gift.
The intense desire to be in a relationship is purely biological. I am a clinical (medical) science major. The "lust of the flesh" comes from the human hormone testosterone.The average male has about 10 times the amount of testosterone,as the average female has. When a man gets older,his testosterone level drops.The estrogen,that he inherited from his mother,starts to affect him more. This is one reason,that as a man gets older,his sex drive begins to drop,he may become less masculine,less driven,and,in some cases, less hostile.
it does seems strange that the creator would call someone to celibacy,yet give someone a strong desire to have sex in order to pass on ones' genes. That,to me,is like me buying a child a big carton of ice cream,showing the child the ice cream,by scooping it out of the carton,puting the ice cream in front of the child's face,while telling the child,"NO!....you can't have any!!"

.Nevermore. · Feb 16, 2012

exitstageright said:
A celibacy calling is a spirital gift.
The intense desire to be in a relationship is purely biological. I am a clinical (medical) science major. The "lust of the flesh" comes from the human hormone testosterone.The average male has about 10 times the amount of testosterone,as the average female has. When a man gets older,his testosterone level drops.The estrogen,that he inherited from his mother,starts to affect him more. This is one reason,that as a man gets older,his sex drive begins to drop,he may become less masculine,less driven,and,in some cases, less hostile.
it does seems strange that the creator would call someone to celibacy,yet give someone a strong desire to have sex in order to pass on ones' genes. That,to me,is like me buying a child a big carton of ice cream,showing the child the ice cream,by scooping it out of the carton,puting the ice cream in front of the child's face,while telling the child,"NO!....you can't have any!!"

Part of what you said is irrelevant. Being a clinical science major has nothing to do with Biblical studies more often than not. Seems like you are in an illogical circular reasoning. Yes, as humans we have a desire to be in a relationship, however, we should not exhaust our energy trying to find someone instead of growing closer to our true love. (Christ)

exitstageright · Feb 16, 2012

.Nevermore. said:
Part of what you said is irrelevant. Being a clinical science major has nothing to do with Biblical studies more often than not. Seems like you are in an illogical circular reasoning. Yes, as humans we have a desire to be in a relationship, however, we should not exhaust our energy trying to find someone instead of growing closer to our true love. (Christ)

The reason that I mentioned that I am a Clinical Science major,was to convince you that I do know what I am talking about.If you knew anything about biology,you would know that I am right when it comes to knowledge about our human bodies. Yes,you are right.One should not be obsessed with having a relationship. If a single person says this,then I am okay with that. What I DO NOT like is when a MARRIED person,who ALREADY is in a relationship,telling a single person about not thinking too much about being in a relationship. I would ask that person,"Well......if being single is all that great,why in the heck did YOU get married?"

Now,as far as me being illogical,THAT is sure a laugh! Women have told me....that I am TOO logical! They tell me that I am TOO analytical! Well....that is what I do for a living. I analyize human specimens. Therefore, I am in the SAME line of work that JESUS was in,when he was walking the face of the earth,being involved in helping sick people.

Inkachu · Feb 16, 2012

I think a lot of it has to do with how much time a person has on their hands, to do nothing but sit and focus on their loneliness AKA feel sorry for themselves. A person with a wide group of loving friends and family, who is active in their community (school, church, hobbies, etc), is probably less likely to pine for a significant other, than someone who has little or no friends and family, and who doesn't work or go to school or engage in activities outside the house much.

I think we'd all agree that everyone feels some degree of loneliness and desire for a mate at some time in their lives. That's just human nature. It's those who take it to the Nth degree, and act as if live just isn't worth living without a b/f or g/f, that I'm referring to here.

Inkachu · Feb 16, 2012

exitstageright said:
What I DO NOT like is when a MARRIED person,who ALREADY is in a relationship,telling a single person about not thinking too much about being in a relationship. I would ask that person,"Well......if being single is all that great,why in the heck did YOU get married?"

