Why am I like this

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I've been going through phases of sometimes eating/reading so much scripture and then next month I'm barely reading any. It's like I think it will be boring if I read but I always learn something new. It's like when I dread work but then God helps me every step of the way not be so bad in fact it is good. Why am I like this why do I have a gut reaction to initially resist what is good and makes me feel good.

On a side note sometimes I measure myself by how much I'm doing whether it be work or Bible reading and if I'm lacking I feel like a failure and start believing the negative self talk in my head.

 

[Jamdoc]

I get it too, especially when I'm reading things like the historical books or old testament books of the law. I get to a point of "what is the profit in me knowing the boundaries of each tribe's inheritance within the old nation of Israel in Joshua?" or a certain truth gets hammered in so many times in a row that it feels like I'm just in a biblical version of the movie Groundhog Day where it's just repeating the same thing over and over and every time I turn to a new page it's just the same page again.

I do better with New Testament and Prophecy but occasionally find interesting things in Genesis, Exodus, and Numbers and Deuteronomy... but Leviticus is a slog. Joshua and most of the Historical books are kind of slogs.

I don't know how to get amped up for reading those books.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I get it too, especially when I'm reading things like the historical books or old testament books of the law. I get to a point of "what is the profit in me knowing the boundaries of each tribe's inheritance within the old nation of Israel in Joshua?" or a certain truth gets hammered in so many times in a row that it feels like I'm just in a biblical version of the movie Groundhog Day where it's just repeating the same thing over and over and every time I turn to a new page it's just the same page again.

I do better with New Testament and Prophecy but occasionally find interesting things in Genesis, Exodus, and Numbers and Deuteronomy... but Leviticus is a slog. Joshua and most of the Historical books are kind of slogs.

I don't know how to get amped up for reading those books.

I appreciate the honesty, it's nice to hear someone else dealing with similar things I do. It's the equivalent of people saying "ya you know you just gotta eat your vegetables and brush your teeth if you want to stay healthy and have good teeth" but it's like my eyes glaze over immediately when it sounds like people are just reiterating the same things everyone says we're no longer having conversation with substance we're just a bunch of sound bytes and I do it too sometimes but still I hate that about myself as well.

And on a side note that groundhog day comment made me laugh lol

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I appreciate the honesty, it's nice to hear someone else dealing with similar things I do. It's the equivalent of people saying "ya you know you just gotta eat your vegetables and brush your teeth if you want to stay healthy and have good teeth" but it's like my eyes glaze over immediately when it sounds like people are just reiterating the same things everyone says we're no longer having conversation with substance we're just a bunch of sound bytes and I do it too sometimes but still I hate that about myself as well.

And on a side note that groundhog day comment made me laugh lol

Wow just want to say sorry if I went on a tangent there I realized I deviated a bit from my OP

 

[Jamdoc]

I appreciate the honesty, it's nice to hear someone else dealing with similar things I do. It's the equivalent of people saying "ya you know you just gotta eat your vegetables and brush your teeth if you want to stay healthy and have good teeth" but it's like my eyes glaze over immediately when it sounds like people are just reiterating the same things everyone says we're no longer having conversation with substance we're just a bunch of sound bytes and I do it too sometimes but still I hate that about myself as well.

And on a side note that groundhog day comment made me laugh lol

Yeah I'm hoping someone else has actual advice cause I'm stumped
I would normally want to just take a break from scripture but I constantly hear that's the "secret" to beating sin is to just spend more time in God's word, citing Psalms 119:11 but .. yeah, a lot of the bible is pretty difficult reading for me and my mind wanders with so many repeats about what exactly to do with the animal sacrifices we no longer perform.
dunno how to improve that.

 

[Joined2krist]

It will help if you say a short prayer asking the Holy Spirit to speak to you through the scriptures as you read it. You're not feeding your flesh, rather you're feeding your spirit, it's a spiritual exercise, so start off with praying, God bless

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

Yeah I'm hoping someone else has actual advice cause I'm stumped
I would normally want to just take a break from scripture but I constantly hear that's the "secret" to beating sin is to just spend more time in God's word, citing Psalms 119:11 but .. yeah, a lot of the bible is pretty difficult reading for me and my mind wanders with so many repeats about what exactly to do with the animal sacrifices we no longer perform.
dunno how to improve that.

