Why are you still single?

[awesome liver]

i've been single forever -- no girlfriends cos they either didn't like me or i didn't like them though not a virgin cos i'm in college, after all ..., ahem, anywho ...

working on it ...

 

[MN John]

Well, I'm not technically over 25, but I am still single. I think that God has been working on me, but I have also been consciously avoiding getting involved in a relationship for the past few years. The bottom line for me right now is that I don't know where I'll be living after I graduate. I know that I don't want to live in the area that I'm in now, but beyond that, I don't know if I'll still even be in PA or not. I'm thinking of moving south (like SC or GA), but I'm not sure yet. I mean, why bother getting involved with someone when I cannot guarantee them that I'll be living anywhere near where I'm living now come July or August 2007?

If location was the only reason to wait I wouldn't encourage you because the guy might be just as ready to move as you are. But there are many other good reasons to add to that since you're young and in school and in transition and all. So I think that it is good that you are concentrating on one aspect of your life at a time and planning to let romance wait. Leave an opening though, don't have your mind totally made up. Sometimes God surprises us with belssings that go toally against what our human plans had called for.

I'm just curious where you are in PA? I grew up in New Castle but am in MN now.

 

[~Lady Trekki~]

Wow...some of you guys have some really good answers. Me? I've analyzed this question many times and come to the conclusion that I haven't met the right person. Lame right? Well...it's most of the reason. The other part of the reason is what many of you have said...the part about God's still workin on me. Thing is He will be working on me for eternity! But for the most part I think I'm ready for a relationship now. I'm just waiting for God to bring the guy to me.

 

[trinitygrace]

I am still single because I am focusing on deepening my relationship with the Lord right now. I have options to go out with guys but I am still getting over a broken engagement and do not want to rush into anything yet. But I know the time will come when I will be ready. Thank God He still loves me and always will, single, courting, or married

 

[MrAmbassador]

Why do people stay single so long who are not called to singleness? Well, IMO, it's because they simply aren't ready. You may disagree but I really believe that's true. hope this all makes sense!

Well, Living4Him03, when, in your opinion, is a person considered "ready?" When they've dated enough people? When they been through enough experiences? When they are mature? What, pratel, is the criteria? I do agree with your cake analogy, that no one should rush to bake a cake just a bake a cake if the ingredients to make the cake delicious aren't present. But when does a person know when they have the sugar, icing, etc. to make themselves palatable to others? That's what I'm struggling with now. People often tell me that I'm such a great, smart, and funny guy, I would make a good husband, blah blah. Frankly, I just refuse to believe that stuff because if it were true then why would I be still single? I have all the ingredients except for the icing? I'm just totally confused by my situation, and I'm not clear about your reason for why people over 25 are still single.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

I do not think there is 1 reason for us being Single..

There are many and the fact that it may be God's Will for us to be with someone ones own Will can change that.

As for me being Single I could give you many reason for me being single..

 

[Moluku]

Other than falling back on God's will in our lives, I don't know if a person would really know why they're still single. One would want to focus on themselves, thinking that perhaps there is something wrong with that doesn't allow relationships. But a person would never want to change into something that isn't true to themselves. You're lying to yourself as well as those around you. I wonder sometimes why I'm still single and the insecurity rattles in my head some days.

 

[JourneyRain]

The main reason why I am single is because there hasn't been any man I even wanted to marry. That's a pretty big reason. I have dated but nothing was ever serious and looking back some of them I am so grateful that nothing occured because who knows if I would be where I am right now.
I'm in graduate school now and two years ago this wasn't even my chosen career choice so perhaps I'll meet someone before I graduate maybe not. Who knows. Sometimes all I want is to be married but somedays I'm so busy that I cannot imagine having to accommodate another person in my life. This year will even be busier with praticum and internships. But if God brings some man in my life...well I'll find a way to make time for him. But for now I'll enjoy my last week of freedom before school resumes being single and doing absolutely nothing.

 

[JPPT1974]

I do not think there is 1 reason for us being Single..

There are many and the fact that it may be God's Will for us to be with someone ones own Will can change that.

As for me being Single I could give you many reason for me being single..

You are right about that my friend
Ame!

 

[fanintoflame]

sometimes it just isn't worth it to completely put yourself out there
I guess if you are too involved or in to many relationships... then it knd of takes away from things... and when you finally get there, what do you have left? But dont get me wrong i am not against dating...

i once heard somebody describe it as "pre-marital divorce"

 

[hazeleyes80]

If location was the only reason to wait I wouldn't encourage you because the guy might be just as ready to move as you are. But there are many other good reasons to add to that since you're young and in school and in transition and all. So I think that it is good that you are concentrating on one aspect of your life at a time and planning to let romance wait. Leave an opening though, don't have your mind totally made up. Sometimes God surprises us with belssings that go toally against what our human plans had called for.

I'm just curious where you are in PA? I grew up in New Castle but am in MN now.

