why am i getting this? bizarre and creepy

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

KayJoy said:
You misunderstood me, sister. I also experienced rapes many numerous times since a small child. I did not say she didn't experience it.

Listen carefully to what I am trying to say. Our sister "WrappedUpInHisLove3" stated that she lied as a 5 year old about someone raping her. My question to her is .... how would a 5 year old lie about something like that? (In other words... I do not believe she lied at all.) A five year old child who's never been raped or exposed to sex wouldn't know to make such accusations. If a 5 year old makes such an accusation and then recants... I have to wonder who threatened her to be quiet. That's what I'm getting at.

I'm sorry if my words failed and you thought I said something I did not say.

i wasnt raped. i lied about being raped..... i dont know why i did it....i was a confused messed uo child. i di not use the word rape. i said soemoen out somethign inside me, up my bum......becaus emy dad used to threaten to do that as a punishment if i acted up.... he was a violent man. so for some reason (i cant rememebr doing it) apparently my oparents tell m ei went round blurting it out and a schoolteacher got worried and assumed some kind of abuse must be occurring? i di dnot know why she was asking me questions about what my dad was supposedly doing so i gave answer that made snese to me...

it is ok- God is just and He disciplined me for it....because then i was sexually assualted for real. more than once. by different people,. not rape per se. more like assualt and molestation. no actual sex. sosmetimes it was vioelent. but it is ok....God was chastising me and rightly so, and i have earned my forgiveness

KayJoy · Jun 1, 2020

KayJoy said:
You misunderstood me, sister. I also experienced rapes many numerous times since a small child. I did not say she didn't experience it.

Listen carefully to what I am trying to say. Our sister "WrappedUpInHisLove3" stated that she lied as a 5 year old about someone raping her. My question to her is .... how would a 5 year old lie about something like that? (In other words... I do not believe she lied at all.) A five year old child who's never been raped or exposed to sex wouldn't know to make such accusations. If a 5 year old makes such an accusation and then recants... I have to wonder who threatened her to be quiet. That's what I'm getting at.

I'm sorry if my words failed and you thought I said something I did not say.

PS... sis, please hear my heart here. I do not wish to force you to admit that you were assaulted as a 5 year old. But still .... I believe the little girl/you, whatever it is she needs to share. I can accept that you believe you lied. I'm sorry you've been through so much pain in your life.

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

am sorry for al those out there who have genuinely suffered sexual abuse. i really am. but God has forgiven me. my father suffered horribly from what i did to him, and that is sad but i cant change the past..... also God served justice on me by making it happen to me for real. well, almost happen. so i feel i have paid my dues, made my restitution, and now am crippled....so yeah i wont be sent to hell because i have had my punishment in this life....

nothing but rewards for me and "well done my god and faithful servant" in the next life. yahoo!

KayJoy · Jun 1, 2020

WrappedUpinHisLove3 said:
i wasnt raped. i lied about being raped..... i dont know why i did it....i was a confused messed uo child. i di not use the word rape. i said soemoen out somethign inside me, up my bum......becaus emy dad used to threaten to do that as a punishment if i acted up.... he was a violent man. so for some reason (i cant rememebr doing it) apparently my oparents tell m ei went round blurting it out and a schoolteacher got worried and assumed some kind of abuse must be occurring? i di dnot know why she was asking me questions about what my dad was supposedly doing so i gave answer that made snese to me...

it is ok- God is just and He disciplined me for it....because then i was sexually assualted for real. more than once. by different people,. not rape per se. more like assualt and molestation. no actual sex. sosmetimes it was vioelent. but it is ok....God was chastising me and rightly so, and i have earned my forgiveness

Wow, I'm sorry your father used such threats against you!! Sis, you weren't evil ... you were repeating something that was used in threat against you. I am sorry you did experience assaults. But (IMHO) it wasn't God punishing you.