Well I guess the only advice I tell myself that works is to just keep moving forward and I'm sure there will come a day when I feel interested to read some more scripture. One verse that reminds me of advice to give myself is this:

You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me" John 5:39

I guess as long as I'm honest with Jesus and have a good relationship with Him that's all that really matters

 

[Jesus is my Superhero]

It's hard to maintain an even keel, not constantly up and down, when working a job in the secular world.
As soon as you set foot inside the workspace, there are elements demanding your attention, and none of these are spiritual at first glance. But of course some are spiritual, such as attitudes and where they originate. Evil influences.
Being able to say quick silent prayers when the moment presents itself, throughout the day, may help in holding negative influences at bay. Don't beat yourself up, understand that a battle is always raging in the spiritual realm and we are but flesh. Learn to meditate and fill your mind with teachings of Jesus. It becomes easier over time and you'll find that an even keel may be possible, but not without hard work in the pursuit of His righteousness. Your ups and downs won't be as drastic in fluctuations.

 

[Jamdoc]

It will help if you say a short prayer asking the Holy Spirit to speak to you through the scriptures as you read it. You're not feeding your flesh, rather you're feeding your spirit, it's a spiritual exercise, so start off with praying, God bless

Oh I do that, but I also find myself praying "what is the point of this?" when I read the later chapters of Joshua for instance.

 

[Aussie Pete]

I've been going through phases of sometimes eating/reading so much scripture and then next month I'm barely reading any. It's like I think it will be boring if I read but I always learn something new. It's like when I dread work but then God helps me every step of the way not be so bad in fact it is good. Why am I like this why do I have a gut reaction to initially resist what is good and makes me feel good.

On a side note sometimes I measure myself by how much I'm doing whether it be work or Bible reading and if I'm lacking I feel like a failure and start believing the negative self talk in my head.

Satan will do his best to distract and discourage you. He won't trouble people who have no interest in spiritual things. We also have an inner self, no longer the real us, that opposes the spirit. It is called "the natural man" and it that which we deny daily. Taking up the cross means putting the old memories and habits of self to death, so that we might live in the new life that Jesus gives us. The real "you" loves God, loves Jesus, loves His word and loves the brethren. Satan appeals to the natural. An example is Peter when Jesus stated that He would go to Jerusalem to be killed. Lord Jesus rebuked Peter for thinking like a man instead of being led by the Spirit of God. Lord Jesus also saw Satan's influence in what Peter was thinking.

It is a wonderful thing to be a failure, by the way. God only uses failures. Those who never fail (at least in their own eyes) are useless because they depend on themselves. Everyone fails. Those who accept that can be useful to God. Others remain too self assured and self motivated. God's ways are still higher than ours. Sometimes we need to be reminded of that! And failure is one way that God lets us know that He has not finished with us yet.

 

[timf]

One can read a verse and see a depth of meaning that had previously not been recognized. This is particularly brought home when the verse lies between two other verses that had been previously highlighted.

Too often we are shaped by classroom instruction to think of learning as sequential. Human learning is more recursive as new information is integrated into a sort of three dimensional understanding.

One approach to bible learning that is difficult is to persevere through the boring parts time after time until more and more things are integrated.

Another approach is to go on a sort of puzzle hunt. For example when one reads Paul telling the Corinthians that they should know "we" will judge the angels one sees a sort of "puzzle piece" One can search the bible to try to find a matching piece. All sorts of questions arise;

1. Who is "we"?
2. Good angels or bad angels?
3. How could judgment take place with little or no information?

Many puzzle pieces remain unanswered. Others can be put together to build a bigger picture, but still not completely resolved. Tools such as esword can be very useful in this type of approach to bible study.

Book studies, word studies, and topic studies can also be a good way to mix things up and invigorate ones bible time.

 

[Mark Quayle]

Yeah I'm hoping someone else has actual advice cause I'm stumped
I would normally want to just take a break from scripture but I constantly hear that's the "secret" to beating sin is to just spend more time in God's word, citing Psalms 119:11 but .. yeah, a lot of the bible is pretty difficult reading for me and my mind wanders with so many repeats about what exactly to do with the animal sacrifices we no longer perform.
dunno how to improve that.

