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Why do I doubt my salvation?

Discussion in 'Struggles by Non-Christians' started by Bob8102, Mar 23, 2022.

  1. Bob8102

    Bob8102 Member

    United States
    OCD makes real Christians doubt their salvation. I have OCD, religious OCD. Grantley Morris says that Christians with this will be sure of their salvation one day, then doubt it the next. That is certainly my pattern. But I wonder, do I doubt my salvation because I have OCD or because I am not saved? I have at one point or more, reached the conclusion that I have not only OCD, but wavering faith. I will try to sincerely submit to Jesus, but the sincere attempt will only last a couple of seconds or so. Then my concentration, and, apparently, my faith, will waver away. I have thought that the combination of wavering faith and OCD puts me in the perfect storm. That may be why I have searched for salvation and the assurance thereof for eleven years (since my mother’s death) and have not found them.

    But I am wondering whether my doubt comes from the possible fact that I have never actually had saving faith. I convince myself that I have saving faith sometimes for brief periods of time. Then I doubt. If my doubt comes only from my OCD, but I am actually saved, then my only real problem is solved. But if my doubt comes from not only my OCD, but from the fact that I have not really surrendered to Christ, then my only real problem remains. I do wonder if, in my heart of hearts, I am so committed to myself that I’m willing to fool myself (and others) into thinking I’m saved when I’m really not.

    I may have the problem of, in my heart of hearts, not REALLY valuing Jesus and eternal life above everything else. I can, in part, lay the problem to my upbringing. I grew up in a non-Christian home where the ideals of the anti-God world system were highly elevated. I was brought up to think that I was good and to pursue the desires of my heart. Not only that, but I was the youngest child, the spoiled child. I was brought up to think that I am good and to pursue the desires of my heart. In my formative years, I was brought up this way. I learned the gospel for the first time in sixth grade, then was confronted with the possibility that I was not really saved, in about tenth grade. So the struggle between my upbringing’s view of reality and desires, and the view of the Christian gospel, within me, has been long and horrible. I don’t mention this as an excuse; lots of people who become born-again Christians have similar upbringings. But maybe I am taking longer to REALLY make the right decision, the decision for Christ, than some other people. My brother says that God does not send people to hell; they send themselves to hell.

    Many gospel tracts include the sentence: “God has a wonderful plan for your life.” The problem is, *I* have a wonderful plan for my life, which has developed over months and years. I am living on an inheritance which is not expected to last me the rest of my life. In recent years, I have had the idea that I should turn my existing wealth into a business plan designed to make more money. Not just out of greed, but so I can live. I have had plans to start a business. In recent months, I have established a plan to pursue an invention idea instead of a business idea. The more I think about the invention idea, the more it seems to me that it should work. I have turned a desk in my house into a laboratory at which I work on the invention. I have thought that only if God would bless my plans, then they will work out.

    I am confronted with the possibility that God’s plans for me, if I get saved, might be different than my plans for me. I have just been reading in Proverbs 3: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes…” Am I valuing my career plans above God’s will and eternal life? If I don’t have an economic turn around, then I am liable to become homeless, or at least a pauper, later in life. If I am not saved and I don’t have a spiritual turn around, then I won’t end up in heaven. Over the last decade, I have mostly been committed to seeking first the kingdom of heaven. But I may not have yet been REALLY willing to do what one must do to enter the kingdom. Whenever I have severely enough doubted my salvation, I have stopped work on my projects and resumed the seeking of salvation. Whenever I have just convinced myself I am saved, I have resumed work on my projects.

    When my doubt became strong enough in the last two or three days, I decided, something has to be done about this. I need to get to work on my projects in order to not become homeless or a pauper. I also need to not only be really saved, I need to have permanent assurance of salvation. Logically speaking, the spiritual need is way more important than the economic need. I have decided that I have to take some kind of approach that leads first to salvation and assurance, then to financial success. I am not yet sure what form that approach is going to take, or how long it is going to take.
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    United States
    You need to actively oppose the OCD by
    1. (if you haven't yet) getting treatment by a psychiatrist, &
    2. going to a church that is good at handling mental illnesses.
    The Church & Mental Illness...
  3. myst33

    myst33 Well-Known Member

    Czech Republic
    First, get rid of OCD.

    Then, check the doubts again.

    While you still have OCD, it destroys your ability to come to a conclusion.
  4. Servant78

    Servant78 Well-Known Member

    Our Faith is above all sickness. Got to live thru it. Jesus is greater.
  5. d taylor

    d taylor Well-Known Member

    United States

    Well, it may be that you simply do not believe God's promise, that anyone who trust in The Messiah has received God's free gift of Eternal life.

    Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life.

    That can really be the only reason. If you can not trust God, really who can you trust.

    Do you really think you can find assurance in yourself or actions you are doing, one who's good works are but filthy rags to God.

    in hope of eternal life which God, who cannot lie, promised before time began,

    And this is the promise that He has promised us—eternal life.
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2022
  6. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member Supporter

    United Kingdom
    I suspect that a large part of your problem is ' intrusive thoughts ' , that keep telling you that you are not a Christian.

    Please look up and read and reread 25 tips for succesfully treating your OCD, particularly point 4.
    This tells you not to talk or argue or try to suppress/ignore these thoughts, but simple agree with them and move on.

