Why can't everyone have a partner?

[DragonFox91]

Of course, but it is like a pebble in the shoe. If there was a bone tossed once and a while then it would not seem so bad. It's not just about being dateless, it's also being friendless or invisible to the opposite sex or getting poor or blah customer service when you are dealing with opposite sex inside the store, etc.... it really crosses allot of other areas apart from just dating.

I'm sure in your case you are not just dateless, you have no close female friends, you are probably not looking forward to meeting any sister at your church next Sunday, there are no prospects on the horizon, and online dating is totally useless.

But of course, there are always far worst things and that doesn't excuse not being thankful for the other blessings in life that God has provided. I still feel blessed and being divorced (ie which means I did a trial-run with a woman) know first hand there are worst scenarios than being happily single and free. Its being with a a wife that hates you and abuses you. Not signing up for that no matter how lonely I feel right now!


(Disclaimer: What I've posted may not reflect my personal situation, aspects of it might but be exaggerated or over-emphasized for dramatic effect for a more fun-read)

Yes

 

[ThisIsMe123]

But of course, there are always far worst things and that doesn't excuse not being thankful for the other blessings in life that God has provided. )

True, but try being a man in his 40s who can go years without so much as a single date or outing with a woman. Sure, you can count your blessing, but with that long of a dry spell, it seems like apples and oranges by that time.

I once went 8 years without any kind of female companionship.

I never had a girlfriend in high school or college. My first real date was with someone I met online in my late 20s.

I have LONG "gaps" in my "resume".

 

[Juan777]

True, but try being a man in his 40s who can go years without so much as a single date or outing with a woman. Sure, you can count your blessing, but with that long of a dry spell, it seems like apples and oranges by that time.

I once went 8 years without any kind of female companionship.

I never had a girlfriend in high school or college. My first real date was with someone I met online in my late 20s.

I have LONG "gaps" in my "resume".

I am in my 40s and I have not had anything in 8 years. You have a gap but I dont. So whatever I wrote does not discount that. There are others who never had anyone period so no past period.

Counting your blessings is more absolute than that as you have people's lives out there that are too difficult to bear. For example, would you prefer to be a brick slave or live in the worst slum in India with a woman or be single in North America without one? At what point would you say there is nothing to thank God about if you dont have a woman? I am all for 100% being silent about women during my thanksgiving since God has earned that silence, but what about everything else?

 

[ajcarey]

A really succinct answer to why God doesn't give everyone a partner is that man's happiness is not God's highest priority in dealing with mankind.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I am in my 40s and I have not had anything in 8 years. You have a gap but I dont.

Yes you do, you have an 8 year gap.

 

[Juan777]

Deleting post, feel my posts are touching a spiritual nerve and am seeing my folks act up and getting into a high intensity emotional reaction at coinidentally the same time I am writing. Deleting this one and the next one later as well.

 

[Juan777]

Delete post.

 

[VCR-2000]

I know a lot of people on here don't believe there will be any more families produced and male-female relations in Heaven. That is one thing that doesn't really sound like "good news" to me. Since it is otherwise something wholesome and pleasurable that God created himself and then say when we go to Heaven that it is erased. So, this is also the only lifetime to get the experience in.

 

[NotUrAvgGuy]

I know a lot of people on here don't believe there will be any more families produced and male-female relations in Heaven. That is one thing that doesn't really sound like "good news" to me. Since it is otherwise something wholesome and pleasurable that God created himself and then say when we go to Heaven that it is erased. So, this is also the only lifetime to get the experience in.

My take is that in heaven we will have absolute fulfillment being in God's eternal presence. No earthly relationship can compare to that. We will also all be brothers and sisters and the best kind for we will all be complete in Christ. We won't lack for anything in terms of relationships.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It was meant in part to be a picture of Christ and the church which will be fulfilled in heaven. It was also God's design to populate the earth and to provide an environment in which we could grow and serve others. In heaven, we will have reached maturity. That's not to say we may not grow further but the context will be completely different.

The bottom line is, we known in heaven there will be no tears. We will be perfectly joyful. Therefore, there is nothing from this life we will miss. We will see it all in the context of God's plan and not be bummed because we can no longer marry or have relations. I can't imagine heaven but I trust that in heaven we will be as happy and joyful as God created us to be.

 

[VCR-2000]

My take is that in heaven we will have absolute fulfillment being in God's eternal presence. No earthly relationship can compare to that. We will also all be brothers and sisters and the best kind for we will all be complete in Christ. We won't lack for anything in terms of relationships.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It was meant in part to be a picture of Christ and the church which will be fulfilled in heaven. It was also God's design to populate the earth and to provide an environment in which we could grow and serve others. In heaven, we will have reached maturity. That's not to say we may not grow further but the context will be completely different.