It's not a sin to skim over places at times. Reading huge amounts of Scripture fast will make parts jump out at you, specially when there's something on your mind concerning which you wish God would answer you. You will miss a lot, that way, but you will miss a lot regardless, and you will begin to see God's heart in what does repeat, (with different words and contexts, perhaps, but the same heart.) At least, that is how it works for me.

For example, I wanted to see how Jesus, "since he was tempted in every way as we are", managed to never sin. It took a long time to see, but through prophecies concerning him, through seeing the humanity in all the Old Testament 'heroes', through seeing God's heart all through the Bible, through reading Jesus' relationship with his God and Father while he was here on earth, I came to see that he indeed did 'put off his God-ness', so to speak (i.e. he did not do anything through his own power and ability as God), but depended completely on the Father (thus, ironically, proving he was God). I also in that time learned many other things though I had not been looking for them.

 

[Brian Mcnamee]

Hi Christianity is hard work as a spiritual being we are thrust into a spiritual battle and the way the Greek words are they have that perfect present tense so all the admonishments of scriptures of what to do and what not to do mean always continually and with out stopping keep doing or not doing them.

So when we trust in the LORD it is not a one time deal or when we delight in the LORD or seek the LORD these are continual things we are to be doing and they require discipline. Why do we need to do them because if do not we give a foothold for something else to creep in. Godly men who I have watched for years have made it a habit to have a daily strong devotional life and then a strong study life. This is like an athlete working out to be at their best and taking care of the body in a spiritual sense.

These men who have done this all confess that they face the same struggle as you and yet through experience they persist having seen the seasons of their lives come and go and they can all testify that the seasons of honest pure devotion to the LORD has been where strength and direction has come from and the seasons of regret or spinning their wheels have come when they have taken the short cuts in their prayer, devotional and study life.

So suck it up and discipline yourself to do it and God will meet you and strenghten comfort and guide you daily as it is what we need. Gather the manna each day enough to get through the day.

 

[aiki]

I've been going through phases of sometimes eating/reading so much scripture and then next month I'm barely reading any. It's like I think it will be boring if I read but I always learn something new. It's like when I dread work but then God helps me every step of the way not be so bad in fact it is good. Why am I like this why do I have a gut reaction to initially resist what is good and makes me feel good.

On a side note sometimes I measure myself by how much I'm doing whether it be work or Bible reading and if I'm lacking I feel like a failure and start believing the negative self talk in my head.

The First and Great Commandment isn't to do things for God but to desire Him, to long for Him, to hunger for Him - that is, to love Him with all of your being. (Matthew 22:35-38) When you are obeying this First and Great Commandment, everything else - Bible reading included - becomes something you also desire, that causes you joy. Love, not duty, or obligation, or fear, or self-righteousness, is to be the constant motive for, and ground out of which, all of our walk with God arises. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3) When it is, you will find that your love for His word also enlarges.

You cannot find spiritual transformation in understanding yourself. The more you are occupied with you, the less attention you can give to God. But it is only as we are focused on, and submitted to, Him that we become, by His Spirit, conformed to Him.

2 Corinthians 3:17-18
17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Hebrews 12:2-3
2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

1 Peter 5:6
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,

Romans 6:13
13 Neither yield your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those who are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.

So, beware the practice of asking, "Why do I do thus and so?" All you need to know about yourself, really, is what God has revealed about you in His word. Navel-gazing, fussing over your personal psychology, won't take you deeper into God, only deeper into yourself.

Jesus said that where we invest our time, energy and money - our "treasure" - is where our heart will be. (Matthew 6:21) In what are you investing your treasure?

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

It's hard to maintain an even keel, not constantly up and down, when working a job in the secular world.
As soon as you set foot inside the workspace, there are elements demanding your attention, and none of these are spiritual at first glance. But of course some are spiritual, such as attitudes and where they originate. Evil influences.
Being able to say quick silent prayers when the moment presents itself, throughout the day, may help in holding negative influences at bay. Don't beat yourself up, understand that a battle is always raging in the spiritual realm and we are but flesh. Learn to meditate and fill your mind with teachings of Jesus. It becomes easier over time and you'll find that an even keel may be possible, but not without hard work in the pursuit of His righteousness. Your ups and downs won't be as drastic in fluctuations.

thanks man this really helped to read

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

One can read a verse and see a depth of meaning that had previously not been recognized. This is particularly brought home when the verse lies between two other verses that had been previously highlighted.