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

KayJoy said:
PS... sis, please hear my heart here. I do not wish to force you to admit that you were assaulted as a 5 year old. But still .... I believe the little girl/you, whatever it is she needs to share. I can accept that you believe you lied. I'm sorry you've been through so much pain in your life.

well it wasnt a deliberate lie. 5 year olds cannot lie deliberately because they dont know difference betwen truth and lying, they havent reached the age of reason. but i know it tore our family apart and made my fathers violence and verbak abuse towards us worse. and i do feel some regret that my sister had to suffer so much becaus eof my bad behaviour.

but i cant change what happened. bizarrely enough my grandfather did try to sexually asualt me at age 3 and i have no memory of it but my sister does, he did it to her as well and it affected her. nothing bad like rape, more like molestation i guess. i have few memories of my life ass ayoung child so my sister and other people (parents, social services etc) had to fill my memories in.

also because of what i did, i was also punished very hasrshly by the police doctor who examined me and my mum who told me not to tell lies again.

so yeah, God took my punsihment. which is why i can say yeah i may have demons but my sins was paid for both on cross and also the chastisement i suffered at his hands.
like i said, am sorry it happened. buti ws young and di dnot know much about life.

KayJoy · Jun 1, 2020

WrappedUpinHisLove3 said:
am sorry for al those out there who have genuinely suffered sexual abuse. i really am. but God has forgiven me. my father suffered horribly from what i did to him, and that is sad but i cant change the past..... also God served justice on me by making it happen to me for real. well, almost happen. so i feel i have paid my dues, made my restitution, and now am crippled....so yeah i wont be sent to hell because i have had my punishment in this life....

nothing but rewards for me and "well done my god and faithful servant" in the next life. yahoo!

Were you assaulted as a child, after you made the accusation at age 5?
I wish you did not carry the weight, taking on responsibility for your father's suffering when he is the one who used those threats against you, his own daughter. I can't claim to know the details of your history... but from my own history and walking alongside many other trauma survivors, I recognize patterns.

Anyway.... just know I care ....you are valued and loved.

fwGod · Jun 1, 2020

WrappedUpinHisLove3 said:
i never said not being used in the spirit (which i am) has anythign to do with being good enough fo rgod...

I've already read of your divination background etc.. and your other personal acknowledgments so you can cease with your claiming that your knowing things comes from God, okay?

my issue is

that many churches have questioned whetehr am really saved orno becaus ei am disabled, physically and mentally. i cant walk due to a disease callad dystonia. i am often told i am in sin and goign to fry in hell because i am crippled. ok???

Odd that because there's no support in scripture for it.

i ave explanations of the words of knowledge i have had- this thread has never been me askign YOU to approve my gifts- i already KNOW i have that calling!!!

The more you claim it the more it conflicts with your admission of your romany divination background. Save yourself the time and effort in trying to convince me that you have what you know you don't.

i have been in prophetic ministry part time for 7 years. i do not need assurance of what i am doing, i alredy have that sorted!!

Oh, is that why your title of this thread is "Why am I getting this bizarre and creepy thing?"

what i asked was an evaluation of why i am getting a word about ETERNAL JUDGEMENT? Why am i being warne do feternal judgement when i thought christians dont ever get judged???

From what you've shared in your confession of the romany divination background.. and the way that people have made judgements against you all of your life.. then it's no wonder that your mind has the words 'eternal judgement' floating around in your head to get your attention.

chriatians do nt go to hell. th ebibl ei sclear on that one.

flase chriistians who believe their works of the law can save them yes?

Jesus spoke of a false prophet who tried to convince Jesus that since he did miraculous works that he should be accepted by Jesus.. but Jesus had discerning to know that the man spoke falsely.. it isn't the doing of good deeds that guarantee an eternity in heaven. Jesus pointed out the man's problem. That Jesus didn't know him. He hadn't come to Jesus to be saved. Therefore he was still lawless, still a sinner that was not saved by grace.

2 Timothy 2:19
"Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The LORD knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the LORD must turn away from wickedness (ie, lawlessness)."

The sinners are judged at the white throne judgement. While the believers are judged according to their good deeds at the bema seat.

Their good deeds that can only be done by relying entirely on God Himself to do those good works through them. He does the work, He gets the glory, we get the eternal rewards.

Their fruits are either wood, hay or stubble.. or of equivalent value of gold, silver or costly jewels.

those christians who believe only in the bloof jesus being their only qualification??? no.

