Why do I not fit in with many other Christians?

[timthecrusader]

Well, this is my first post, thanks in advance for any input!

Anyways, I am in college, and have been in LOTS of different churches throughout my life. For the last several years, no matter what church or bible study or campus group I go to, I just can't seem to have any relationships, with other Christians, with much depth or meaning.
When I am in a new Christian group, it goes well at first, but eventually I feel like I am eternally the 'new guy', while everyone else in the group are good friends with each other, and even people who are newer in the group can fit in better. I don’t spend a huge amount of time talking about serious things. But when I do try to talk about things going on in the world that I think are important, it sort of just goes over their heads, and they forget about it pretty quick. You can’t spend all the non-spiritual conversation talking about college stuff or the latest movie, and be close friends, you know? My church is also very small, with no one my age. I have a few good friends, but none of them even live in the same area as I do.

I wonder why I can’t seem to ever fit in. Is God doing this for some reason? Do I need to try harder? Am I just that different from 99% of the Christians in America? Or is it possibly something else?

 

[.Iona.]

I never seem to be able to fit in. I've also found that many Christians do not seem to want to take the time to get to know me - in real life or online. They prefer sticking with the "old crowd" so to speak.

 

[jehoiakim]

I don't think it is you, I think it is American Christianity. It has become so shallow and watered down, it has become materialistic, it has become about entertainment. There is little to know discipleship. For the most part I just think most of it is apostate or so lost in immaturity it is barely worth being a part of. Keep searching, you may also want to consider the house church movement or smaller churches

 

[timthecrusader]

Noelle, that is EXACTLY how it is! And jehoiakim, I'll keep searching, as I know God wants us to fellowship with other Christians. Thank you both!

 

[decent orange]

That is EXACTLY how it is!

I had the same issues. I was American Evangelical Protestant although 'non-denominational'.

I converted about 5 years ago, and started in a Church with mostly old people with a sprinkling of people in their mid 30's (I was 25). The people in their mid-thirties started having little arguments with the old people about music and other vain things. Old people wanted to sing the well known hymns from the late 1800's, the 30 somethings wanted to sing the modern Christian rock songs that are on the radio today.

Then after it got really bad and the old people started pushing people out, I went to another 'non-denominational' Church. This one was like a rock concert with flashing lights and electric guitars and people jumping up and down and having a party. It was neat, but I felt left out, as I am not that cool, so I had to find some place that I could fit in.

I went to many different Churches, but somehow ended up in an Orthodox Church. And I fit in even though I didn't think I would. The women there often wear head coverings, and they cross themselves and kneel down with their face to the ground. But despite the differences in the service that shocked me, the people were so deep and inspiring and humble. I found that they are where I fit, they take my mind off me and place it on them, but they replace the loss of my selfishness by giving me them, and this works out for me.

You just gotta find your people.

 

[Girder of Loins]

The fact that you like(and recognize the necessity of) talking about deep, serious topics makes me want to befriend you. And I think it is because you are different. You are radically different than the 99%, and be proud of it. Your love for the Lord just doesn't click with them. So I say be different! Be unique! Be a light!

 

[BeeWrangler]

It is easy to find non Christian friends who share the same interests, but when trying to find Christian friends your same age with the same interests you have can be very hard. There are not alot of true Christians (by true I mean people other than the ones who say they believe in God then go out Friday night to get drunk ect) and you narrow that down even more to ones your age, then narrow that down even more to true Christians your own age who enjoy the same things you do... it can be like finding a needle in a haystack. I don't think it is just you, I think alot of Christians have a hard time finding good friends living next door so to speak. Look at this forum for example, I imagine there are thousands of members here but I have yet to see one from my Province let alone a guy my age who shares the same interests as me, same sense of humor and is where I am spiritually (still learning and struggling).
BTW, I'm not saying give up on finding buddies you click with, I'm just saying it's not you or anything your doing wrong.

 

[stormdancer0]

Perhaps God was pushing you to find that Orthodox church? That's where he wants you to be.

You be yourself, and God will put you where He wants you.

 

[accurateknowledge]

God will not send you through trials or mislead you but I'm afraid the right way is a narrow path and few will enter. This is Satan's world so it wont be easy to find friends but never give up searching for trith