Why does she yell so much?

[TylerJackson]

Hi all.

I am at the end of my rope right now. I don't know what to do anymore. I have tired all that i know to try and can't seem to get anywhere. You may be my last hope before I call it, ministry, quits.

My wife and I have been married for 12 years. Throughout that time, she has been very destructive. It seems that in all that I do, she stands against. If I go one way, she is dead set on going another. It is as if she is set on destroying either me or the work we are doing.

Let me give you an example, in public settings or functions of the church, she'll make comments directed at me to try and make me look like a bad man. She says it with hate in her tone, and the people around know it. She knows exactly what she is doing to, we have had conversations about it with me asking her not to do those things in public and talk about them at home. If she thinks it, she states it and does not care what people think.

I am now thinking of resigning, and not being part of a ministry that I was called to at all.

 

[Sophia7]

Do you think she is intentionally trying to ruin your ministry by doing these things, or does she just not think before she speaks?

That sounds like a very tough situation. I'll keep you in my prayers. Whatever happens, though, if you believe that God has called you to the ministry, don't quit. He will give you the strength to deal with whatever obstacles come your way. He can soften your wife's heart and rebuild your marriage, too.

 

[erin74]

Have you considered seeing a marriage counsellor.

Have you asked her if she has a problem with your ministry?

We all know what a demanding job ministry is, and it's easy for family to take second place to the congregation. I'm so just guessing, but is it possible that this could be a problem, causing her to be bitter about your ministry?

 

[DIVA_for_Christ]

Hi all.

I am at the end of my rope right now. I don't know what to do anymore. I have tired all that i know to try and can't seem to get anywhere. You may be my last hope before I call it, ministry, quits.

My wife and I have been married for 12 years. Throughout that time, she has been very destructive. It seems that in all that I do, she stands against. If I go one way, she is dead set on going another. It is as if she is set on destroying either me or the work we are doing.

Let me give you an example, in public settings or functions of the church, she'll make comments directed at me to try and make me look like a bad man. She says it with hate in her tone, and the people around know it. She knows exactly what she is doing to, we have had conversations about it with me asking her not to do those things in public and talk about them at home. If she thinks it, she states it and does not care what people think.

I am now thinking of resigning, and not being part of a ministry that I was called to at all.

Hi TylerJackson

I pray that you are renewing your strength in the Lord. I'm not married so I will not pretend to be something I'm not. All I can do is throw some thoughts out there as a woman. It sounds like your wife has a lot of hidden, deep and suppressed hurts, anger and frustration. Has she opened up to you and let you into that dark part that only the man sent from God will be able to see to restore?

Another thought, when she talks, do you listen. I don't mean hear, I mean really listen. Do you allow her to help you. Remember a wife was designed to be a help meet so if she is trying to help you, yet you don't let her help, she will get frustrated.

Please don't feel that I'm picking on you because I'm not. I want your marriage and ministry to be the success that God has called it to be.

In June I went to a conference called Teach Me How To Love You in Atlanta, GA. It was an awesome move of God. There were so many couples on the verge of divorce there that God restored their marriage instantly. Then there were other marriages like yours were the husband and wife were butting heads. They have already scheduled next years conference and you and your wife need to go. Go to www.bishopweeks.com $20 will hold your seat. You can see a clip from this years conference when you click on the link.

Also, whatever you do, never stop what God is telling you to do. Press through!!!

God Bless!!!

 

[Bekie]

You feel she uses damaging words against you. Perhaps, a little idea I had is you could now do the opposite on her. Since she is spreading bad speech regarding you, and as much as it may be hard for you to reply in kind, try very hard to spread good stuff about her. Say positive things about her in public, also say compliments and good things to her privately too. In a way, by doing this, you would be blessing her with good words. Maybe after a couple of weeks of her hearing a little bit of good things each day, you may slowly see good results happen. She'll see that you honor her with your good words you say about her, instead of the way she uses bad words about you. Then, maybe it will rub off on her and she'll start speaking more good than bad. Of course this is just a little action, but you also need to get to the underlying reasons to why she's so spiteful against you in the way she is sharing negative comments for others to also hear.
I don't know, its all I can think up of for now. I could be wrong, its just one idea, but it may or may not apply to you.

 

[Ms.Garnet]

Hi Tyler ! I hope you are still on board/with us. I haven't popped in for several days & am sorry for your delima. I could ask a million questions - but , I will just ask 1 or 2 and make a comment. Were you in ministry when you married her? Does she have a specific job in the church or is she expected to be a "jack of all preacher trades?" Perhaps she is exhausted & sick & tired of having to do so much "church work" or it could be the other way around - she may not feel any sense of fulfillment or recognition. If you are a well liked pastor & everyone shows it - she may resent you being in the lime light so much - jealous in other words. Does she say these things at home or is home totally different? There has to be a reason she resents you/your ministry & it must be pretty strong if she trys to put you down in public.

 

[Jesus Is Real]

Hi all.

I am at the end of my rope right now. I don't know what to do anymore. I have tired all that i know to try and can't seem to get anywhere. You may be my last hope before I call it, ministry, quits.

My wife and I have been married for 12 years. Throughout that time, she has been very destructive. It seems that in all that I do, she stands against. If I go one way, she is dead set on going another. It is as if she is set on destroying either me or the work we are doing.

Let me give you an example, in public settings or functions of the church, she'll make comments directed at me to try and make me look like a bad man. She says it with hate in her tone, and the people around know it. She knows exactly what she is doing to, we have had conversations about it with me asking her not to do those things in public and talk about them at home. If she thinks it, she states it and does not care what people think.

I am now thinking of resigning, and not being part of a ministry that I was called to at all.

TylerJackson,

It seems like she wants to be Lord.

Don't resign, just die. In other words:

When Jesus came, he knew this of us. The only thing we can do is what Jesus did for us: We lay down our life for them. The Cross in our life is the only thing that will give others life.

We must die to our flesh that's rising up so that others might see Jesus - might see the light. But when our flesh even our frustrations is seen by others which is darkness so that doesn't give them light only our death to our flesh, little by little, will allow His Light to shine through.

It seems that the others in church can hear her anger and rage, which is of the Satanic Flesh Nature, so ask God if you can speak to those people who hear her mouth where you all can form a Prayer-Team for her. Where God can then show you how to "Equip this saint" to stand as the Help-Mate God wants her to be.

Don't let flesh nor the demon run you from what God has called you to do!
STAND!!!

pm me if you want!~

 

[BarbaraJean]

You will never be happy if you are not doing what God has called you to do.

Therefore, you are going to have to make this work.

I would certainly suggest good marriage counseling. Perhaps you could confide in another ministry couple that you respect. My denomination actually has a support system for ministers. You may check to see if there is something available for you.

Some things you can do in the mean time:

Begin publicly expressing your appreciation for the things your wife does to help you.

Tell her personally when she does something that is helpful.

Read some books on marriage relationships. Work on your relationship at home so that she respects you in earnest and doesn't have to pretend that she does. I recommend His Needs, Her Needs and The Five Love Languages.

 

[Deborah6763]

Get wise counsel from trusted advisors who can see the situation first hand.

hang in there!

Blessings to you!

 

[nb37]

Everyone has such great advice please take them to heart and whatever happens, if God called you to the ministry DO NOT LEAVE. God bless and I am praying.