Actually, yes. Without the blood there is no remission of sin.

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

KayJoy said:
Wow, I'm sorry your father used such threats against you!! Sis, you weren't evil ... you were repeating something that was used in threat against you. I am sorry you did experience assaults. But (IMHO) it wasn't God punishing you.

well he ment well. he was only doing it as a discipline. but yeah he had mood swings and used to enjoy hurting people. no one at church knew about it... my mum tried to divorce him but it was forbidden in their church.... and we were told we just had to be good and tsya out his way....i didnt want to be anywhere near him anyway. i never knew what mood he would be in..... nice or nasty....i always had trouble with God because my dad was a chritian and i hated God for many years.....i was very bitter....

KayJoy · Jun 1, 2020

WrappedUpinHisLove3 said:
well it wasnt a deliberate lie. 5 year olds cannot lie deliberately because they dont know difference betwen truth and lying, they havent reached the age of reason. but i know it tore our family apart and made my fathers violence and verbak abuse towards us worse. and i do feel some regret that my sister had to suffer so much becaus eof my bad behaviour.

but i cant change what happened. bizarrely enough my grandfather did try to sexually asualt me at age 3 and i have no memory of it but my sister does, he did it to her as well and it affected her. nothing bad like rape, more like molestation i guess. i have few memories of my life ass ayoung child so my sister and other people (parents, social services etc) had to fill my memories in.

also because of what i did, i was also punished very hasrshly by the police doctor who examined me and my mum who told me not to tell lies again.

so yeah, God took my punsihment. which is why i can say yeah i may have demons but my sins was paid for both on cross and also the chastisement i suffered at his hands.
like i said, am sorry it happened. buti ws young and di dnot know much about life.

If you don't mind my asking... what did the police doctor and your mum do to punish you?

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

KayJoy said:
Were you assaulted as a child, after you made the accusation at age 5?
I wish you did not carry the weight, taking on responsibility for your father's suffering when he is the one who used those threats against you, his own daughter. I can't claim to know the details of your history... but from my own history and walking alongside many other trauma survivors, I recognize patterns.

Anyway.... just know I care ....you are valued and loved.

yes at 10 years old 3 kids the same age as me lay in wait for me after school. wo of them were bullies th eother was my best friend.....that is the it that hurt. i was afraid of small spaces (i cant believe i was such a timid spineless little thing) and they told me i had to do things so hey wouldnt shut me in the stationary cupboard. thing slike taking my clothes off, underwear and stuff..... so i refused but they shut me in..i was panicking....i hate small spaces... then they let me out becaus ei promised them id' do it. intending to run away...... they got me, pinned ,me down...dont need to tell you the rest....they were only kids, just playing a game..... stupidly i let it upset me....my mum saw bruises etc and ripped clothes wen to report it...i was then told byt hte school i was a liar and a diffuclt child. i was angry for a long time that my mum said naything.......so embarassing, i wanted nobody to know.....i was told i was a flirt etc

now i look back na di think God wanted to maybe give me some real problems so i would stop lying about things.....so it was His way of sobering me. taking me down a peg or two. making me less proud.

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

KayJoy said:
If you don't mind my asking... what did the police doctor and your mum do to punish you?

they just were very rough with me- i was shaking. wasnt comforted.....treated very coldly... i know that doesnt sound like abig deal. certianly nothing compared to the things my dad used to do....but somehow i felt it was hurtful. i am very sensitive so minor incidents upset me easily.... i went to see a chriatina counsellor years ago who told me my hurts in life were very small and my childhood wasnt a big deal but i was more sensitivre than most and prone to self pity so i tended to se things as cruelty when it wasnt....

KayJoy · Jun 1, 2020

WrappedUpinHisLove3 said:
well he ment well. he was only doing it as a discipline. but yeah he had mood swings and used to enjoy hurting people. no one at church knew about it... my mum tried to divorce him but it was forbidden in their church.... and we were told we just had to be good and tsya out his way....i didnt want to be anywhere near him anyway. i never knew what mood he would be in..... nice or nasty....i always had trouble with God because my dad was a chritian and i hated God for many years.....i was very bitter....

