Why is being in a relationship so important?

[.Nevermore.]

Why do singles constantly feel the need to complain about being single? As Christian singles (some of us) shouldn't we be taking this time to strengthen our relationship with the Lord and grow in Him? It frustrates me to see so many people down about being single. Now, I'm not talking about everyone, just a few people that I know. Being single is a blessing in my opinion. Take advantage of it! God is preparing that someone, and it will be worth the wait.



End rant.

 

[PinkSweetart]

Although I'll admit to having my "lonely" days, I don't mind being single or not single. I wouldn't know what makes others want a relationship so badly... suppose it's just feelings of loneliness, or seeing everyone around you in a relationship.

 

[.Nevermore.]

Yeah, I think everyone has their lonely days, but it's frustrating when being single is constantly being complained about. Might just be me though.

 

[PinkSweetart]

No, I know what you mean. I wont get frustrated when people complain, but I do with there was a way I could make them see things differently, or comfort them a bit. I know I enjoy the freedom I have being single. And there is a lot more time to grow in my relationship with God.

 

[.Nevermore.]

I think I should rephrase what I said about getting frustrated. lol I didn't mean to sound as harsh as I did. I get frustrated at their point of view, probably because I don't understand it.

 

[Lissa <3]

 

[Blank123]

hm. honestly I am coming to strongly dislike the argument that singleness is the time we're supposed to work on our walk with God and become stronger Christians. I mean I've also used it, but the more I think about it... it doesn't wash.

Yes single people need to be working on their relationship with the Lord and become the people that God wants them to be, (and for some it may be entirely the reason God has kept them from dating because they are not where they ought to be spiritually), but the same is also true of people who are dating or married. Its not like that goes out the window when we commit ourselves to someone. Or that we reach some plateau of spiritual greatness, and then meet someone, and life is perfect. Which is often how it sounds when people say this, whether or not its intended.

I think a healthy Christian relationship should have both people seeking to become the people God wants them to be, but with the added bonus of having an accountability partner who pushes and inspires the other to seek after God fully.

Sorry. I don't mean to nitpick.

I do believe that singleness can be a blessing and it is a time that God can use if we allow Him rather than waste our time being angry or upset that we haven't met anyone yet (and I'm talking mostly about me here ) because He can and does work powerfully through single people in ways that He may not with a married person. As single people we have more freedom and options to serve him than someone with a spouse or a family might. We only have our lives to worry about - we don't have to concern ourselves with a significant other or children if we feel called to venture in to DRC to be a missionary. Just as an example.

both singleness and relationships are hard lives, but both are blessings. just in different ways. and we have to open our eyes to see that sometimes.

 

[Lissa <3]

 

[.Nevermore.]

hm. honestly I am coming to strongly dislike the argument that singleness is the time we're supposed to work on our walk with God and become stronger Christians. I mean I've also used it, but the more I think about it... it doesn't wash.

Yes single people need to be working on their relationship with the Lord and become the people that God wants them to be, but the same is also true of people who are dating or married. Its not like that goes out the window when we commit ourselves to someone. Or that we reach some plateau of spiritual greatness, and then meet someone, and life is perfect. Which is often how it sounds when people say this, whether or not its intended.

I think a healthy Christian relationship should have both people seeking to become the people God wants them to be, but with the added bonus of having an accountability partner who pushes and inspires the other to seek after God fully.

Sorry. I don't mean to nitpick.

I do believe that singleness can be a blessing and it is a time that God can use if we allow Him rather than waste our time being angry or upset that we haven't met anyone yet (and I'm talking mostly about me here ) because He can and does work powerfully through single people in ways that He may not with a married person. As single people we have more freedom and options to serve him than someone with a spouse or a family might. We only have our lives to worry about - we don't have to concern ourselves with a significant other or children if we feel called to venture in to DRC to be a missionary. Just as an example.

both singleness and relationships are hard lives, but both are blessings. just in different ways. and we have to open our eyes to see that sometimes.

I see where you are coming from, however, the point I am trying to make is that when you are in a relationship you tend to focus on your relationship with the other person instead of your relationship with Christ. Unfortunately, I've seen many couples slip in their walks because they lost their focus. So, that's why I believe that it is a good use of time while single to focus a lot of your energy on Christ and continuing to build your relationship. You really can never grow in Christ too much. Just my opinion.

 

[The True Carpenter]

Well said lafillecherie....but just to let everyone know, I love being single.