The bottom line is, we known in heaven there will be no tears. We will be perfectly joyful. Therefore, there is nothing from this life we will miss. We will see it all in the context of God's plan and not be bummed because we can no longer marry or have relations. I can't imagine heaven but I trust that in heaven we will be as happy and joyful as God created us to be.

I don't want to just be in love on the feet of how great God/Jesus is. Not that they are more important, but I don't want to relate to them in that kind of way. I also want to see family members that passed on and ask questions, do activities with them too. If all us just sat praising God for eternity without doing anything else, then that sounds like an empty Heaven and it even sounds like living in North Korea.

Also, no sexual relationships in Heaven for the rest of eternity, that sounds pretty big. I'm sure you can imagine giving that up for Lent, that is one thing.

 

[VCR-2000]

My take is that in heaven we will have absolute fulfillment being in God's eternal presence. No earthly relationship can compare to that. We will also all be brothers and sisters and the best kind for we will all be complete in Christ. We won't lack for anything in terms of relationships.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It was meant in part to be a picture of Christ and the church which will be fulfilled in heaven. It was also God's design to populate the earth and to provide an environment in which we could grow and serve others. In heaven, we will have reached maturity. That's not to say we may not grow further but the context will be completely different.

The bottom line is, we known in heaven there will be no tears. We will be perfectly joyful. Therefore, there is nothing from this life we will miss. We will see it all in the context of God's plan and not be bummed because we can no longer marry or have relations. I can't imagine heaven but I trust that in heaven we will be as happy and joyful as God created us to be.

So you are saying that absolute fulfillment of relationships, but that doesn't include things like sexual intercourse, hugging, etc. apparently. We should still be able to have fun "adventures" like sleepovers and all with loved ones and family members, otherwise it definitely wouldn't be Heaven.

I am in quarantine from contact with other family members and it's lonely, I hope Heaven isn't that.

 

[NotUrAvgGuy]

I don't want to just be in love on the feet of how great God/Jesus is. Not that they are more important, but I don't want to relate to them in that kind of way. I also want to see family members that passed on and ask questions, do activities with them too. If all us just sat praising God for eternity without doing anything else, then that sounds like an empty Heaven and it even sounds like living in North Korea.

Also, no sexual relationships in Heaven for the rest of eternity, that sounds pretty big. I'm sure you can imagine giving that up for Lent, that is one thing.

I believe you will definitely see loved ones and be able to talk to them and recall things from this life. I also don't think heaven will be one unending worship service (so to speak). I don't know what God will have us do but I believe we will be active. I don't think there will be sex in heaven because God created sex for marriage and there will be no marriage in heaven. However, we will have a new nature in heaven and new bodies. Perhaps we won't have a desire for sex? Doing without now might be hard because it's in your nature to want it but you will have a new nature that may long for different things.

I trust fully that heaven will be the greatest experience possible and beyond anything, we can now imagine. I am not worried about being bored or lonely or missing things. Remember, God designed and created us. He knows what will fulfill us. We will be changed. We will remember this life and the people from it but we will also have new bodies and a new nature and will see things from a different perspective. God has not told us the details. We will have to wait and be surprised but I guarantee it will be beyond our wildest dreams.

 

[Juan777]

Well said, @NotUrAvgGuy, Satan must be doing a good job in getting some believers to focus away from heaven and look at the fact they are single and feel like they are missing something or this is even like the second most important thing, etc... At least there will not be hang-ups or cliques in heaven where there will not be barriers for those of the opposite sex to talk with each other. It's a place where nobody feels left out. I'm mean Earthly wisdom is doom and gloom anyway. People should be thinking about where they will spend eternity rather than if they are going to die alone, because if you end up in the wrong place, even that won't matter, and if you go to heaven, you definitely will not care.

My late Aunt had a horrible single experience, but I know she's gone to be with the Lord under 10 years ago and has long forgotten what a miserable place this rock had been for her the past couple of years before she left here for good. (ie she had diabetes and they had to cut off her limbs and she had phantom limb syndrome, etc.. and it was just horrible with her. Her family didn't include her enough and she always told my mother she felt they missed the boat because they got old and didn't land a man -- this was generations before the internet mind you). You see, none of that matters as she's in heaven now. My mother knows she went there and I even said, "oh she went with Jesus." when I heard she had passed.

 

[RileyG]

I am single and firmly believe I am called to a life of celibacy by the Lord. Simple.

