Why doesn't God heal me

[little1]

i love the Lord so much. He's my everything. My favourite part of the week is Sunday worship.
I see people being healed and give wonderful testimonies of how God fixed them.
I've been tormented by emotional pain for the last 5 years. Life is unspeakably difficult for me. I am a young married adult who grew up with dreams of missions and ministry. I wanted to live a life for that would glorify Jesus and help Gods little ones.
Although life is mostly pain I have a lot to be greatful for.
How can I come to terms with the fact that Jesus has not healed me. I have a self harm addiction and have massive scaring.
I am always treated as though I'm not committed to God. Like if I prayed enough or fasted enough, served enough then I would not have the sin issue of self harm because I would go to God. I don't do it all the time but

I know for a fact the more hours I spend in prayer the worse my situation becomes.
I sometimes don't remember harming myself.
I'm ashamed because I look like a bad christian. But I'm actually in love with God. I read the word I enjoy his presence but I never go anywhere in the church because I manafest bad habits and poor decisions.

Why hasn't God healed me?
The word of God says we are a new creation. Then why do I struggle with suicidal thoughts everyday?

 

[geiroffenberg]

there are two parts in you, the carnal mind and the spiritual mind, all the pains resides in and because of the carnal mind. Repentance is the mind change, the going from carnal mind to spiritual mind, this is the onyl way ever described on how to enter the kingdom of heaven which is how everyone gets healed gy God, there is no other way in scripture.

emotional pain, instead of resisting it, use them as a springboard to practice metanoia repentance, and notice to which degree the pain is releaved and how.

If you dont knwo how to practice metanoia repentance, then find that out over any other thing, this is the "one thing nessesary"

 

[A Freeman]

i love the Lord so much. He's my everything. My favourite part of the week is Sunday worship.
I see people being healed and give wonderful testimonies of how God fixed them.
I've been tormented by emotional pain for the last 5 years. Life is unspeakably difficult for me. I am a young married adult who grew up with dreams of missions and ministry. I wanted to live a life for that would glorify Jesus and help Gods little ones.
Although life is mostly pain I have a lot to be greatful for.
How can I come to terms with the fact that Jesus has not healed me. I have a self harm addiction and have massive scaring.
I am always treated as though I'm not committed to God. Like if I prayed enough or fasted enough, served enough then I would not have the sin issue of self harm because I would go to God. I don't do it all the time but

I know for a fact the more hours I spend in prayer the worse my situation becomes.
I sometimes don't remember harming myself.
I'm ashamed because I look like a bad christian. But I'm actually in love with God. I read the word I enjoy his presence but I never go anywhere in the church because I manafest bad habits and poor decisions.

Why hasn't God healed me?
The word of God says we are a new creation. Then why do I struggle with suicidal thoughts everyday?

Within The Law that God gave us is the perfect healthy diet. Have you considered that please?

There is a false teaching that Christ did away with The Law, when in fact Christ said we should never think that and told us to rest assured that heaven and earth would pass before the National Moral Law changed in even the slightest way. Please see for yourself:-

Matthew 5:17-20
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy The Law, or the Prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no way pass from The Law, till all be fulfilled.
5:19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least COMMANDments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the Kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach [them], the same shall be called great in the Kingdom of heaven.
5:20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall EXCEED [the righteousness] of the lawyers and politicians, ye shall in no case enter into the Kingdom of heaven.

Many Christians fail to see the beauty and perfection contained within The Law and thus miss out on its curative powers. Hopefully this will bring you the health and healing you've been seeking.

Peace be upon you.

Healing in His Wings

Malachi 4:2-5
4:2 But unto you that fear My name shall the Sun of Righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.
4:3 And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in The Day that I shall do [this], saith the "I AM" Lord of hosts.
4:4 Remember ye and return to The Law of Moses My servant, which I commanded unto him in Horeb for all Israel, [with] the Statutes and Judgments.
4:5 Behold, I will send you EliJAH the Prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful Day of the "I AM"

 

[Another Lazarus]

Why hasn't God healed me?
The word of God says we are a new creation. Then why do I struggle with suicidal thoughts everyday?

