Why are you still single?

[Spicy McHaggis]

Single because for as much as women *say* they want a guy like me, they don't.

It's funny, but a friend of mine and I were talking about this. She said "Well, you're smart, good looking, you're funny, you have a great job, and a second job, you own your own place and drive a nice car, you work with teenagers, run an investment club...

...yeah I'd blow you off too, that's the way girls are."

When I realized she was right I stopped putting effort into relationships, started dating for fun, no long term plans, and just did my own thing. I'm not wasting my time on that BS, if/when it happens, great. Until then, women like that aren't worth an effort, so I'll be relying on God to steer me towards one who is.


(oh yeah, not for nothing, I'm not bitter or upset or anything, just calling it like I see it)

 

[Tuffguy]

Ya, i agree with what you said man. Part of what i think you touched on, is that women (just like some immature men) are intimidated by sucessful guys who have it together. They know they are going to be held to a higher standard then if they dated a guy that is going nowhere.

It takes a strong woman to date a strong guy.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Ya, i agree with what you said man. Part of what i think you touched on, is that women (just like some immature men) are intimidated by sucessful guys who have it together. They know they are going to be held to a higher standard then if they dated a guy that is going nowhere.

It takes a strong woman to date a strong guy.

I'd also like to add that I'm not any better. I know plenty of quality women that I'm just not interested in, which is why I'm not bitter or upset or anything, it is what it is.

 

[GQ Chris]

Single because for as much as women *say* they want a guy like me, they don't.

It's funny, but a friend of mine and I were talking about this. She said "Well, you're smart, good looking, you're funny, you have a great job, and a second job, you own your own place and drive a nice car, you work with teenagers, run an investment club...

...yeah I'd blow you off too, that's the way girls are."

When I realized she was right I stopped putting effort into relationships, started dating for fun, no long term plans, and just did my own thing. I'm not wasting my time on that BS, if/when it happens, great. Until then, women like that aren't worth an effort, so I'll be relying on God to steer me towards one who is.


(oh yeah, not for nothing, I'm not bitter or upset or anything, just calling it like I see it)

This is so true; I never realized how many emotionally messed up people (both men and women) there are out there until I started dating around and meeting women. What some women say they want, and what they actually go for are two totally different things.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

and it's just not worth the time and effort to figure it out or fix it.

 

[Tuffguy]

This is so true; I never realized how many emotionally messed up people (both men and women) there are out there until I started dating around and meeting women. What some women say they want, and what they actually go for are two totally different things.

Agreed.
I've never heard a girl say in public, "Your confidence turns me on".

 

[Zimfan]

Because everyone around me wants me not to be!

I think that I'm gonna use that line the next time that someone asks me why I'm still single.

 

[mina]

Agreed.
I've never heard a girl say in public, "Your confidence turns me on".

I've never heard a guy outloud in public say that either. They may think it, but it's not consistant with what guys or girls do when they date someone. If all the confident people were dating and marrying all the other confident people would divorce really be a big of a problem as it is? I really think you have to know who you are in Christ and what you want before you start to involve another person in your life or get involved in theirs. Of course no one is going to be perfectly confident, b/c no one is perfect, but I think men and women need to have some sort of confidence in Christ or even themselves before they jump into a relationship without thinking or just expecting everything to be perfect.

 

[Niels]

Single because for as much as women *say* they want a guy like me, they don't.

I think that's because many women don't really know what they want. It seems as though some really do prefer to date ugly jerks who sleep around and are abusive.

Or maybe they just don't believe they deserve what they want. The self esteem of self-destructive women must be pretty low.

Ironically, I've been called smart, funny, good looking etc. (thanks Mom! j/k), but all I seem to wind up with is friends of the opposite sex... not dating relationships. That said, I'm sure I'll eventually meet the right woman.

 

[JPPT1974]

Also not just because of God's will
Call me selfish or stubborn
But I love being single.
I love taking care of myself
As well as being independent
As well as loving my freedom.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Or maybe they just don't believe they deserve what they want. The self esteem of self-destructive women must be pretty low.

