why am i here?

[katylees]

I don't think there's much point me being here. No one woukd really miss me. Infact, i don't know why people would. I'm horrible to my friends. I don't deserve them. I don't treat them right, i;m just horrible.

The next hour won't be a good one (not wanting anyone to worry, there's no need to, i'm not gonna kill myself)

 

[Purified]

It looks like you know what your problem is. Perhaps you could use that knowledge to turn things around? There's always time to change.

You should make a list of what in your life is going in the wrong direction, and think of little things that you can do to change that.

I recently starting running every morning while lsitening to music to get all my frustrations out and get my thoughts in order. At first it was for excersize, but it's turned into a safe outlet to get out all the things in my life that I don't like. It helps me think and put things into perspective.

I'm currently going through a horrible senior year. I've skipped dozens (literally) of days of school throughout the year for no good reason but my own fear of people, and I turned into a liar with horrible grades, and I'm ashamed. I don't want people to know what I was, but they probably know anyway, and it's hard. But I'm trying to turn it around by slowly working towards being honest, trying SO hard to go to school everyday and getting my life on track. It feels so good to do something good, even if it's small.

You could start out by doing something nice for your friends. Or simply talking to them... if there's a specific instance where you might have hurt a friend... try apologizing. These things can be fixed.

You'll be in my prayers tonight! *hugs*

 

[rfprewitt]

I've always found that no matter what I think, people WOULD miss me if I died. People WOULD miss you too. I struggle a lot with not feeling wanted or loved. I often feel like I don't have anything to offer to anyone, so it wouldn't really matter if I died either. But then I remember that God would not have put me here if He didn't have a purpose for me. I haven't completed that purpose and neither have you. God has you here until you have done what He has put you here to do. That means that there is a plan that He has, and you are a vital part of it. It can't happen without you. That means that your life is important. If not to anyone else, then to GOd; and nothing and nobody is more important than that. I hope that helps. If you need anything, please pm me.

 

[katey]

katylees firstly
secondly, i know exactly how you are feelin because i was feelin it just under 2 weeks ago i thought no 1 would miss me if i was gone. mine went a little further and i did actually try and kill myself but since being let out of hospital i have realised actually how many poeple would have missed me if i was gone. i'm not sayin everything changed because it hasn't it takes ime to change things. but please dnt think no1 will miss you because they will do they may not act like it but they will do. there will be someone out there who looks up 2 u. even if you dont think so.
i know its hard, and your probably thinking how can i be saying this after i tried to killmyself and yeah i honestly agree i just wanted you to know that was all.

hope you start to feel a little bit better soon am praying for you Katey xx

 

[katylees]

Thank you all. Not miuch to say right now. Sorry.

 

[katey]

its ok thats what we are here for. and you don't need to be sorry.

 

[TheUnraveling]

The Bible says that we were known about before the foundations of the world. That we were "knit" together in that secret place, and that our days were numbered from beginning to end. God loves you so much that he even knows the number of hairs on your head! Take heart, you are here for a REASON! See Him and see.... listen and do...... God bless.

 

[ArmouredSaint]

I give hugs when I don't have the words but I've been where you are. One on one,you're not alone and yes you'd be missed.

 

[katylees]

thank you all

 

[Soulwings]

Katy, hun ...
First off, you are worth it. Youre a lovely friend, an amazing person, and I love you heaps cos youre my sis. You deserve so much better than what youve been going through lately. I dont have the words to make things better, but know that Im praying for you and love you. God loves you too, so much. Things have got to get better, sometime. They WILL get better.

 

[Mayflower1]

I would miss you katylees,

Please don't go. I will pray for you.

Lily00

 

[katylees]

Soulwings and lily00 .. thankyou for your kind words. They mean so much right now. Love you both. *hug*

 

[Mayflower1]

Remember Katy, through God all things are possible. He will give you strength and you will be able to make it through if you just hang on and keep trying. Lily00

 

[katylees]

 

[katylees]

I got home from uni 2 days ago and have been really ill, nbeen in bed for the most part. Haven't eaten anything (apart from half a roast dinner yday which i threw back up )

Went to docs and he said i just need rest and paracetmol/ibuprofen. Meh, also on a new anti depressatn now which i started yday .. Duloxetine/Cymbalta .. i hope i lose some weight as the other one made me gain a stone in 2-3 months