Did you rcv the Holy Spirit baptism, the same Holy Spirit of Pentecost poured to the early church 2000 years ago and then they speak in tongues.


May Jesus bless you all HalleluYAH

 

[Another Lazarus]

I've been tormented by emotional pain for the last 5 years. Life is unspeakably difficult for me.

What if God wants to use us as the poor Lazarus to test the heart of the Richs ??? Shall we sacrifice ourselves ???


May Jesus bless you all HalleluYAH

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Did you rcv the Holy Spirit baptism, the same Holy Spirit of Pentecost poured to the early church 2000 years ago and then they speak in tongues.


May Jesus bless you all HalleluYAH

Right. That breaks off so many chains and heals more than anything.

 

[Tolworth John]

I am sorry to read of your pain and of your troubles.
Can I ask, are you recieving treatment for your self harming and your emotional pain?

God has blessed us with the intellect to discover cures for many ills and it is not showing a lack of faith to take medical help.
If your church is not supporting you in your troubles, encouraging you to see a doctor, praying with you and councelling you, but blame you I would seriously seek to find a church where they care for those who are hurting.

Please seek medical help and also seek spiritual help from those mature enough not to blame you for your problems.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Please seek medical help and also seek spiritual help from those mature enough not to blame you for your problems.

I can't stress this enough. You aren't weak OP because you cut, you've just been strong too long, you can express yourself here if you choose to do so.

 

[little1]

Hey thank you everyone for good encouragement and info.

I am baptised in the Holy Spirit and pray in Toungs daily.
In one way the pain has made my relationship with Jesus far deeper and closer. He's all I got and I continually need him. For comfort for strength for hope. Gosh even to be there when I mess up.

I grew up Christian. My first memories are of spirit filled prayer meetings and love. I've been to bible college and I do love the lord. I am determined to setup cutting and not let the enemy win.
But

I just really struggle in church with all the testimonies. Then I think well I'm jealous or manafesting something.
It leads to more condemnation and then self hate then well you know..

I struggle with the teaching that we have to press in for the breakthrough. I know in the bible people did and they did wrestle and fast and well
But isn't healing a free gift? Isn't it already ackumplished by Jesus?

My church is wonderful I could not fault them. They are understanding gracious and basically treat me with grace. But there are things that someone like me who struggles with mental illness will never be able to do. Before I had a breakdown I spent many years in ministry missions overseas having fun praying for people helping people.
But now I don't think people really want me laying hands on people or bringing a word. I'm not aloud on outreach because I'm a danger to myself etc.
I feel like my life is over
I ruined it
It's over
My only comfort in life is to know it will all be over soon

I'm sorry for the self pity
I hurt cause I can see why I can't be in ministry anymore I understand and that's what hurts too.

I wish Jesus would heal me. I know he can
I have to surrender my desires and my dreams for life because it would appear God has something different.

I have received lots of professional help. Psychology does not have many answers when it comes to trauma.
Medication has saved my life and I do thank Jesus I live in a time where I have access to emotional pain reliefe. I would of ended it years ago if I didn't have that mercy.

Thank you for replying to me
I've read them over and over
It gives me hope to know I'm not totally alone

 

[little1]

I am sorry to read of your pain and of your troubles.
Can I ask, are you recieving treatment for your self harming and your emotional pain?

God has blessed us with the intellect to discover cures for many ills and it is not showing a lack of faith to take medical help.
If your church is not supporting you in your troubles, encouraging you to see a doctor, praying with you and councelling you, but blame you I would seriously seek to find a church where they care for those who are hurting.

Please seek medical help and also seek spiritual help from those mature enough not to blame you for your problems.

I am going to a new psychologist in two weeks. Talking has never helped me because I genuinely forget the times I feel emotional pain but I'm getting more in touch now with it. There is a lot of pain .. a lot of pain from the church in general that I need to acknowledge

It's from many years ago

As a Christian I didn't want to blame anyone so I just didn't talk

You don't want to talk about leaders so u just don't talk
I want to be good and holy so I didn't talk

But it's led to I problem


I will try and share this time confidentially with the psych and that can't be sinful right?

