Why do guys have a problem with Best friends?

[Im_A]

I support friendships of the same sex, but I don't think one should be close or as close to their friend of the opposite sex as they are to their SO. Friends are good to bounce ideas off of and get some outside perspective but they should never be a replacement for the other person when it comes to confiding about personal relationship matters.
It can ruin relationships.

i agree to a certain extent.

being with a woman, there is no need to be making female friends. but when your single, having a friend of the opposite sex, is just like having a friend of the same sex.

i was in a relationship once, where the girl and i broke up after around 2 years of being together and then descided to get back together 3 months shy of a year after the initial breakup. in that time of me being single, i ended up obtaining a good friendship with a woman.

it eventually became problematic in the prior relationship. i saw no reason to give up the friendship. it wasn't as if she was more important or the only person i confided in or more important of a confidant than the woman i was in a romantic relationship with, this ex of mine and i was engaged. the ex and i, had a past of constant failing each other. she failed me, i failed her. working things out end up being impossible as it turned out, but i went to a friend. friends don't fail friends, but lovers always seem to fail lovers.

so while i agree, it does ruin the relationship, i think in the end, if it does, the relationship wasn't worth too much. especially in a case where, the couple loves each other conditionally, have constant fights, times of confusion in the relationship, time after time of failure in the relationship, someone gonna need a friend, and just because the one comes crying back, that doesn't give enough just cause to give up a friendship. in time it would have had to happen, as it would with the guy best friends.

as you can see, i still have some bitterness towards the idea that i lost the greatest love of my life, one primary reason because i obtained a good friend (which its funny how it took her 2 months after the final breakup to admit to the fact that this friend and i are actually friends) out of all the growing reasons still coming to date to why that love failed. i guess the more the reasons come, the happier i should be that it is over you think?

 

[CoachR64]

I would never stand between a girl and her best friend, just like I would request she doesn't stand between me and my boys.

My only issue would be when the best friend would not stay out of our relationship.

I was dating this girl in college. She was really awesome. We were friends for a while before we dated and she had everything I was looking for.... then there was her roommate. Unbeknown to me, her roommate had a crush on me for a long time.

Her roommate would not stay our of our relationship. She was mean and nasty to me whenever I would hang out at their house, and she tried everything she could to convincer her friend that I was the wrong guy for her.

I understand girls need their friends. I have no problem with that. I have problems when they can not keep the friendship with their best friend separate from her relationship with me.

I would never throw away a good friendship for a girl and would never ask her to do that for me.

I want to date one girl, not two. It might be most mens' fantasies to be with 2 girls, but I have no desire to be in a relationship with 2 girls. So as long as she can keep our relationship and her friendship separate, i am good to go.

Coach

 

[ImperialPhantom]

For me, the issue isn't with having the best friend. It's when the best friend is disrespectful toward her or us in general, or our other friends/families, and tries to be controlling of their friendship. I very openly support her having her girls, just as I have my bros.