"Why do I want to be around people who scare me?"

[Heartofsilver]

Hello everyone,

This is what my therapist asked me at my last session. I told her that the reason why I still try to see my abusive family is because they are my family and I love them, so I still try to see them from time to time. Though, I usually try to bring someone with me when I actually see them. She then told me that it didn't matter that they were my family members or not and she is still waiting on an answer from me.

I'm honestly still not sure what else to tell her.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Hello everyone,

This is what my therapist asked me at my last session. I told her that the reason why I still try to see my abusive family is because they are my family and I love them, so I still try to see them from time to time. Though, I usually try to bring someone with me when I actually see them. She then told me that it didn't matter that they were my family members or not and she is still waiting on an answer from me.

I'm honestly still not sure what else to tell her.

It's ok to put distance between yourself, and people who scare you.

We're not supposed to emotionally tormet ourselves in order to show love. We can love people by praying for them, too.

 

[Orchardllc]

Family ties create an automatic sense of obligation. Especially for the Christian. We are called to both love and respect our parents specifically in God's word.

We're not supposed to emotionally tormet ourselves in order to show love. We can love people by praying for them, too.

This is also true! The essence of Jesus' commandments is to love. It is right and true to love others, forgive them, without forgetting our own safety.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Family ties create an automatic sense of obligation. Especially for the Christian. We are called to both love and respect our parents specifically in God's word.


This is also true! The essence of Jesus' commandments is to love. It is right and true to love others, forgive them, without forgetting our own safety.

This can be tricky ground for a Christian. We want to love and forgive, but in some situations, where there has been abuse, or where we might be in danger, setting limits on how much contact and in what contexts we have contact, is wise.

 

[Mea_kākau]

I had two different therapists encourage me to distance myself from my family of origin. Both therapists were Christians as well. My family wasn't safe to be around, especially my mother and oldest brother who were narcissists and cruel. I kept my distance and prayed for them.

 

[ChicanaRose]

Hello everyone,

Though, I usually try to bring someone with me when I actually see them.

She then told me that it didn't matter that they were my family members or not and she is still waiting on an answer from me.

I think it's wise that you bring someone with you. But your therapist is right, you don't need to go see them in your situation. I just hope she's not rushing you for answer because you obviously need time to reflect and process things like this, all the while you ensure your own safety.