 

[little1]

I have a problem with scrooples. My mind knows it's bad but my heart keeps making me condem myself and paranoid about sin.

But in my trying not to sin I have made a bigger sin (self harm) oh lord help me

Do I sound religious or bad
I am sorry I know legalism is bad

You see it's starting now ... that's my brain
It condemns
It analyses
It obsesses

But I DO KNOW THAT I AM A LITTLE CHILD OF GOD
and romans 8 says I am not condemned
Because we r in Jesus

 

[Honoluluwindow]

i love the Lord so much. He's my everything. My favourite part of the week is Sunday worship.
I see people being healed and give wonderful testimonies of how God fixed them.
I've been tormented by emotional pain for the last 5 years. Life is unspeakably difficult for me. I am a young married adult who grew up with dreams of missions and ministry. I wanted to live a life for that would glorify Jesus and help Gods little ones.
Although life is mostly pain I have a lot to be greatful for.
How can I come to terms with the fact that Jesus has not healed me. I have a self harm addiction and have massive scaring.
I am always treated as though I'm not committed to God. Like if I prayed enough or fasted enough, served enough then I would not have the sin issue of self harm because I would go to God. I don't do it all the time but

I know for a fact the more hours I spend in prayer the worse my situation becomes.
I sometimes don't remember harming myself.
I'm ashamed because I look like a bad christian. But I'm actually in love with God. I read the word I enjoy his presence but I never go anywhere in the church because I manafest bad habits and poor decisions.

Why hasn't God healed me?
The word of God says we are a new creation. Then why do I struggle with suicidal thoughts everyday?

If you died today and God asked you: why should you go to heaven? What would you say?

 

[little1]

"Jesus"

 

[little1]

If you died today and God asked you: why should you go to heaven? What would you say?

I would say because you want me to be with you. That's why you sent your son Jesus. To make away for me to be with you forever.

Is that right?

 

[Honoluluwindow]

Did you know that salvation is absolutely free? and that we do not have to do anything to get saved? Well what do the Scriptures teach? Lets see.

Well, John 3:16 is the most famous verse ever quoted in the world but I want you to see and hear what Jesus said just two verses earlier in verse 14 Jesus is pointing to a historical event to make a point about God's love.

And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up; (John 3:14 ASV)

The event happened when God led the Jews out from Egypt. As was their habit the people grumbled and sinned while out in the wilderness on their way to the promised land. God responds by judging and disciplining them and on this occasion God sent serpents into their midst:

And Jehovah sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died. (Numbers 21:6 ASV)

The people of Israel then do their normal thing - they ask Moses to pray for them for forgiveness from The Lord. Moses prays and God forgives them:

And the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, because we have spoken against Jehovah, and against thee; pray unto Jehovah, that he take away the serpents from us. And Moses prayed for the people. (Numbers 21:7 ASV)

God forgives the people but on one condition: Moses is to hold the serpent up for the congregation to gaze upon.

Then the Lord said to Moses, "Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a standard; and it shall come about, that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, he will live." (Numbers 21:8 NASB)

It was not how guilty they felt or how long they stared at it in the heat of the desert sun, it was simply the look of faith.

And Moses made a bronze serpent and set it on the standard; and it came about, that if a serpent bit any man, when he looked to the bronze serpent, he lived. (Numbers 21:9 NASB)

If they were hard hearted and stiff necked they died in their sins.

Let's continue on now with Jesus's words:

so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:15, 16 NASB)

God has lifted up our object of faith, Jesus the Messiah on a cross. We are to humble ourselves, coming to the realization that personal righteousness and holiness is outside of our capabilities, and look to our God and Father who said:

so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. (John 3:15, 17 NASB)

If we refuse to believe that salvation is by grace alone thru faith alone in Messiah alone plus nothing then we are not really believing on Him that was sent and are under the following judgement:

so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. (John 3:15, 18 NASB)

If we have not understood the teaching the bible clearly states concerning the content of faith for salvation then we have accepted the ideas of other religion's teachings concerning not only these simple words of Christ but all of the other passages of scripture concerning God's free offer of imputed righteousness.