I know this wasn't directed at me, but I'd still like to comment, Exit. As most of CF knows, I didn't meet Don until I was 34 years old. That's a lot of years as a single person lol. And it wasn't all misery and loneliness and torture. So if I encourage a single person to be content and find happiness in their current state, I'm not being hypocritical. I know what it is to be single (and I've been miserably single AND happily single). And since I've been in both places, I do know a thing or two about how to make the most of your single years. It's not that I'm saying "Singlehood is better than relationships! Just ignore the fact that I've got someone myself!" But I believe in finding contentment and wholeness in whatever place in life you find yourself. And being able to tell others that I survived and didn't perish of loneliness, and God brought what I consider to be a miracle into my life (finally!)... I hope will be an encouragement to others.

Hope that makes sense.

redblue22 · Feb 16, 2012

I think in broad terms of wanting relationships. I could probably be perfectly happy single the rest of my life if I had several friends. The problem is that friends come and go. Friendships also usually fail to achieve any satisfactory level of intimacy. And I think the desire for marriage is really about the desire for permancy, safety, and deeper intimacy.

Granted, I would bet most marriages never accomplish what the couple actually hoped for. I think it should be the church's responsibility in our culture to help build relationships with one another at every level. I believe we are called to worship God by loving one another. But the opportunity for relationships in church is crushed in the religious machinery most Christians spend their time and energy on.

It is as if we are attending classes on evangelism. We are expert evangelists who have read all the books, but no one ever actually shares the message. Likewise, we hear and read all about relationships but never actually relate.

brohammer26 · Feb 16, 2012

I think it is normal for wanting a relationship and dont feel bad or wierd for that. I am not desperate but dont feel ok anymore about being single. I am almost 30. Not meant to walk this live alone. Like everyone else it just takes balance between your relations with jesus and with others. I also get a little frustrated when married people hand out advice. The combination of single and christian is much different than just a regular single person. People scare off easily when they know that you are a christian and your end game is marriage, marriage is something that usually does not come up until years after knowing someone and being phyically invovled. I have been in the secular world for some time so it just will take me some getting used to.

Inkachu · Feb 16, 2012

Also think people should be careful about proclaiming all of their knowledge and experience and wisdom and advice when they're very, very young. Seriously. A dash of humility goes a long way. When you've lived a few decades and experienced some things, then you can try handing out advice, but still lace it with modesty and the realization that you'll never know as much as you think you do.

redblue22 · Feb 16, 2012

I tend to think we very very young people have something to offer. perhaps the humility will come someday with age......

Inkachu · Feb 16, 2012

redblue22 said:
I tend to think we very very young people have something to offer. perhaps the humility will come someday with age......

Never said young people don't have anything to offer, nor do I believe that for a second

Toro · Feb 16, 2012

Blind post I did see something about age and advice so...

Generally age is not indicative of wisdom or great advice.

Age is more like a degree, sure it helps your case that your advice may be heeded, but is not a replacement for experience.

Youth can dispense good advice just as well as the aged, all advice should be taken with a grain of salt no matter who is dispensing it.

As for being single, if you can't make yourself happy (being single) how can you expect anyone else will?

I for one would love to meet the "perfect woman" but if I don't, so be it.

Hadassah_ · Feb 16, 2012

Celtic Heart said:
Also think people should be careful about proclaiming all of their knowledge and experience and wisdom and advice when they're very, very young. Seriously. A dash of humility goes a long way. When you've lived a few decades and experienced some things, then you can try handing out advice, but still lace it with modesty and the realization that you'll never know as much as you think you do.

I agree with this 100%.

And everyone's life experience is different too. I've been a parent for my entire adult life so my experience is going to be different than someone who has never had a date in his life. Neither are bad; just different and I think we need to take that into consideration instead of covering every single person with one blanket.

I am very content with my life. I am also at times overwhelmed and realise it's because it's all me doing everything and I don't have the luxury of a spouse to help out or step in. I understand this and I adjust my life accordingly. I'm not sitting around waiting for God to bless me with a husband, but I'm not opposed to it either. There are times I feel I could serve God more with someone else around, but I'm doing the best I have now with what I have now. I think that's all anyone can ask of anyone.

Why is being in a relationship so important?

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