Why Are Only The Married Women Attracted to Me?

[exitstageright]

I am not taking her side. I am asking why you are wasting yours? She showed her character and I'd hope that was enough for you to go "Dodge a bullet there, Piligrim." Would you have WANTED to go out with her after that? If so, then you deserve what you get. If not, then why get emotionally invested enough to feel the need to rub it in her face? You seem to spend a lot of emotional energy on people who aren't worth spending it on. And if you want to look at it from a Christian perspective, what you did wasn't very kind...you know, turn the other cheek instead of fighting back.

If you knew my history,you would know that many times,I had turned the other cheek.The time a girl threw a lighted match on me,the time a bigger kid stomped on me in the school's boy's bathroom,when I was unjustly fired at a doctor's office,and at Stanford,I.....turned .....the....other ...cheek!!!!
After Stanford,I reasoned that it was wiser to look for another job,than getting revenge on my supervisor at Stanford. I found a temp job for four months,after that contract was up,I was elegible for unemployment.After I got an acting job,when the shooting or filming was over,I was again elegible for unemployment. So,for most of the time,I do turn the other cheek.

Did you ever see a bumber sticker that said,"the next time you feel perfect,try walking on water?". Well,that body of water is the Sea of Galilee. Jesus walked on the Sea of Galilee. I crossed the Sea of Galilee two times. I crossed the Sea of Galilee in a boat. I did not walk on the Sea of Galilee. Therefore, I ......am........not.....perfect!!!

Can I not fight back at all,at any time? God did not creat me to be anybody's verbal and/or emotional punching bag.

Yes, I have taken a lot of abuse in my life. But,I do not go around hurting people. I have never been arrested. I have never been in jail.

 

[exitstageright]

They don't fear YOU, they fear rejection and hurt.

And honestly, yes you may be justified by not believing and not trusting any woman, but the correct response would be to NOT DATE them ... not to ask them to spend an evening with you. The person bit by the pooch doesn't chase down every dog in the neighborhood and look them in the eye and say "I refuse to pet you because you might bite me." The person afraid of doggys avoids them.

And before you try to turn it around...from what you are saying, the women in your life are acting appropriately...they are staying away from potential "bites" by turning you down and they aren't seeking you out. They may still be showing up to social events because they don't want to be afraid of "dogs" anymore but they really do still have the fear.

Yes,I realize that women my age are afraid of rejection and hurt. Now,I am just being hypothetical here. Let's say that she,at 20 years old,had a nice figure and weighed 120 pounds. She got married at 22. Then,after 20 years,five kids,and 60 pounds later,she gets a divorced,or is divorced. She may think that having gained all of the weight over the years,that no man would want her.

Believe me,I do not want to get hurt,nor rejected. I apply the Golden Rule to most of my life. I do not seek to harm,to hurt,to reject ,to harrass,and to swindle any woman.

I just treat a woman the way I would like to be treated,by showing kindness,respect,affection,enthusiasm,caring,and,now at this time of my life,........patience. Granted,I was not patient when I was in my twenties. I now know that I had made plenty of mistakes in that area of my life. But,those women did not forgive me,when I made a mistake.

You say that I am not meeting the right women? Well,I meet women at church,at dances,at meet ups. Maybe ,just maybe there is no right woman for me. I sometimes feel that I must be the romantic life version of Job.That my romantic life is just part of a game that I am not suppossed to win.

 

[exitstageright]

I have a question. Exit, according to your own writings you've been married and divorced a couple of times. So, how did that happen??? If your dating life was then what you say it is now, I would have to categorize any woman marrying you as a miracle of God, so-- what changed?? You didn't marry women who were already married to someone else did you? So, somewhere along the way you must have been able to get a single/widowed/divorced woman to take a chance on you--at least twice by your own writings. Figure out what made you worth taking a chance on back then, and work on improving that.

Edit, quickie add-on before anybody asks: I haven't had a date in four years because I haven't been looking. I have absolutely no idea if I would have found someone by now if I had looked.

In my first marriage,I met my wife at work. We worked the night shift.Many women would not go out with me.They would say,"I.....don't....know.....you!"