 

[Juan777]

While I'm not called to be celibate, I feel "blue-jacketed" and re-wired to enjoy allot of things by myself, not having to be accountable to provide for someone other than myself, can travel anywhere I want without having to plan it out with someone else's schedule, etc.... Most of all, there is allot of time. You don't really care what you say since you can't embarrass anyone, etc... There is definitely joy in celibacy whether you are called to it or not. A blissful and carefree feeling at moments.

 

[VCR-2000]

While I'm not called to be celibate, I feel "blue-jacketed" and re-wired to enjoy allot of things by myself, not having to be accountable to provide for someone other than myself, can travel anywhere I want without having to plan it out with someone else's schedule, etc.... Most of all, there is allot of time. You don't really care what you say since you can't embarrass anyone, etc... There is definitely joy in celibacy whether you are called to it or not. A blissful and carefree feeling at moments.

I know there must still be plenty of potential joys in being celibate. I just feel that way because there are also a lot of other separate special gifts to relationships (one being the "opportunity" to have the sexual experience, which is arguably the most physically pleasurable thing created on earth), Sometimes I even feel like "I need someone" because I need help if anything, and I am just not finding someone now.

 

[Juan777]

I know there must still be plenty of potential joys in being celibate. I just feel that way because there are also a lot of other separate special gifts to relationships (one being the "opportunity" to have the sexual experience, which is arguably the most physically pleasurable thing created on earth), Sometimes I even feel like "I need someone" because I need help if anything, and I am just not finding someone now.

Being divorced, I can say that sexual experience is overrated, especially as you get older and the equipment is not working the same way as when you were 16 years old and you need herbals/pills to help you get it up. In fact, I'm probably more "blue-booked" (this is a term I've made up myself which is an alternate for the word "enjoying celibate life") now than before I was married. I know what it's like to be in a marriage where you are not compatible, the intimacy is not great, you have to provide when you don't have a steady job, and you can't even enjoy a summer bike-riding properly because of a nagging wife, etc.... Maybe I just have some rotten luck, but the single-life compared to THAT marriage is better. It's only children that give marriages some redeeming purpose before the initial romance that put it together fizzles and you both get sick of each other.

 

[VCR-2000]

Being divorced, I can say that sexual experience is overrated, especially as you get older and the equipment is not working the same way as when you were 16 years old and you need herbals/pills to help you get it up. In fact, I'm probably more "blue-booked" (this is a term I've made up myself which is an alternate for the word "enjoying celibate life") now than before I was married. I know what it's like to be in a marriage where you are not compatible, the intimacy is not great, you have to provide when you don't have a steady job, and you can't even enjoy a summer bike-riding properly because of a nagging wife, etc.... Maybe I just have some rotten luck, but the single-life compared to THAT marriage is better. It's only children that give marriages some redeeming purpose before the initial romance that put it together fizzles and you both get sick of each other.

So marriage on earth itself was destroyed...that's great, not.

 

[VCR-2000]

And I don't mean to say this to be against God, but sometimes "just have faith" is cope - Also, you think we have it bad? There are those in situations that are objectively horrible and the people suffering it are legit screaming in pain for hours, even those that do love God. Cope is just saying "Well, all of our doing what we can and we can only hope it will get better, you can look forward to it getting better soon, but you can't know the exact way or time it will be done, just know that it will be done." That can be empty.

 

[Juan777]

And I don't mean to say this to be against God, but sometimes "just have faith" is cope - Also, you think we have it bad? There are those in situations that are objectively horrible and the people suffering it are legit screaming in pain for hours, even those that do love God. Cope is just saying "Well, all of our doing what we can and we can only hope it will get better, you can look forward to it getting better soon, but you can't know the exact way or time it will be done, just know that it will be done." That can be empty.

You mean it is a cliche or hackneyed for someone who is doing well in their life to say that to you and not offer the assistance that you need. That is also contrary to faith itself and the Bible talks against that in James 2:16-18. The other end of it, is what can people do to really help a non-monetary situation like that? As a Christian you can't do anything unless you are married and you want it to be with the right woman so it doesn't become another bad chapter in your life.

What cope means is you are indulging in self-pity and self-medicating yourself on things that please the flesh and lessen the pain of the circumstances. Anything else is not really cope. It could be edification, growing in grace, totally relying on Jesus to see you through so you don't fall apart like a $ 2 suitcase, etc... When you get good at that and people will see that you have a joy inside of you that transcends your circumstances that could give you witnessing opportunities. However, if we think and act like the world, then we will never have a testimony and will just look like religious people with a faraway God like everyone else.