Men who mean well, (especially Christian men) do not threaten to rape/sodomize their daughters for misbehaving (or for any reason). I'm sorry.... he was in the wrong, and completely wrong.

I'm glad you've been able to forgive him. By God's grace, and because of His amazing love to me, I also was able to forgive my father for his abuses to me. The Lord allowed me to witness to him and pray for him.... I prayed for him since I came to Christ at age 13, and God told me that my dad would come to Him. I prayed for him years.... and he accepted Christ 23 years later, a few months before he passed away. God is good... and He is merciful.

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

KayJoy said:
If you don't mind my asking... what did the police doctor and your mum do to punish you?

that is the problem. i just take smal things very personally. blow them up into seriosu traumas. my dad always used to sy it wa sbecause i was spoilt...too priveleged for my own good and never knew any real suffering......so he probably right. he did try to do things to toughen me up though to make me a bit stronger....to hsi credit he tried his best with me. some kids ar ejust born bad... and when i was 14 i was attacked by a stranger. i tried to sty quiet and limp so it would be over soon.....like my mum used to when my dad was laying into her.... at college i had a taxi driver insist on coming into my apartment. i had been in hospital after an overdose and was very tired and vulnerable. he kept persuading me to sleep with him even thoguh i wasnt interested. never been into men. i am not inlcined that way.... i dont want nay kidn of relationship, ever. becaus emarriageis slavery. if you a christina you cannot leave..so i just let him. he didnt force me but i ahted every minute.....he said i was shaking and thought it was weird....i jsut rememebr feelijng i wanted to be anywhere else.

you see a normal girl would have jsut shrugged it off and considered it a one night stand. i felt violated. which is stupid because it wasnt rape. he did nt force me.

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

KayJoy said:
Men who mean well, (especially Christian men) do not threaten to rape/sodomize their daughters for misbehaving (or for any reason). I'm sorry.... he was in the wrong, and completely wrong.

I'm glad you've been able to forgive him. By God's grace, and because of His amazing love to me, I also was able to forgive my father for his abuses to me. The Lord allowed my to witness to him and pray for him.... I prayed for him since I came to Christ at age 13, and told me that my dad would come to Him. I prayed for him years.... and he accepted Christ 23 years later, a few months before he passed away. God is good... and He is merciful.

it washarder fo rme to forgive him for using a knife on my sister... and the way he would scream t ehr he would kill her because she admitted to getting help for depression.... this is why i am firmily FOR psychology and am proud of taking medication ratehr than seeing an exorcist. it i smy way of saying "eff you, and your religion." i did manage to forgive him....it is God i never could forgive.....His rules about divorce etc and the fact that when i see God i see contempot in His face. Him telling me i am not really His....that am not accpetable to Him....He tells me He not interested when i try to tell Him abut how i feel my childhood has damaged me. He tells me i am snivelling in self pity and that others had it worse....i now He is right, but i find that ared pil kind of thing. hard to accept.

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

i do stil want Jesus. but i hate religion and all it stands for,.i hate that Jesus wouldnt let my mum do what she needed to protect herself...that is why am a feminst.....i suspect i am not going to be allowed into heaven for my views on feminism and psychology etc.....i been told i cannot be born again and be on medication or have the views i have about women

Michie · Jun 1, 2020

fwGod said:
I've already read of your divination background etc.. and your other personal acknowledgments so you can cease with your claiming that your knowing things comes from God, okay?
Odd that because there's no support in scripture for it.
The more you claim it the more it conflicts with your admission of your romany divination background. Save yourself the time and effort in trying to convince me that you have what you know you don't.
Oh, is that why your title of this thread is "Why am I getting this bizarre and creepy thing?"
From what you've shared in your confession of the romany divination background.. and the way that people have made judgements against you all of your life.. then it's no wonder that your mind has the words 'eternal judgement' floating around in your head to get your attention.