I live in a small town about 5 hours east of New Castle in northeast PA's "coal region." My area is notorious for the same families staying here for many, many generations. (I, myself, might be getting disowned by half of my extended family if all goes right and I do end up leaving.) People who do move out of my town usually end up one or two towns over. Also, in the particular area where I'm from, whenever I talk to a guy and future plans come up, the word "doctorate" always sends guys from around here running for the hills. I know what some of you are probably thinking "Why tell them you plan to eventually get a doctorate?" Well, I'm no going to lie to them. Quite frankly, if a man is going to be freaked out by my current (some are also scared off by the fact that I'm studying for my master's) and (proposed) future education levels when we first meet, then they will probably continue to be freaked out by them later on. I prefer to be up front about it. Like I said before though, I'd prefer to wait until I know where I will be living before I start really opening myself up to the possibility of a serious relationship.

 

[~Lady Trekki~]

Other than falling back on God's will in our lives, I don't know if a person would really know why they're still single. One would want to focus on themselves, thinking that perhaps there is something wrong with that doesn't allow relationships. But a person would never want to change into something that isn't true to themselves. You're lying to yourself as well as those around you. I wonder sometimes why I'm still single and the insecurity rattles in my head some days.

I hear that! So true...I think we all have those days as singles. There are days I'm very glad I'm not married...and other days where I'm so lonely it hurts. Thankfully most of the time I'm too busy to worry about it!

 

[Hope_0004]

I live in a small town about 5 hours east of New Castle in northeast PA's "coal region." My area is notorious for the same families staying here for many, many generations. (I, myself, might be getting disowned by half of my extended family if all goes right and I do end up leaving.) People who do move out of my town usually end up one or two towns over. Also, in the particular area where I'm from, whenever I talk to a guy and future plans come up, the word "doctorate" always sends guys from around here running for the hills. I know what some of you are probably thinking "Why tell them you plan to eventually get a doctorate?" Well, I'm no going to lie to them. Quite frankly, if a man is going to be freaked out by my current (some are also scared off by the fact that I'm studying for my master's) and (proposed) future education levels when we first meet, then they will probably continue to be freaked out by them later on. I prefer to be up front about it. Like I said before though, I'd prefer to wait until I know where I will be living before I start really opening myself up to the possibility of a serious relationship.

Really? I live in a rural area and no one has been scared off by my graduate degree except guys who are such losers it wouldn't particularly matter anyway. But I downplay it a lot and don't say anything until it comes up naturally in a conversation or something like that.

I do have friends who say this is a problem for them though.

 

[Josh3908]

I'm still single because, I couldn't afford to be anything else, I've gone to three different schools all a fair distance apart, been at college a long time. Spend all my time not on academics on athletics, so little free time.
I'm ugly, like to act like a kid sometimes. All reasons I guess.
Being a jock never worked for me, maybe because I'm a christian, and christian girls don't go for jocks because they assumed we are all self absorbed, like to drink plenty and only like cheerleaders I dunno. To be honest I wouldn't have a clue. I think I will always be single not because i want to be, I'm just convinced thats the way my life will be. Its hard to explian, I had this dream about it, it was very weird, but I woke suddenly and sat up and the words that came outta my mouth were, "I will never be married" and I had this deep feeling in me that, thats how its gonna be. Can't explain it.

To be 100% honest I don't know. My life has never gone according to plan, or even how I thought it would turn out. I try not to think about it, just trust God to work out his plan in my life.

 

[Peter_in_Christ]

To be 100% honest I don't know. My life has never gone according to plan, or even how I thought it would turn out. I try not to think about it, just trust God to work out his plan in my life.

According to whose plan? I think according to God's plan it going fine, He is teaching you things from your situation, you may not know what His purpose for you yet but you'll know in time.

Peter

 

[JPPT1974]

I would rather find someone that is ugly on the outside but beautiful on the inside rather than it be the other way around if I were given a choice.

 

[Josh3908]

According to whose plan? I think according to God's plan it going fine, He is teaching you things from your situation, you may not know what His purpose for you yet but you'll know in time.

Peter

Dude it was a figure of speech. You know what I mean we all have ideas about how we'd like things to be maybe, even if only roughly, it's just that things sometimes happen that I'd never have imagined, not because they are great acts of God (great in human perception), but just simply because, I'm not God and don't see everything, don't know everything, and things happen that we don't expect.

 

[Peter_in_Christ]

Best to avoid sarcasm.

 

[Josh3908]

I wasn't using sarcasm you missunderstood what I meant. No one likes to be missunderstood, I don't, so I tried to explian what I meant. I apologize if that appeared to be sarcasm to you, it was not and never intended to be.

 

[oncewaslost]

why am i still single?

because i've been hurt. i lost my trust in guys and was now scared of them. fortunately, i'm getting over that but it still takes a lot for me to admitt i like a guy and even more for me to talk to one.