Satan will do his best to distract and discourage you. He won't trouble people who have no interest in spiritual things. We also have an inner self, no longer the real us, that opposes the spirit. It is called "the natural man" and it that which we deny daily. Taking up the cross means putting the old memories and habits of self to death, so that we might live in the new life that Jesus gives us. The real "you" loves God, loves Jesus, loves His word and loves the brethren. Satan appeals to the natural. An example is Peter when Jesus stated that He would go to Jerusalem to be killed. Lord Jesus rebuked Peter for thinking like a man instead of being led by the Spirit of God. Lord Jesus also saw Satan's influence in what Peter was thinking.
It is a wonderful thing to be a failure, by the way. God only uses failures. Those who never fail (at least in their own eyes) are useless because they depend on themselves. Everyone fails. Those who accept that can be useful to God. Others remain too self assured and self motivated. God's ways are still higher than ours. Sometimes we need to be reminded of that! And failure is one way that God lets us know that He has not finished with us yet.