    As sabertooth has adviced, please seek medical help and share this web site with your doctor, parrents, friends and with your minister, so they know how to help you.

    A verse foryou.
    Matthew 12:20 A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory.

    Jesus knows your weaknesses and it is he who saved you and who holds onto your faith.

    Don't listen to the intrusive thourghts, but praise and thank God/Jesus for your salvation.
  7. disciple Clint

    disciple Clint Well-Known Member

    United States
    It sounds very much like you are trying to save yourself, that is not how salvation functions. Nothing you can do will save you. You need only to trust Jesus, believe He is who He said He is and that He did what the Gospels say He did. Jesus is the vine we are the branches, the vine gives life to the branches the branches can do nothing but trust the vine. Trust Jesus, work on your projects unless God makes it obvious that you should stop. It is likely that you are doing the will of God and that you and your invention are part of God's plan.
  8. martin-luther2

    martin-luther2 Active Member Supporter

    United States
  9. Ahermit

    Ahermit Active Member

    Who do you trust?
    If you can't trust a power greater than yourself, then do you trust yourself?
    If you can't trust yourself, then who do you trust.
    Can you trust that you will take the next breathe available to you? If so, how come?
    What else can you trust?
  10. Daniel of Sweden

    Daniel of Sweden New Member Supporter

    Stop listening to the devil's narrative.
    Do you understand in your mind that the Lord, right now, is alive and sitting on The Father's right side?
    Do you realize that, shortly, Jesus will descend again to earth, and end all evil?
    Keep this close, and stop taking heed to the world.
  11. Unqualified

    Unqualified Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    Trust God and do whatever you want. Then other things come into play, repentance and adjustments to your direction. The scriptures. Maybe you can’t help it but you overthink. God allows trials like this to make us stronger and more sure of Him and faith. Keep at it you’ll get there. It’s not a very direct route because of MI. But your mind can learn. Be in prayer for Gods help and Gods increase.

    you can take your negative doubt captive as in 2 Cor10:3-5 . I do it all day long for twenty years and manage to stay on track. Harmful thoughts intrusive thoughts don’t have to carry you away to doubt. Take them captive. Pray about this seriously what God wants to to do with it. If you’ve made your profession of faith then defend it. Get busy and control your thoughts by taking them captive. It works for me.

    It’s like thoughts like logs going down a river, when one wants to get hung up your just keep it flowing downstream onward and away so they do no harm and don’t plug up the thorough fare.
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2022
  12. angelsaroundme

    angelsaroundme Well-Known Member

    United States
    It sounds as if you are anxious about salvation and about your plans to make money. Maybe I am reading too much between the lines, but when you say, "I have thought that only if God would bless my plans, then they will work out", I get the impression that you believe going through with them, without feeling right with God first, could end up them failing.

    Unfortunately, with religious OCD, you will not feel right with God by fixating on having 100% assurance, you will only feed the doubt. Nor does God usually guarantee the success of a project. I realize that failure can be terrifying. But the longer you wait the less time there will be to try something else if the first thing doesn't work.

    If the invention requires a large financial risk, maybe there is someone you can consult to see if it's worthwhile to go through with it. I'm not sure how all that works so it's just a suggestion.
  13. Daniel of Sweden

    Daniel of Sweden New Member Supporter

    I feel the need to make a follow up on my post:
    What you are experiencing is not solely on your part: There is a great war for each believer's faith. What you are experiencing are evil forces fighting against you, to stop you from reaching higher faith in Jesus.
    That is why you are struggling.
    If you do not recognize this invisible battle taking place, you will have a hard time succeeding.
    Remember, what men think is important, God thinks lowly of. What God highly values, men devalues. For an example, money, wordly success, fame, is worth little to God.
    Have patience, Believer.
  14. Rachel20

    Rachel20 Well-Known Member

    United States
    These are self-doubts, not doubts in God. Do you think you have to be "good enough" to be truly saved? I would give up now if I thought that. It is so freeing when you realize the focus is on Christ being good enough, not ourselves. The below passage always reminds me of this, and even of the reason for it:

    For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:

    But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;

    And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:

    That no flesh should glory in his presence.

    1 Corinthians 1:26-29
  15. Bob8102

    Bob8102 Member

    United States
    Thank you all exceedingly. I have read and am taking into account all that you say. Today, I was at the dentist, in the waiting room, waiting for a deep cleaning. I was a little nervous. I accepted Christ several times. Since then I have been praising His name. I have OCD, but nothing can snatch us from the Father's hand!

    In Christ
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  16. Mark Quayle

    Mark Quayle Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States

    It is natural to be concerned for your own soul, your own salvation. The problem is, your decision, and the strength of your faith, is not what secures your salvation.

    So, I would recommend to begin glorying in Christ, immersing yourself in the Scriptures, praying not for salvation but for God's immense power and love to be known. Again, none of this is yours to obtain, but to pursue. You cannot pursue 'salvation' as such, but you can pursue Christ.

    And no, you CANNOT pursue Christ well enough. The definition of 'Grace' does not permit your activity to be 'good enough'.
  17. James_Lai

    James_Lai Well-Known Member

    God is Love ❤️

    So you are absolutely saved and safe