I was new in town.However,the was no way that my co-worker could say that,because she did knew me ,by working beside me 5 days a week. She is from the Philipines,and she married me,expecting me to help support her family.By the way I knew about this tradition before I proposed to hear. She told me that I would not be expected to help her family after we got married. I then proposed,and she accepted.But,as it turned out,she just flat out lied to me.

The secound wife,I met at church.I was desperate.Becuase the smart women,the professionsals were not interested in me,I took a chance and married this multi-millionaire. But,she married me so that she would not have to spend her money. I thought that ,when a couple is married,that money becomes our money.

So I told her,"I do not need,nor want your money! You can keep your freaking money,but you won't have me! I have shown you the patience of Job for six long freaking years! I just cannot stand this non-sense anymore!!!"
P.S. I put in exclamation marks due to my qoutes. I was angry at the time,when I was speaking those words.

It is so ironic,that I have asked many women out,to dance,for dates,and many have said,"No!". I have only asked two women,in my life to marry me,and they both said,"Yes!". Now,I wish that those two women had said,"N0!"

 

[exitstageright]

I seem to have come across a gif that describes Exits' present dilemma. the picture below shows his present dating scene as described here on this forum by him. Enjoy???

Yep,that describes it alright! LOL! Well, at least here in California, were alot of people are paranoid .Thank you for sharing.

However,on my last cruise (11/16/13 to 11/24/13),that was not the case.I had good luck with some single women as well. For two nights,one woman asked me to walk her to her cabin. Two other women asked me to walk them to their cabins, on two seperate nights. Other women told me that they enjoyed spending time with me,and that I am a great dancer.One women I asked her,"Do you want to go topside and count the stars,tonight?" She did not answer. I said,"Well,if not tonight,how about tomorrow night?" She said,"No,not tomorrow night. How about tonight?
I said,"Yes!!!!"
Now,how can I just turn her down?

After the cruise,four,of the single women,persuaded me to join them on the 2014 Halloween Singles' Cruise. Now, the begining of this tread told you about the married women that I met on this ship.

What this cruise taught me is, that I will never have to pay for a woman's touch again!

I sure wished I had found this out at 19,instead of at 59.

 

[blackribbon]

bwahahaha....it took me a minute to digest what was going on....perfect illustration

 

[exitstageright]

bwahahaha....it took me a minute to digest what was going on....perfect illustration

Yes,you are observant.

Now,would you please tell me something? What do you think of these two womens' description of me? The first is from our Cruise Host.She is married. The secound one is from a lady that I have known on two cruises.
She is single,but she lives far away in Michigan. She wants me to join her on the 2014 Halloween Singles' Cruise.


M S......W...... is a wonderful gentleman!! So many men could learn from him and the other cool men from our cruise. Women love simple things such as opening doors, letting you use their arm when walking, push your chair in, etc. Thank you S...... & guys from the 2013 Baby Boomer Shelby SinglesCruise.com cruise!


Bonnie Radhs Muzi Sly, so much fun seeing you again & dancing this year. Thanks for spending the airport day with me, doing lunch & walking the beach. Great conversation. C u on the Halloween cruise next year!!
Yesterday at 1:45am via mobile · Unlike · 1

They are living proof that there are some women who like me.They just live in other states.

 

[blackribbon]

They are living proof that there are some women who like me.They just live in other states.

So stop complaining because this is an easy fix. Move. Move to somewhere where you seem to fit better and increase your odds and your options.

 

[blackribbon]

I sometimes feel that I must be the romantic life version of Job.That my romantic life is just part of a game that I am not suppossed to win.

Have you ever read Job? I'd love to be the romantic version of Job. By being faithful to God even in the bad times, the end of his story was a dream come true.

 

[exitstageright]

So stop complaining because this is an easy fix. Move. Move to somewhere where you seem to fit better and increase your odds and your options.

That is way easier said than done

I have a life here in my home state. I would never ask a lady to move to California,and for her to abandon her life at home.

I have my Drama Ministry,at my church, were people are counting on me,and need me,my favorite Pro Football Team,and a condo,that I am buying. Escrow is supposed to close on Tuesday,December 3,2013.

So you see? I have too much invested here at home to move.

We do have the best weather on the mainland,U.S.A.

My odds are better here,especially at my home church.