I think you hit the nail on the head for both genders with the self-esteem thing.

But if you know you're a solid person, you're better off not getting involved with the emotionally fragile.

 

[Moluku]

I think you hit the nail on the head for both genders with the self-esteem thing.

But if you know you're a solid person, you're better off not getting involved with the emotionally fragile.

I agree completely. Self-esteem is a huge part in a person identifying with themselves without looking to others for approval. Two opposites, the emotionally solid and the emotionally fragile, would be like oil and water. The two people would be at different places in their lives, each trying to either catch up or wait for the other person.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I do like the emotionally fragile though. If we were marooned on a desert island (or a dessert island, mmmmm) that person would catch the fish, cook the fish, and while I'm eating the fish they'd be building me a hut. [/joking]

 

[NicelyAged]

Why are you still single?

You asked for responses from people over 25.

**I"m divorced which eliminates me from consideration by those who don't want to marry a divorced person or believe that marrying a divorced person is adultry.

**I already have 3 children and don't want to have anymore, so that eliminates me from consideration by those to want to have a baby. Remarrying someone who already has children is not a problem.

**Since I've been married, I've had sex. That eliminates me consideration by those who want a husband who hasn't had previous sex.

**The supply of Christian women who's hearts and state of mind are open to letting a relationship happen within a reasonable amount of time has dwindled. It's slim pickins out there.

**Because it's slim pickins in the Christian community, that leaves the option of going out in to the World to find someone. I'd rather not do that.

 

[MN John]

Why are you still single?

**The supply of Christian women who's hearts and state of mind are open to letting a relationship happen within a reasonable amount of time has dwindled. It's slim pickins out there.

Would you elaborate on your concept of a reasonable amount of time. I just want to compare it to mine.

 

[NicelyAged]

JAKG


It shouldn't take more than 3 months in the hangout phase to have a pretty good idea if a romance should be persued.

 

[JPPT1974]

I agree completely. Self-esteem is a huge part in a person identifying with themselves without looking to others for approval. Two opposites, the emotionally solid and the emotionally fragile, would be like oil and water. The two people would be at different places in their lives, each trying to either catch up or wait for the other person.

Good advice indeed
You hit it right on!!

 

[Tenorvoice]

well to start with I am scared to death to go down that road again and end up getting my heart ripped out and stomped on and thrown ourt in the middle of the highway, while I watch the enitre thing. (been there twice and do not want to again).

The fear of rejection right now is a bit more than I could bear to handle.

Also I am 6' and a bit overwieght, slightly balding (when I have hair), and have a heart that is so big that it gets me into trouble when I really don't need it to. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and it usually ends up hurting me in the long run.

So that is just the beginings of why I am still single.

 

[MN John]

JAKG


It shouldn't take more than 3 months in the hangout phase to have a pretty good idea if a romance should be persued.

Oh yeah, I can see that. I was just seeing if we were on similar wavelengths.

 

[hazeleyes80]

I am wondering why do you think that you are still single? especially if you are over 25. I have come into contact with a lot of great people who are over 25, and still single, and I think Lord, why have you not blessed them with someone. They seem so deserving to me. To be honest this really puzzles me. It is one of those things the devil uses on me to really question God.

Personally, I feel that God (in the past year) has greatly worked oh my emotional and spiritual majurty. Molding me into something worth having.

What about you? Why do you think you are still single? Has God been working on you? or is there some other reason.

Well, I'm not technically over 25, but I am still single. I think that God has been working on me, but I have also been consciously avoiding getting involved in a relationship for the past few years. The bottom line for me right now is that I don't know where I'll be living after I graduate. I know that I don't want to live in the area that I'm in now, but beyond that, I don't know if I'll still even be in PA or not. I'm thinking of moving south (like SC or GA), but I'm not sure yet. I mean, why bother getting involved with someone when I cannot guarantee them that I'll be living anywhere near where I'm living now come July or August 2006?