A thought I just had. If we are single and not happy about it why are we asking other singles for advice on the subject? Wouldn't we better ask those who are married?
Just a thought
Just a thought
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Why ask other singles?
- Thread starter foadle
- Start date
LOL! That is one of the funniest things that I have heard all day! I've never looked at it that way before.
Well, if we were to ask those who were married, we'd have to make sure that they had been married at least 12.3 years, for 12.3 years is the median duration of the average marriage (in NSW Australia anyway). In addition to this, if they're younger than 40.2 years old, don't listen to what they have to say either, as 40.2 is the average age of those divorcing (once again, in NSW). So, if the married person is at least 40.21 years old, have been married for at least 12.31 years, are a Christian, and, most importantly, did not cohabit with their spouse prior to marriage (this effectively doubles the divorce rate), sure, have a listen to what they have to say about finding someone. If they aren't yet 40.2 years old and haven't yet been married for 12.3 years....BEWARE
Hahaha, clearly I have FAR too much time on my hands!
God Bless you all,
Chubi
Well, if we were to ask those who were married, we'd have to make sure that they had been married at least 12.3 years, for 12.3 years is the median duration of the average marriage (in NSW Australia anyway). In addition to this, if they're younger than 40.2 years old, don't listen to what they have to say either, as 40.2 is the average age of those divorcing (once again, in NSW). So, if the married person is at least 40.21 years old, have been married for at least 12.31 years, are a Christian, and, most importantly, did not cohabit with their spouse prior to marriage (this effectively doubles the divorce rate), sure, have a listen to what they have to say about finding someone. If they aren't yet 40.2 years old and haven't yet been married for 12.3 years....BEWARE
Hahaha, clearly I have FAR too much time on my hands!
God Bless you all,
Chubi
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the_man
" My heart is spoken for&
DING DING DING DING DING DING DIGN!!!!
In general, for advice, hopefully we are consulting people in our lives like friends we can sit down and talk to or pastors we can go out to lunch with etc etc. I think this forum is more for encouragement to know that you are not alone more than anything (albeit it this "fellowship" is still with strangers).
In general, for advice, hopefully we are consulting people in our lives like friends we can sit down and talk to or pastors we can go out to lunch with etc etc. I think this forum is more for encouragement to know that you are not alone more than anything (albeit it this "fellowship" is still with strangers).
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Periann
Well-Known Member
Ok whats NSW Australia...Im thinking north southwestern Australia...lol....ok sorry i'll shut up about that now...
Kind of like the blind leading the blind thing we have going on huh? Well I actually tend to agree with the_man on this....I like this part of the forums bc there's lots of interesting threads on here and a lot of good encouragement to be found also, not particularly here for advice though at times Ive asked for specific advice on specific situations and found many of the responses to be well thought out and helpful.
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There's a couple single fellows that I look up to. Even if their situation is not the most desirable, still...they lend experience and knowledge that I don't have.
Obviously, opinion is an opinion. It's still good to have outside viewpoint rather than my own.
Obviously, opinion is an opinion. It's still good to have outside viewpoint rather than my own.
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jubilationtcornpone
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I don't see why couples would necessarily be better authorities on singles issue than, well, unmarried people. Heck, one of the most common complaints that I hear from other singles is that the married people in their church have forgotten about what it's like to be single.
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O
okiemommy26
Guest
LOL! That is one of the funniest things that I have heard all day! I've never looked at it that way before.
Well, if we were to ask those who were married, we'd have to make sure that they had been married at least 12.3 years, for 12.3 years is the median duration of the average marriage (in NSW Australia anyway). In addition to this, if they're younger than 40.2 years old, don't listen to what they have to say either, as 40.2 is the average age of those divorcing (once again, in NSW). So, if the married person is at least 40.21 years old, have been married for at least 12.31 years, are a Christian, and, most importantly, did not cohabit with their spouse prior to marriage (this effectively doubles the divorce rate), sure, have a listen to what they have to say about finding someone. If they aren't yet 40.2 years old and haven't yet been married for 12.3 years....BEWARE
Hahaha, clearly I have FAR too much time on my hands!
