Why do God put desire to get married in people who cant get married?

[Tranquil Bondservant]

You are right. A peaceful life is the scriptural term. That's really what I meant by comfortable.

Sorry I wasn't trying to be pedantic, I still 99% agreed if you kept the word comfortable .

 

[LoveDivine]

Sorry I wasn't trying to be pedantic, I still 99% agreed if you kept the word comfortable .

Haha. It's okay. I typed that out on the fly and I didn't take enough time to consider my word choice.

At any rate I think the key in all things is balance. Don't seek out suffering for its own sake but don't compromise to avoid it

 

[TheLastGeek]

I suppose my issue lies with thinking that Scripturally this should be the desire of every person. That giving up everything for Jesus shouldn't be specific to ministry but should always be apart of or a consideration of our lives. I don't know if that's an arrogant imposition on my part, if it is maybe that's where my problems lie. I'm not saying that everyone is called to give up everything but that the desire should be within everyone to some extent/varying degrees.

Thank you for your perspective

Maybe you should define (for yourself and your future potential partners, not for us) exactly what you mean by "giving up everything". Are you looking for a woman who wants to be homeless? Traveling to hostile countries to witness and possibly get martyred? Giving up "everything" means being willing to die at any moment. Living a transient life of ministry where you live off gifts/alms/offerings from others?

Should all Christians be WILLING to "give up everything" for Christ? Yes.

Is God expecting us all to function in abject poverty? Of course not. If you have a desire to marry, then the rational, natural development is to go on to have children. I sure hope you wouldn't be planning to raise children in poverty because you feel that brings some kind of spiritual superiority to the situation. It doesn't.

The desire to live an impoverished apostle's life, doesn't really jive with taking on the responsibility of a family, in my opinion. You may find a woman who's willing to walk beside you in that sort of lifestyle, but if so, I would say please, please, do not bring children into it as well, UNLESS you'd be willing to settle down, work full time, and provide a proper home and security.

I think you need to really sit down and think through exactly what you expect and want from a future relationship. And think about how realistic or practical it may be to ask another human being to live it with you. And why you really want a woman to be involved in your future life. To stave off loneliness for you? To support you? What about her? What would YOU offer to HER? Most women desire to become mothers and homemakers in SOME measure. Is that what YOU want, too? If not, what would you be bringing to a woman's life that would enrich and enhance it to the point where she'd consider binding herself to you for life? Do you have more than "come be poor with me?" Because most people can be poor on their own just fine

Just food for thought.

 

[DragonFox91]

There are married w/ children missionaries living in scarcity in developing countries. Not sure how that works for the best interest of the children, but it does apparently & I think is quite common in the missions field.

As has been said, you need to have a clearer picture of what you mean & would like. Maybe you won't know until it 'just happens.'

Question: how are you living right now? Are there changes you want to make? Or are you meeting your desire already (just no woman)?

 

[Plenipotent]

I listened to a sermon recently about the beauty of marriage and how marriage is truly a precious gift that God bestows upon us, reflecting the profound connection between Jesus Christ and His church. The comparison between this sacred bond and marriage holds deep meaning. While the world often emphasizes physical attraction, I think as believers we're called to look beyond the superficial and recognize the beauty within each person, just as God sees us.

In my own experiences, I've encountered situations where initial appearances didn't reveal the true essence of a person. As time went on, as I got to know them on a deeper level, I began to see their inner qualities shining brightly, making them even more attractive. Spending time with individuals and learning about their character can truly unveil the beauty that lies within them.

Interestingly, I've found that I rarely perceive anyone as unattractive upon first glance. Instead, I tend to see the good in them before I see the bad. Yet, when it comes to my own self-perception, I struggle with feeling inadequate in terms of appearance. Although my loved ones offer reassurance and constantly tell me I'm beautiful ( even down to mocking the people I've dated because of the contrast in our appearances ), I very often battle with not seeing myself as they do. People in my own life can't understand how I can think so poorly of myself. I believe that these feelings of self-doubt might stem from the adversary's attempts to undermine the confidence and peace God intends for us.

I think those who desire the companionship of marriage should turn to God and entrust their hopes and worries into His capable hands. He knows the desires of your heart and wants the very best for you. I think it's important to keep in mind that God looks beyond the surface and into the depths of our souls. He sees the beauty that lies within, and He has a plan that unfolds perfectly in His time.

I also believe it's perfectly valid to choose not to pursue marriage. In my personal understanding, I view dating and relationships as more than just companionship or enjoyment. I believe their purpose is rooted in the prospect of marriage. While others might hold different viewpoints, my faith leads me to perceive God's design for romantic relationships in this way.

 

[DragonFox91]

You are right in your understanding of dating relationships & marriage, Pleni. Well done.

Paul & Jesus both spoke if you have the want for a partner, pursue marriage. & the apostles, Jesus, & the OT prophets, likened our relationship to God w/ a marriage relationship, & the church’s relationship to God w/ a marriage relationship.

& since God knows his sheeps’ hearts for it, & it’s important to him, it is right to trust him in regards to it for us as individuals.

 

[Plenipotent]

You are right in your understanding of dating relationships & marriage, Pleni. Well done.

Paul & Jesus both spoke if you have the want for a partner, pursue marriage. & the apostles, Jesus, & the OT prophets, likened our relationship to God w/ a marriage relationship, & the church’s relationship to God w/ a marriage relationship.

& since God knows his sheeps’ hearts for it, & it’s important to him, it is right to trust him in regards to it for us as individuals.

I'm truly glad to know that my perspective aligns well with the understanding I've gained. Thank you very much!

 

[bèlla]

I think those who desire the companionship of marriage should turn to God and entrust their hopes and worries into His capable hands. He knows the desires of your heart and wants the very best for you. I think it's important to keep in mind that God looks beyond the surface and into the depths of our souls. He sees the beauty that lies within, and He has a plan that unfolds perfectly in His time.