As the theme song of "Cheers" goes,"You want to go where everybody knows your name." ba... ba... baba .... ba... ba.....
'

 

[exitstageright]

Have you ever read Job? I'd love to be the romantic version of Job. By being faithful to God even in the bad times, the end of his story was a dream come true.

When I was reading Job,you probaly were in diapers. I have been faithful this year by not having sex with any hookers. I do not smoke,drink,or take any illeagal drugs. Therefore, I am doing a pretty darn good job controlling myself.

 

[blackribbon]

That is way easier said than done

I have a life here in my home state. I would never ask a lady to move to California,and for her to abandon her life at home.

I have my Drama Ministry,at my church, were people are counting on me,and need me,my favorite Pro Football Team,and a condo,that I am buying. Escrow is supposed to close on Tuesday,December 3,2013.

So you see? I have too much invested here at home to move.

We do have the best weather on the mainland,U.S.A.

My odds are better here,especially at my home church.

As the theme song of "Cheers" goes,"You want to go where everybody knows your name." ba... ba... baba .... ba... ba.....
'

This is called "priorities". Your priority right now is to stay where you are. There is nothing wrong with that but understand that if you truly believed that there were women who were a better fit elsewhere and you considered finding a spouse a priority, then you would be making different choices. (Your drama team probably does value you but they wouldn't fall apart if you had to move...and the 49ers would also be fine with you cheering from another state... ) And if you odds are better at your church, then quit belly aching.

And before you tell me that it is easier said than done, you must understand that I have done it...left everything including a house...sold it long distance...and restarted my life from ground zero in an area where I knew no one because, for various reasons, that was a priority in my life.

PS...congrats on the new home...maybe it is time to stop making finding a woman a high priority and just start learning how to be happy/content alone...nobody is spending your money and nobody cares if you go to a million football games...could be a win-win.

PSS...take some time to actually READ Job...if you were too young to understand the story, I doubt that you actually read it versus somebody handing you a kid's version in some Sunday school material. It is a fascinating read and is written not that much different than a play where Job and his friends actually dialogue.

 

[mjmcmillan]

Y'know, it's the funniest thing in the world in one sense. None of us like to leave what's familiar. I've been a resident of the Chicago area my whole life, for example and this place is "home" to me.

But, those of us who have given our lives to Christ did so with the open knowledge-- it's in scripture, you can look it up-- that we may be called at any time to leave it all behind and go where He sends us, on not much more than "Follow Me" as the word that guides us to where He will have us to go, to do what He will have us to do when we get there. All you have to go on is faith, and "Trust Me".

So, in light of that--- how firm is your grasp really on your present circumstances? If you won't leave because of the things you have to find a spouse, will you do it to follow Jesus if He calls you-- or will you say "No, Lord, I have a comfortable life right here and I'm staying put here until I breathe my last"? I fancy that somewhere in the dark watches of the night, each of us will have to struggle with that question-- and the more goodies you have to leave, the harder that question is to answer.

Something to think about on a Sunday afternoon.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I totally agree.Ain't that the truth. When I was married,I did help out around the house,wrote "I love you" on the fogged up bathroom mirror,was kind to her outside of the bed room,called home during my working hours just for no specific reason,and my wives wanted sex more often that I did.

But,my problem,for meeting a new woman,is that I just do not know what to say,that a woman wants to hear. My verbal skills are not good,when it comes to any kind of "seduction" I just do not know what are the right words to say. And,since every woman is different,I feel as if I am "Comming up to bat with 2 strikes already on me.

In many situations,such as job choices,when I decided to join the U.S. Navy,I beleive that God has spoken to me to make the right decision. Those decisions turned out very well. What I do not understand is why won't God speak to me,when it comes to me saying the right words,so I can attract someone. I feel as if I am being robbed.

If you treated me this way I wouldn't talk to you either. We are made for HIS glory and HIS purposes. We are not here to have a perfect life. Maybe some get that, but we are not promised that.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Also exit, if you were so good at "reading people" you would not be here wondering why only married women are attracted to you. just sayin'

 

[exitstageright]

Also exit, if you were so good at "reading people" you would not be here wondering why only married women are attracted to you. just sayin'

Well.....I never said that I could read everybody.