God Bless you all,
Chubi
Thanks for the laugh! I need it.
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RED that's ME
*~*God *IS* Love*~*
lol That's true to a point.
I guess when you get advice, you need to consider the source & consider the advice whether it's the right answers or not. Some singles do have great advice when some married doesn't have a clue or visa versa. You don't go to a heart specialist when you have a hangnail.
I guess when you get advice, you need to consider the source & consider the advice whether it's the right answers or not. Some singles do have great advice when some married doesn't have a clue or visa versa. You don't go to a heart specialist when you have a hangnail.
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OhhJim
Often wrong, but never in doubt
It's a good point. However, you do need to consider the progression from one place to another. Most singles I know don't (yet) want to know how to make a marriage last 50 years and be awesome. They want to know how to get a date for Saturday night. As someone once said, "The only problem is what to do next".
I readily admit that no one should take advice from me on how to make a marriage last. My marriage lasted about 3 years. However, I have had many dates, and several relationships. I believe I can give good advice in those areas. Or, at least I can relate my experiences, which may or may not be typical.
I readily admit that no one should take advice from me on how to make a marriage last. My marriage lasted about 3 years. However, I have had many dates, and several relationships. I believe I can give good advice in those areas. Or, at least I can relate my experiences, which may or may not be typical.
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Spicy McHaggis
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cause it's very possible that the married people are the one's who DIDN'T learn from their mistakes...
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mina
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I don't know. I've had a few single people give me great advice about relationships, and a few married people give me really stupid or major unGodly advice, and visa versa. I respect the advice of the wise, be they single or married. Just because someone is single it doesn't mean they don't know anything about relationships. Likewise just because someone is married, it doesn't mean they are an expert or corner the market on love advice.
Quite Frankly in the realm of love and relationships, I find that most people don't know what they are doing, and those that do think they know enough to tell everyone else usually don't. It's just such an individual thing, I guess.
Quite Frankly in the realm of love and relationships, I find that most people don't know what they are doing, and those that do think they know enough to tell everyone else usually don't. It's just such an individual thing, I guess.
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mina
Brown Eyed girl
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Most married people i've asked can not offer any solid advice on how to get married. Because they don't really know. They were in the right place at the right time and I highly suspect God had a lot to do with it. I really don't think there is any magic formula to finding your mate. There are things you do to be attractive, like have good hygyine, be friendly and open, be a good person, etc... but lots of people are that already and still single. It's never because someone was good enough, smart enough, good looking enough, charming enough ect.. If it's not God's plan for me to be married right now, then I'm not going to meet the right person no matter how hard I try and no matter whose advice I take. I might meet the wrong person however and rush ahead into something that God doesn't want for me and that would be really miserable.
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JPPT1974
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Single people that used to be married
Are good ones to ask as they have
Been down that road before and may have
Made a mistake in being in a loveless marriage.
Are good ones to ask as they have
Been down that road before and may have
Made a mistake in being in a loveless marriage.
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AveMaria
Anglo-Catholic Tat Queen
Not necessarily.
Consider the following examples.
1. A couple who got married because they were pregnant and it was the right thing to do. Is it a happy marriage, or do they feel trapped, and wish they had done things differently?
2. A couple who got married because they were impatient to have sex. Maybe they rushed into marriage? I have a cousin who rushed into marriage for this reason, and the man she married turned out to be emotionally & finacially abusive. She's definately not happy.
I think I'd probably be more likely to take relationship advice from divorced people, odd as that may sound. It's almost like a "How Not To" or "What Not To Do" guide. A good male friend of mine, who is divorced, has given me some excellent relationship advice, before - some of the best I've ever received, in fact.
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That makes a lot of sense.
Married couples that are happy, on the other hand, really don't have that much to offer. Other than "you'll know when she comes along". Not very reassuring. lol
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soda
life's the adventure - got one yourself
I'd say it's good to share with others in a similar situations. you also find encouragement here. and it's good to know that you're not alone. and some of the singles have really good insight of why they are single and like it or not. and some just are very good listeners or/and advice-givers.
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