 

[K9_Trainer]

What I don't understand is where all this reported pressure is coming from for singles to be in a relationship. You guys must have some odd friends/family or encounter some odd people or something. When I've was single, I was always praised for it and given encouragement. Not in such a way that people didn't WANT me to get a partner, just praise for being so independent and smart about dating, and encouragement that I can be happy alone and it's good to be single.

 

[Lord Of The Forest]

Why do singles constantly feel the need to complain about being single? As Christian singles (some of us) shouldn't we be taking this time to strengthen our relationship with the Lord and grow in Him? It frustrates me to see so many people down about being single. Now, I'm not talking about everyone, just a few people that I know. Being single is a blessing in my opinion. Take advantage of it! God is preparing that someone, and it will be worth the wait.



End rant.

This is such a wonderful post.

I used to obsess over getting into a relationship with a particular girl; but as I've grown more spiritually, I've come to the same conclusion as Tori: Singleness is a blessing! Not only am I not ready to be married, but I don't want to be married, or have the commitment of a girlfriend* at this point. The reason being that there are some things that I desperately need to do before entering a relationship and get married—prepare my house, finish some of my studies and get a job, and get really where I need to be with the Lord.

* Blanketing courtship, betrothal, and all in between.

A boy or girlfriend is greatly desirable, and I do want a girlfriend one day**, but I know there are some very important things I must do without the distraction and hindrance of a girlfriend—let alone a wife and little ones. A girlfriend or wife and children are excellent things, but at this point they would be only a grave interference.

** Although I have always harboured a morbid fascination with taking a vow of celibacy and going insane in the company of my cat and books within my cloistered domicile.


Celebrate your singleness, my friends! In His time, God will provide you with the person of your dreams who is perfect for you in every way! In the meantime, do not be idle, and forestall by preparing for your married life now.

 

[The True Carpenter]

Agree with K9 Trainer as well.

 

[.Nevermore.]

What I don't understand is where all this reported pressure is coming from for singles to be in a relationship. You guys must have some odd friends/family or encounter some odd people or something. When I've was single, I was always praised for it and given encouragement. Not in such a way that people didn't WANT me to get a partner, just praise for being so independent and smart about dating, and encouragement that I can be happy alone and it's good to be single.

I get it mostly from my family and sorority sisters.

 

[Lissa <3]

 

[.Nevermore.]

I can't speak for everyone else, but in my situation it is probably a cultural thing.

Where are you from?

 

[Lissa <3]

Where are you from?

Check your reps.

 

[Blank123]

I see where you are coming from, however, the point I am trying to make is that when you are in a relationship you tend to focus on your relationship with the other person instead of your relationship with Christ. Unfortunately, I've seen many couples slip in their walks because they lost their focus. So, that's why I believe that it is a good use of time while single to focus a lot of your energy on Christ and continuing to build your relationship. You really can never grow in Christ too much. Just my opinion.

yup. thats the thing. no matter what stage of life we're in... there's always going to be distractions from God.

When I'm single, i'll be distracted by my desire for a relationship. Or a crush.

While I'm dating/married, I'll be distracted by my significant other.

When I'm a mother, I'll be distracted by my children.

When I'm a grandmother, I'll be distracted by my grandchildren. and finding the perfect retirement home in Florida.

I'm glad you're encouraging singles to seek God, please don't get me wrong. Everyone in all walks of life need that encouragement and reminder. Distraction is a constant danger for us. I just get a little uncomfortable when people make it a special issue for singles.

What I don't understand is where all this reported pressure is coming from for singles to be in a relationship. You guys must have some odd friends/family or encounter some odd people or something. When I've was single, I was always praised for it and given encouragement. Not in such a way that people didn't WANT me to get a partner, just praise for being so independent and smart about dating, and encouragement that I can be happy alone and it's good to be single.

I honestly think I am my biggest pressure to find someone and get married. Its just a desire I happen to have. I do get the odd comment here and there from people who expect me to be dating, but my closest friends and family have never pressured me.

 

[.Nevermore.]

I just get a little uncomfortable when people make it a special issue for singles.

I think the reason we point it out for singles mostly is because it gives singles something to take their mind off of the couples they see around them. I mean, I don't see the point to have a desire to be in a relationship. My view is that when God thinks I'm ready, then I'll be ready.

 

[.Nevermore.]

Check your reps.

I can see what you mean with the cultural thing. It would be pretty frustrating.