Too often we are shaped by classroom instruction to think of learning as sequential. Human learning is more recursive as new information is integrated into a sort of three dimensional understanding.

One approach to bible learning that is difficult is to persevere through the boring parts time after time until more and more things are integrated.

Another approach is to go on a sort of puzzle hunt. For example when one reads Paul telling the Corinthians that they should know "we" will judge the angels one sees a sort of "puzzle piece" One can search the bible to try to find a matching piece. All sorts of questions arise;

1. Who is "we"?
2. Good angels or bad angels?
3. How could judgment take place with little or no information?

Many puzzle pieces remain unanswered. Others can be put together to build a bigger picture, but still not completely resolved. Tools such as esword can be very useful in this type of approach to bible study.

Book studies, word studies, and topic studies can also be a good way to mix things up and invigorate ones bible time.

Thanks I'll use the puzzle method next time I read

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

It's not a sin to skim over places at times. Reading huge amounts of Scripture fast will make parts jump out at you, specially when there's something on your mind concerning which you wish God would answer you. You will miss a lot, that way, but you will miss a lot regardless, and you will begin to see God's heart in what does repeat, (with different words and contexts, perhaps, but the same heart.) At least, that is how it works for me.

For example, I wanted to see how Jesus, "since he was tempted in every way as we are", managed to never sin. It took a long time to see, but through prophecies concerning him, through seeing the humanity in all the Old Testament 'heroes', through seeing God's heart all through the Bible, through reading Jesus' relationship with his God and Father while he was here on earth, I came to see that he indeed did 'put off his God-ness', so to speak (i.e. he did not do anything through his own power and ability as God), but depended completely on the Father (thus, ironically, proving he was God). I also in that time learned many other things though I had not been looking for them.

That's SUPER interesting! thanks for that I never thought of Jesus not sinning as truly putting off His Godness and being 100% dependent on God

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

Hi Christianity is hard work as a spiritual being we are thrust into a spiritual battle and the way the Greek words are they have that perfect present tense so all the admonishments of scriptures of what to do and what not to do mean always continually and with out stopping keep doing or not doing them.

So when we trust in the LORD it is not a one time deal or when we delight in the LORD or seek the LORD these are continual things we are to be doing and they require discipline. Why do we need to do them because if do not we give a foothold for something else to creep in. Godly men who I have watched for years have made it a habit to have a daily strong devotional life and then a strong study life. This is like an athlete working out to be at their best and taking care of the body in a spiritual sense.

These men who have done this all confess that they face the same struggle as you and yet through experience they persist having seen the seasons of their lives come and go and they can all testify that the seasons of honest pure devotion to the LORD has been where strength and direction has come from and the seasons of regret or spinning their wheels have come when they have taken the short cuts in their prayer, devotional and study life.

So suck it up and discipline yourself to do it and God will meet you and strenghten comfort and guide you daily as it is what we need. Gather the manna each day enough to get through the day.

thank you for your encouragement

 

[Sparta]

On a side note sometimes I measure myself

You can't assess your spiritually by your feelings.
Feelings are the soul realm,.... the mind, emotions, and these are affected by everything that isn't connected to the Spirit.
The born again Spirit is circumcised from the flesh, Colossians 2:11 , and the "mind of the flesh" is where your feelings exist and where your free will exists.
When we are born again, we become, SPIRITUALLY.... a part of God's Spirit. (Spiritual Union).
That is not your mind or your body, that is Christ in you, as your born again Spirit becoming you as a new Creation in Christ.

And regarding your study habits...
Set aside the time each day, and just do it.
Developing inner tenacity in this way, will overcome your random feelings, given time.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

You can't assess your spiritually by your feelings.
Feelings are the soul realm,.... the mind, emotions, and these are affected by everything that isn't connected to the Spirit.
The born again Spirit is circumcised from the flesh, Colossians 2:11 , and the "mind of the flesh" is where your feelings exist and where your free will exists.
When we are born again, we become, SPIRITUALLY.... a part of God's Spirit. (Spiritual Union).
That is not your mind or your body, that is Christ in you, as your born again Spirit becoming you as a new Creation in Christ.

And regarding your study habits...
Set aside the time each day, and just do it.
Developing inner tenacity in this way, will overcome your random feelings, given time.

thank you a lot to digest but worth the read for sure