You are from the Philippines. I randomly become friends with you on Facebook in 2010. I have never met you in person. You start reading what I write on Facebook. You are too shy to tell me that you like me until I randomly give you a compliment two or so weeks ago. We then start chatting & somehow we start talking about marriage. I tell you that maybe someday I will propose, that is if I someday pick you. You were raised Roman Catholic. I was raised Baptist. You say you are ok that I'm Baptist. Yet, do you have hidden agendas? Are you just using me to get you & your seven year old son into the United States? You say you want to care for me & want to go wherever I go as missionaries. I believe that I'm really good at reading people, but what if I'm not as good as I think I am? What if you're really evil & that I'm just to blind to see that?
Are you using a high school photo or some other photo? Are you the kid in the picture?
Is the lady divorced? A divorce doesn't make someone fair game.
I Corinthians 7
10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Just to take the emotion out of the equation, why would you want to marry a woman with a seven-year-old (especially if that picture of yours is recent.) I can see a man who is a bit older with some kids of his own marrying a woman like that. Just from a 'market' perspective, if you are single and have no kids, you just may have the 'capital' to get an unmarried woman without kids who isn't especially looking for someone to get a visa for her to come to the US. There are even virgins in the 20's still left in Asia. I'm not saying it's wrong to marry a woman with a child-- but someone you know through Facebook? It seems like a negative though, for a young guy (making a huge, possibly unjustified assumption here based on what could be an outdated picture) who might not have experience with kids to take on that kind of responsibility with someone he hasn't met in real life.
My wife is Asian. There are lots of pluses to marrying an Asian woman with traditional values. But when I went abroad, I found out that there were a lot of girls who were looking for a white man. White men are assumed to be rich-- maybe because someone out of college here gets 40 grand for a job someone in some of these countries might make 2 or 3 grand for in a year. In this particular country, it was kind of high status to marry a white man, too, because of the effects of colonization I suppose, and also since TV stars did it and some of the popular TV stars were mixed race with Caucasian. So I went over there, and while Asian women are supposed to be shy, they are a little more clear about letting you know they like you (or I was just considered better looking there). Sometimes they do this in a junior highish way. After living there a while and looking for a godly woman, women who were a bit too aggressive about their interest in me turned me off. There was too much of an opportunity for motives I wasn't looking for-- the desire to marry a 'rich' white man, the desire for social status, or whatever. I didn't detect all that with my wife, though apparently she was attracted to Caucasians (not exclusively, though.) She was a godly woman, and after much prayer, we determined it was God's will (or it took me a lot of prayer at least.)
Women from my wife's country typically have been taught from their religion or society in general that wives are supposed to be diligent around the home, want to raise children, submit to their husbands, be faithful, and a lot of other good things that aren't taught so much in the United States. Women in the Philippines, though, think that the husband goes and earns the salary and gives her the paycheck to manage. So watch out with expectations if you marry someone from another country and talk these things out. I didn't find out until after marriage that in my wife's culture, the husband's money is 'our money' and the wife's money is 'my money.' Some wives are like that here, but it is more deeply ingrained in the culture there. She's a stay at home mom, so it doesn't matter, and we seem to be on the same page about it, now.
Also, your expectations in terms of giving money to in-laws and different relatives may be much different. Fortunately, a dollar goes a really long way in some of these countries. You might also be expected to cut up meat if you go to an in-laws family reunion, though they may cut you some slack for being foreign or just not tell you what you are supposed to do culturally. There are lots of little things to learn to fit in.
If you want to marry a woman from Asia, I wouldn't say online dating is wrong. I would be wary of a woman with a kid who wants a visa Facebooking me. You don't know how many other people she facebooks. Does she ever right on your wall? Check her friends out. See how many white men she has as friends. Friend a few of them, and if she writes stuff on your wall, compare it to what she writes on their's. Does she have any other Facebook boyfriends? Will she marry the first one that asks?
If you want to date an Asian girl through the Internet, maybe Friendster would work to meet someone, but you need to find a Christian who would be on the same page with you, and Friendster would be like Facebook in that regard. Friendster was popular in Asia when I was there. Am I right in interpreting you as saying you want to be a missionary. If that is the case, you need to be very, very, very picky about who you choose. You need someone with a missionary zeal to be your helpmeet, so she can really help you in your ministry and not hinder you. Wesley's wife was a thorn in his side. I think William Carey's first wife may have been before he was widowed. There is no need to marry a difficult woman unless the Lord tells you to like Hosea.
It makes more sense, IMO, to actually go to Asia and spend some time with your prospective bride if you go that route--before you start seriously talking about marriage. I do know three or four women from my wife's country who met their spouses through the Internet. I even gave the idea to one of them. She was from my wife's people group, and had an attractive face and build I thought, but was about 40, I think, and unwed. I said there were dating sites on the Internet. A year later she came to a party at my house when I lived overseas and told me that she took my advice and met a man through the Internet. They dated through web cam meetings. She'd go to an Internet cafe. I think he may have come over before they got engaged, but he may have just come over for the engagement. Three or four girls who knew each other did the same thing. At least two of them ended up in Virginia. These girls were looking for husbands, and I guess they liked white men. They weren't just gold diggers looking for a visa as far as I can tell. They weren't poor mail order brides. They seemed to be doing reasonably well.
If you don't feel like you have to marry an Asian woman, there are western women who hold to Biblical values you can marry, too. If you want to be a missionary to a particular country, you might go there and see if you meet someone. In the country I went to, it sure seems a lot easier to get hitched than here. The culture is very marriage oriented. Whatever you do, pray about it a lot. Study the Bible and get some criteria for the type of woman you want to marry in your mind. Work on becoming an ideal godly husband, a hard working loving leader, etc. Tim Conway's study on a how to find a godly wife is available on YouTube.
