Why do I have to OCD about faith? ugh!

[foofur]

I have been suffering from OCD related issues since I returned to the LORD about 7 years ago. I went through a very long time where I dealt with thinking I committed the unpardonable. I had to go through long periods of counseling where I know I made my pastors tired. I have been on Paxil (before it was changed to time release better), Prozac, Celexa and Lexapro. I got tired of the side effects and went to a natural base, Amoryn (basically St. John's wort) and Clarocet. They help with depression but it doesn't help with OCD and intrusive thoughts.

1.) What medications are helping with intrusive thoughts and images?

I have read that there is a form of OCD that is labeled 'religious OCD'. I know that I have it. When I pray, junk just flies in my head that isn't relevant or related to what I am praying about. I keep hearing all of this junk about callings of the five fold ministries and I am not even thinking this stuff. I am also experiencing tons of junk when I pray and when I don't pray about the 'bad' things that are in the Word (like crucifixion, being tormented, etc) which I don't forsee is God's merciful plan for anyone. It makes me want to run away. Man, some of these images are vivid and powerfully scary.

2.) Anyone else experience this and how have you coped?

It is affecting my work life and home life. These thoughts are crazy though. One day, it is about losing your eye sight. The next day, it can be about being trapped or drowned. I do not believe that God's plan for anyone's life is to experience anything like this stuff. I keep fighting this stuff which as we all know only makes it worse. It amplifies it. On top of this, I get different sensations on my body. Whether it is spiritual or just a part of anxiety, I don't bother to investigate. But, my mind won't let this junk go. It lingers even when I quit focusing on it. I keep hearing thoughts that my heart won't falter which only amplifies it worse because then I worry what is going to hit me or happen. I want peace.

3.) Anyone else deal with this?

I need to get on some stronger medication. The 'natural stuff' but it isn't strong enough.

I miss being able to get into the Word and/or prayer and actually receiving something without fear, worry or some intrusive junk. I miss being able to enjoy the sweet prescence of Jesus instead of this other junk.

May God bless us all.

 

[Boxers1]

Foofur...I'm glad you found this forum....Tons of us with OCD can relate exactly to what you wrote below. Many of us have been through the unpardonable sin fear and still battle intrusive unwanted blasphemous thoughts...It seems that the definition for religious OCD is just that. One of things I can say from experience is that the things we are most fearful of thinking about are the things that keep bothering us and forcing themselves in our minds. The paradox is to "accept" the presence of the thoughts instead of fighting, but believing they are powerless and merely "thoughts". They can't hurt you or separate you from God. All they can do is scare you and fuel the anxiety. I have been right where you are. Anti-anxiety medication helps me the most and practicing the techniques of allowing the thoughts to pass through me , but working on devaluing them and not responding physically is a huge step. When we stop being afraid, the thoughts start to die down.
There are many on this forum who will support you.
Boxers1

I have been suffering from OCD related issues since I returned to the LORD about 7 years ago. I went through a very long time where I dealt with thinking I committed the unpardonable. I had to go through long periods of counseling where I know I made my pastors tired. I have been on Paxil (before it was changed to time release better), Prozac, Celexa and Lexapro. I got tired of the side effects and went to a natural base, Amoryn (basically St. John's wort) and Clarocet. They help with depression but it doesn't help with OCD and intrusive thoughts.

1.) What medications are helping with intrusive thoughts and images?

I have read that there is a form of OCD that is labeled 'religious OCD'. I know that I have it. When I pray, junk just flies in my head that isn't relevant or related to what I am praying about. I keep hearing all of this junk about callings of the five fold ministries and I am not even thinking this stuff. I am also experiencing tons of junk when I pray and when I don't pray about the 'bad' things that are in the Word (like crucifixion, being tormented, etc) which I don't forsee is God's merciful plan for anyone. It makes me want to run away. Man, some of these images are vivid and powerfully scary.

2.) Anyone else experience this and how have you coped?

It is affecting my work life and home life. These thoughts are crazy though. One day, it is about losing your eye sight. The next day, it can be about being trapped or drowned. I do not believe that God's plan for anyone's life is to experience anything like this stuff. I keep fighting this stuff which as we all know only makes it worse. It amplifies it. On top of this, I get different sensations on my body. Whether it is spiritual or just a part of anxiety, I don't bother to investigate. But, my mind won't let this junk go. It lingers even when I quit focusing on it. I keep hearing thoughts that my heart won't falter which only amplifies it worse because then I worry what is going to hit me or happen. I want peace.

3.) Anyone else deal with this?

I need to get on some stronger medication. The 'natural stuff' but it isn't strong enough.

I miss being able to get into the Word and/or prayer and actually receiving something without fear, worry or some intrusive junk. I miss being able to enjoy the sweet prescence of Jesus instead of this other junk.

May God bless us all.

 

[Ruukasu]

Please take your medications as directed by your doctor. This post in no way implies that you should stop taking medications as directed by your doctor.


1. Medications did not help me, but I only tried two. I feel that scripture helps me the most. When I get a bad thought, I quote scripture. It was Jesus' defense.

These two help the most with unwanted thoughts:

Colossians 2:13
And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses

Colossians 1:21-22

21And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled 22In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:

Those are for my own thoughts. You have to tell which thoughts are from you and which are from the enemy.

2. I know how you feel. You must overcome the sudden fear of death because even in death you are alive. Why? Because Christ gave His life for you. This life is important for serving and showing God's love, not to worry over keeping it. Worrying won't add to your life. Remember that teaching in Matthew? Do not worry:

Matthew 6:25
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

3. You can not commit the unpardonable sin. Why? Because you believe in Jesus.

John 5:24
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.

The fact that you believe Jesus is the Son of God, and confess Him as Lord, throws that fear out the window because:

Romans 8:1
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Read the whole Chapter of Romans 8 if you are feeling condemned.

I know exactly how you feel, and yes I felt strange things happen spiritually. I do believe that some mental disorders are responses to spiritual warfare. We could have a scrupulous demon who tells uas "do this, do that" or "now you've done it" or "be scared". Images are a trick they use too. My sensory input seemed different too for a few days. They have lots of tricks. Don't be fooled. Read scripture, Paul's letters for strength and John's Gospel for faith reinforcement. Chapters 5 and 6 especially.

Oh, yeah, and if you have any other problem, check this out:

1 John 1:7-9

7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
8If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

ALL sin, ALL unrighteousness.

Love,
Ruu

 

[seajoy]

Foofur...I'm glad you found this forum....Tons of us with OCD can relate exactly to what you wrote below. Many of us have been through the unpardonable sin fear and still battle intrusive unwanted blasphemous thoughts...It seems that the definition for religious OCD is just that. One of things I can say from experience is that the things we are most fearful of thinking about are the things that keep bothering us and forcing themselves in our minds. The paradox is to "accept" the presence of the thoughts instead of fighting, but believing they are powerless and merely "thoughts". They can't hurt you or separate you from God. All they can do is scare you and fuel the anxiety. I have been right where you are. Anti-anxiety medication helps me the most and practicing the techniques of allowing the thoughts to pass through me , but working on devaluing them and not responding physically is a huge step. When we stop being afraid, the thoughts start to die down.
There are many on this forum who will support you.
Boxers1

Excellent post Boxers!
Please listen to her foofur!

Medication must go hand in hand with therapy for it to be effective. Please speak with the dr that you get your meds from, about exposure/response therapy. If this person doesn't do it, ask him/her if he knows someone who does.

It works! I know, because I suffered with this for 8yrs, before getting the right help.

God bless you, and keep you!
seajoy