Why am I scared?

[HisW0rd]

I am terrified that I will be leaving my "cushion" soon. Its like my heart is in my throat. But when I think about the reasons why I want to leave, I cry because I have no power to change anything. I have always been the person that wanted to love people back to happiness and try to help but now I just feel like I am alone.

No one understands how I do not want TV in my home, I do not want to radio in my home, I do not even want certain music or movies in my home, I do not even want people who can't control their mouths in my home. I want a holy life and a holy home...and no matter how many times I tried to do this with others, I fail miserably, and now my son is here. I can't hold him back because I am trying to go up while others are trying to stay down.

Not saying they are bad people but when they say they want a better life but don't do anything to change their lives...it makes me wonder what do they really want, a freebie? I do not care anymore honestly. I could care less because all I can do is pray and move on.

I want to live a life in the Holy Spirit and it hurts me that I have to walk away from what I know to achieve this thing I have desired since I was 17. I wasted 9 years of my life, I cant do this no more. Am I foolish? Am I being judgemental? I do not want to be, I just want to be with God, and I will give up everything for Him. Every time I try to live the life I want with other people, they do not like what they do not understand and go against me.

Thanks everyone praying for everyone, God bless!

 

[odiear3rd]

God Bless you. I am Praying for you. After reading your post, I thought of a flower that blooms where it's planted. You are like this flower that must bloom where God has planted you. Sometimes life seems to be hard, we think that we must move out of the bad situations in life. God allows Trails and Tribulations to come upon us to Strengthen our Faith. When people reject what we stand for, we think they are rejecting us. But, they are really rejecting God.

When the children of Israel wanted a king, Samuel thought they were rejecting him. God told Samuel that they were rejecting Him. God allow them to have their choice Saul. That didn't work out. God's choice was David. The rest is history.

God's Word will strengthen your Faith. God Bless you again.

 

[servant of Merciful Love]

Joining in prayer as your discern the Lord's will for you and your son.
May Christ be your Presence, hope, peace, and joy

 

[NoelAsa]

Praying that you will find peace and comfort!

 

[SplendidTree]

Praying!

 

[eaglesWings144]

I'm praying for you! I feel that this is a season of growth in your life where you will need to learn to let go of some of your own supports, and just totally lean on the Lord, and stand firm in His promises, such as-
Psalm 2:12, Proverbs 3:5-6, Romans 8:28

The Lord has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, of Love, and of a sound mind! If you feel afraid or overwhelmed, just turn the fear over to the Lord, and ask the Lord for more Love to be poured out upon your life. The Lord is faithful, and he's fighting the battles alongside you. Peace be with you

 

[odiear3rd]

I'm praying for you! I feel that this is a season of growth in your life where you will need to learn to let go of some of your own supports, and just totally lean on the Lord, and stand firm in His promises, such as-
Psalm 2:12, Proverbs 3:5-6, Romans 8:28

The Lord has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, of Love, and of a sound mind! If you feel afraid or overwhelmed, just turn the fear over to the Lord, and ask the Lord for more Love to be poured out upon your life. The Lord is faithful, and he's fighting the battles alongside you. Peace be with you

 

[richterforest]

Praying for you! I know how you feel the world can be a burden especially when trying to live as the Lord wants you to live. Always remember He died for us all, He was persecuted, his disciples were persecuted and died for their belief.
Let your light shine, dont hide it. Think about it, if you help just one person come to the Lord, all the bad things you have to endure will be worth it. Least thats how I look at it.
And I always try to remember that I would be lost too if not for the resilience of the early church to keep the Lord's Word, the Lord's church growing. God is on your side!

 

[heavensangel1964]

Hi HisW0rd!

I am praying for Our Sweetest Father God's peace, joy, wisdom, happiness and love, to envelope YOU...

For All Is Well...


My Sweetest, Precious, Heavenly Father...

I continue to totally abandon HisW0rd to YOU...

My Sweet, Loving Father God...

May Your Holy Will Be Done HisW0rd, According To your Heavenly Will and Timing...

'Thank YOU, My Sweet, Heavenly Father God!'

'I Praise YOU, My Sweet, Heavenly Father God!'

'I Love YOU, My sweet, Heavenly Father God!'

AMEN!

 

[Linus]

Praying for you and your son in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank You Lord!