Our God did not merely forgive any of us because He is big-hearted enough to forgive us. He redeemed our lives by paying for us, by satisfying the wrath of God against sin. Our God and Father purchased our forgiveness thru the blood of Messiah.

The word of God claims that if you have believed this good news, that you have eternal life. And that your life is now required of you to become a servant of righteousness. Not your own righteousness but that of Jesus. It is in His name that we can freely make our petitions known to God, in Jesus' righteousness we pray (not in ours). And as we petition God in this way, our minds and hearts will grow nearer to God's mind and heart for us, so that we can become the beings we were created to become.

It is our life's goal that the message of the bible be known to all.

 

[little1]

With respect Honolu,
I can see you are very wise and know God well BUT may I use u to high light an issue I have with "the church"
Remembering I mean no disrespect and am greatful for you trying to speak life and encourage
Maybe u can help more by hearing my point hear
Ok

Our convo above

I feel terribly patronised.

You asked me a question which seemed odd but I thought there might have been a point so I honestly and vulnerably answered you.

You then with out even acknowledging my answer as if to state it was not enough or couldn't be correct enough go on to preach to me all this beautiful stuff from the word of God.
Does it surprise u at all to know, I know.
?
I am seriously asking I am not being mean. ?
Because I strike this a lot in church. People don't have normal conversations they simply state one up words from the bible and knowledge as if no one has heard that.
Now that's ok your gifting could be teaching

I want to check with you something. Do you think because I struggle with sin such as self harm and suicide that I don't know what you are saying?
In answering your question which I hope was not latorical Yes I know.
I struggle with scrooples but I know all about grace.
I know salvation is free.
I know all the scriptures u are quoting and still I black out and cut my arms. I know grace I really do but why am I so tormented by law?


I asked why hasn't the Lord healed me? Are you implying if I knew this info or prayed enough that my mind would be transformed to the word of God and I would be healed?
Are you implying if I understand grace enough that I would be healed?

Now my apologies if this is too confrontational it's not my intention. Remember I have issues and I'm trying to understand

I am trying
And I am a person
Like you are

 

[little1]

I'm only asking the question about understanding grace because for someone like me who is damaged and a little intellectually slow at times I see that as works.
I have to do something to be healed. Even if it's understanding grace it's still there.
Are you saying that?

I'm trying to point out hear that mental health issues can look a lot like a new Christian who doesn't understand anything. but I'm not
I know Jesus I know him I love him he's my everything
I manafest sin and filth so it looks like I don't believe or love him BUT IM CRYING writing this I love him so tenderly and he loves me

 

[little1]

It it's like no one will know until heaven.
I'll never be aloud to go on outreach
People will never think anything of me
I'm nothing hear in earth
Especially ESPECIALLY in Christian circles.
Only God knows

It's so hard
He's all that is ment to matter I know.
buy I confess I feel hurt that I can't progress in Christianity in the church

Maybe secretly with Jesus I can but never will anyone know it hurts

What's wrong with me
I'm sorry I'm a mess I'm sorry if I hurt you
Please forgive me

 

[Tina W]

Only thing I can say is pray until He heals you. Pray for Him to help guide the psychiatrist in the right method to help you. Pray for the freedom from self harm. Maybe focus on each thing individually and work on them one at a time and pray about them one at a time instead of grouping it all into one big problem. Self harm is one problem, scrupilosity is one problem, depression and suicidal thoughts are one problem. Pray and focus on and work at stopping the self harm first and foremost. I think suicidal thoughts are connected to that because suicide is self harm unto death. Pray for healing from that first and foremost. Every time you have the urge to self harm, pray or read the Bible anything to take your focus off of it. Every morning wake up and confess that you will not self harm today and take it day by day. Focus on getting through the day without self harming and if you do, reward yourself with something.

 

[Honoluluwindow]

It doesn't sound like you believe God loves you.