Why do people do this?

[quatona]

Slightly different from the original. I think what you're picturing is, Bob does something that annoys Alice, and when Alice tells him it annoys her, he does it even more. (Boy, my first husband sure would.)

But what I had Alice saying in the OP is, when *people* do such-and-such, it annoys her. Bob isn't already doing it, but once she makes the casual observation that she finds it annoying, he immediately starts doing it, for the specific purpose of getting under her skin.

That would be like me mentioning (in a conversation that's already underway on the subject of things that we don't like) that I hate to be tickled, and right away someone jumps on me and starts tickling me. The more I protest and struggle against it, the more they laugh.

I'm wondering what makes a person deliberately want to annoy someone else.

Well, I tried to give a possible explanation. I can think of others. People (from early on) learn very strange strategies of trying to have their needs fulfilled.

Although I am afraid that once you have determined to know the intention/purpose/motives of the person ("deliberately want to annoy", "for the specific purpose of...") there isn´t much left to explain.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Well, I tried to give a possible explanation. I can think of others. People (from early on) learn very strange strategies of trying to have their needs fulfilled.

Although I am afraid that once you have determined to know the intention/purpose/motives of the person ("deliberately want to annoy", "for the specific purpose of...") there isn´t much left to explain.

I suppose my assumption, in the original scenario, is that Bob is deliberately annoying Alice. Some people do deliberately annoy. They think it's funny to get somebody else's goat. What I would like to know is why.

 

[Deidre32]

I'd say bye to Bob. lol There are a lot of good people in the world, but sadly...also a lot of 'Bob's.'

 

[JaapAap]

I suppose my assumption, in the original scenario, is that Bob is deliberately annoying Alice. Some people do deliberately annoy. They think it's funny to get somebody else's goat. What I would like to know is why.

Any time my kids deliberately annoy it is because they want attention.
I saw it also with a teen. He would just pluck his mom's hair, my, he was annoying. It was just to show her he missed her or something. Negative attention is better than no attention.
Also if my oldest son wants to be left alone for a while or acts bossy the younger two are gonna deliberately nag him. He has gone angry because his little brother was soooo annoying. I explain to him that he just wants his attention and that he does it because he likes him. If he then plays with him it's over.

 

[quatona]

I suppose my assumption, in the original scenario, is that Bob is deliberately annoying Alice. Some people do deliberately annoy. They think it's funny to get somebody else's goat. What I would like to know is why.

Good luck, then.

 

[Crowns&Laurels]

Can anyone explain the human nature that causes this? Alice makes a statement, "Boy, when people do X, it really annoys me!" Bob hears Alice say that, immediately starts doing as much X as possible, and the more it annoys Alice, the funnier Bob thinks it is. There are an awful lot of Bobs in the world. I've read that people are hard-wired to be rebellious when told what to do, and will immediately have the urge to do the opposite. How did that get to be part of the human condition?

I think there's more to it than simply 'rebellion'.
For example, if Alice and Bob are children, then it's likely that Bob just has a crush on Alice.

 

[AHH who-stole-my-name]

It's called pushing peoples buttons and is pretty much done out of the desire to control people.I don't think the jerk is laughing because of what his target is doing. It's more about him being him having the power to turn someone into his own personal puppet.

This is what Evil is all about.

 

[SkyWriting]

Can anyone explain the human nature that causes this? Alice makes a statement, "Boy, when people do X, it really annoys me!" Bob hears Alice say that, immediately starts doing as much X as possible, and the more it annoys Alice, the funnier Bob thinks it is. There are an awful lot of Bobs in the world. I've read that people are hard-wired to be rebellious when told what to do, and will immediately have the urge to do the opposite. How did that get to be part of the human condition?Just curious.

People like to help.
If you admit you have a psychological tick that prevents you
from functioning normally. people want to help you deal
with your hangup by exposing you to more of it.
People care.

The opposite would be ignoring what you said.

 

[AHH who-stole-my-name]

People like to help.
If you admit you have a psychological tick that prevents you
from functioning normally. people want to help you deal
with your hangup by exposing you to more of it.
People care.

The opposite would be ignoring what you said.

Um, I think you read that wrong!

 

[JaapAap]

I think there's more to it than simply 'rebellion'.
For example, if Alice and Bob are children, then it's likely that Bob just has a crush on Alice.

Yes we have a saying: teasing girls is asking for kisses.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

People like to help.
If you admit you have a psychological tick that prevents you
from functioning normally. people want to help you deal
with your hangup by exposing you to more of it.
People care.

The opposite would be ignoring what you said.

So..... simply being annoyed by something is a psychological hangup, it's not normal, and its existence makes it open season to bully others?

 

[SkyWriting]

So..... simply being annoyed by something is a psychological hangup, it's not normal, and its existence makes it open season to bully others?

They need to fix themselves. One should bully themselves first
and get over their hangup. Admitting they are not well adjusted
is a call for help we should take note of.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

They need to fix themselves. One should bully themselves first
and get over their hangup. Admitting they are not well adjusted
is a call for help we should take note of.

How is simply finding something annoying not being well adjusted?

 

[SkyWriting]

How is simply finding something annoying not being well adjusted?

Maybe looking at antonyms will help:

• helpful
• agreeable

• pleasant
• pleasing

• soothing
• welcome

Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edit

 

[bhsmte]

Can anyone explain the human nature that causes this? Alice makes a statement, "Boy, when people do X, it really annoys me!" Bob hears Alice say that, immediately starts doing as much X as possible, and the more it annoys Alice, the funnier Bob thinks it is. There are an awful lot of Bobs in the world. I've read that people are hard-wired to be rebellious when told what to do, and will immediately have the urge to do the opposite. How did that get to be part of the human condition?

Just curious.

As a general rule, people don't like being told what they can or can not do. People who have a psychological need to be in control, like it even less.

 

[PapaZoom]

Can anyone explain the human nature that causes this? Alice makes a statement, "Boy, when people do X, it really annoys me!" Bob hears Alice say that, immediately starts doing as much X as possible, and the more it annoys Alice, the funnier Bob thinks it is. There are an awful lot of Bobs in the world. I've read that people are hard-wired to be rebellious when told what to do, and will immediately have the urge to do the opposite. How did that get to be part of the human condition?

Just curious.

It depends on what X is. With a specific example (or a few) there will likely be different answers. In some situations of X, Bob may just being rude. In other situations of X, Alice may need to lighten up. If someone (like Alice) complains about some trivial thing and I hear it, poor Alice is likely to hear from me a few times as I annoy her into submission. But if Alice's complaint is legitimate, the Bob in me will be suppressed. How about some examples of X?

 

[God's Child]

Admin Hat On
This thread is being closed at OP's request.
Admin Hat Off