The common approach to the subject brings Christ's words to mind that he said to Martha.

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord replied, “you are worried and upset about many things. But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Mary was sitting at the Lord's feet listening to the message and Martha was dwelling on cares. God isn't oblivious to our desires. But the more we focus on them the more disheartened we become. The problem isn't a lack of suitors or the numerous problems mentioned. It's an absence of faith and the fear of being alone that drives the discussions.

If you've prayed and fasted (if necessary) that should be enough. We should be at a point where we're standing on the word, praising Him for His goodness and seeking His preparation for what's ahead.

Indulgence is counterproductive to the spirit and hinders maturity. There comes a time when it should stop.

~bella

 

[pc_76]

I can't stand it anymore. If we are living in the end of times and things are only going to get much worse until this human society is finished and destroyed (by proxy of Jesus returning), I wish he would just come back immediately right now, or that I wish I could have just been born directly into Heaven for eternity in the first place, or not have came into existence at all. I feel teased by this life. If I was born earlier and was old enough to die before this wave of stuff, I wouldn't feel that way.

I can't take it anymore. I'm feeling horrible right now.

 

[trophy33]

I can't stand it anymore. If we are living in the end of times and things are only going to get much worse until this human society is finished and destroyed (by proxy of Jesus returning), I wish he would just come back immediately right now, or that I wish I could have just been born directly into Heaven for eternity in the first place, or not have came into existence at all. I feel teased by this life. If I was born earlier and was old enough to die before this wave of stuff, I wouldn't feel that way.

I can't take it anymore. I'm feeling horrible right now.

Do you keep a proper human diet and sleep? Its very important for our mood.

You can live in this world, while not according to this world. Simply do your own thing. Do not read news, if they are too negative for you, do not get involved with women, if it does not work for you, do not attend a church that does not work for you, do not watch movies if they make you feel bad, do not live in places that do not make you happy... etc.

Our life is composed of our choices. Even small steps of change will make a huge difference after a year.

We are called to victory in all our life trials.

 

[aNewMan]

Are you saying you look like Quasimodo or that handicap dude in the movie 300 that wanted to be a Spartan?

 

[Sir Robbins]

the 100 year study showed roughly 28% of men from 1919 to 2019 never married and 37% never had any kids. That number is likely to get higher very fast. I am part of that 28%. I came down with health issues back in my 20s and lost a lot of work forcing a career change and now at 34, it's just too late for me to have the relationship I want. Just a best friend. Seems a far fetched unrealistic dream and it kills me to walk away from it

 

[TheLastGeek]

the 100 year study showed roughly 28% of men from 1919 to 2019 never married and 37% never had any kids. That number is likely to get higher very fast. I am part of that 28%. I came down with health issues back in my 20s and lost a lot of work forcing a career change and now at 34, it's just too late for me to have the relationship I want. Just a best friend. Seems a far fetched unrealistic dream and it kills me to walk away from it

Friend, 34 is so young. I know it doesn't feel that way when you are 34, but trust me on this. Men decades older than yourself have found love and started families.

 

[Sir Robbins]

Friend, 34 is so young. I know it doesn't feel that way when you are 34, but trust me on this. Men decades older than yourself have found love and started families.

I want nothing to do with kids so that has been a barrier of mine.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I want nothing to do with kids so that has been a barrier of mine.

There's nothing wrong with that, either. Especially as you move through your 30's and into your 40's, you'll find more women who have kids already out of the house, or who don't want kids.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Friend, 34 is so young. I know it doesn't feel that way when you are 34, but trust me on this. Men decades older than yourself have found love and started families.

At 34, that's too young to be throwing in the towel.

 

[DragonFox91]

At the store I saw a magazine w/ the headline ‘Kids at 40!’ like it was some big scandal.

The world expects people to get married young. The world also tends to be run by people who got married young:

But God’s not limited to the world. Never has been, never will.

You are ready for marriage when he says you are ready. Turning 18, 21, 30, or 40 doesn't mean you are ready. That is man's invention. He’s not interested in having you married by a certain age, but a certain maturity.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I mean, there are certain limitations we have to live by. We aren't immortal. Our time here is limited, and our mortal bodies can only do certain things within that time. People who want to have a bunch of kids aren't going to be planning that at 65 years old. But as for marriage, that can absolutely bless your life at any time <3

 

[ZephBonkerer]

It seems like the barriers to marriage for those who desire it are mostly internal, based on what I read here. I've noticed a lot of people have this notion that there is "the one" somewhere out there. Like a "soulmate" I suppose. So they hold out for this elusive "soulmate" that may never come. I reject this notion because who we ultimately marry is driven in large part by time, space, and circumstances.

As a divorcee, I myself had some external barriers that I had to deal with. I dealt with this by distancing myself from any environment where I would have any constraints placed upon me that I deemed unreasonable. I also worked on myself internally to clear any internal barriers.

 

[Sir Robbins]

Although God put the desire of marriage in us.

God put the desire in us to know and be known. Here on earth, the greatest form of that between people is marriage but it can be achieved without it. From a sexual standpoint, it cannot if you are to honor His commands. For those who had/have desires in that realm who go into their 30s and 40s unmarried, it can be extremely frustrating and we live in a world of sin and corruption and things just keep getting worse. I am 34, never dated in my life and feel this pain. I have no one that I can connect with on a deeper level than the surface itself. God is not enough for most people. If He was enough, there would be no reason to emphasize relationships with others and we as humans would not suffer medically, spiritually and emotionally for our absence of human contact. Women fair better than men single as they are emotionally available to each other and intimate. Men do no such thing with other men.