Jesus spoke of a false prophet who tried to convince Jesus that since he did miraculous works that he should be accepted by Jesus.. but Jesus had discerning to know that the man spoke falsely.. it isn't the doing of good deeds that guarantee an eternity in heaven. Jesus pointed out the man's problem. That Jesus didn't know him. He hadn't come to Jesus to be saved. Therefore he was still lawless, still a sinner that was not saved by grace.

2 Timothy 2:19
"Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The LORD knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the LORD must turn away from wickedness (ie, lawlessness)."

The sinners are judged at the white throne judgement. While the believers are judged according to their good deeds at the bema seat.

Their good deeds that can only be done by relying entirely on God Himself to do those good works through them. He does the work, He gets the glory, we get the eternal rewards.

Their fruits are either wood, hay or stubble.. or of equivalent value of gold, silver or costly jewels.
Actually, yes. Without the blood there is no remission of sin.

We are not supposed to belittle the person asking for advise or debate in the advise forum. I get the suspicion but I think this is starting to border into things we should not be doing.

KayJoy · Jun 1, 2020

WrappedUpinHisLove3 said:
i do stil want Jesus. but i hate religion and all it stands for,.i hate that Jesus wouldnt let my mum do what she needed to protect herself...that is why am a feminst.....i suspect i am not going to be allowed into heaven for my views on feminism and psychology etc.....i been told i cannot be born again and be on medication or have the views i have about women

That wasn't Jesus that told her she couldn't leave an abusive husband/father. That was men claiming to speak for God.... big difference. Men are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Your father did not obey God in how he treated his wife.

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

fwGod said:
I've already read of your divination background etc.. and your other personal acknowledgments so you can cease with your claiming that your knowing things comes from God, okay?
Odd that because there's no support in scripture for it.
The more you claim it the more it conflicts with your admission of your romany divination background. Save yourself the time and effort in trying to convince me that you have what you know you don't.
Oh, is that why your title of this thread is "Why am I getting this bizarre and creepy thing?"
From what you've shared in your confession of the romany divination background.. and the way that people have made judgements against you all of your life.. then it's no wonder that your mind has the words 'eternal judgement' floating around in your head to get your attention.

Jesus spoke of a false prophet who tried to convince Jesus that since he did miraculous works that he should be accepted by Jesus.. but Jesus had discerning to know that the man spoke falsely.. it isn't the doing of good deeds that guarantee an eternity in heaven. Jesus pointed out the man's problem. That Jesus didn't know him. He hadn't come to Jesus to be saved. Therefore he was still lawless, still a sinner that was not saved by grace.

2 Timothy 2:19
"Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The LORD knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the LORD must turn away from wickedness (ie, lawlessness)."

The sinners are judged at the white throne judgement. While the believers are judged according to their good deeds at the bema seat.

Their good deeds that can only be done by relying entirely on God Himself to do those good works through them. He does the work, He gets the glory, we get the eternal rewards.

Their fruits are either wood, hay or stubble.. or of equivalent value of gold, silver or costly jewels.
Actually, yes. Without the blood there is no remission of sin.

oh well i dont worry about going to hell. am goign to heaven. i been baptised in water and the holy spsirt and know Jesus. so yeah these thing ar ejust my mnetal illness, th ejudgement

i have neer used divination.

i have nevr used prophecy

i have not lied about anything. i was just mistaken. am still a growing believer, growin gin the faith. not mature yet. God understands. he ok with me....

KayJoy · Jun 1, 2020

WrappedUpinHisLove3 said:
they just were very rough with me- i was shaking. wasnt comforted.....treated very coldly... i know that doesnt sound like abig deal. certianly nothing compared to the things my dad used to do....but somehow i felt it was hurtful. i am very sensitive so minor incidents upset me easily.... i went to see a chriatina counsellor years ago who told me my hurts in life were very small and my childhood wasnt a big deal but i was more sensitivre than most and prone to self pity so i tended to se things as cruelty when it wasnt....

Wow, not a big deal?? I happen to disagree with that counselor.... I don't see you that way at all. What you experienced was very damaging. Goodness, a father is supposed to love and protect his children, not threaten and inflict pain.

Junia · Jun 1, 2020

KayJoy said:
That wasn't Jesus that told her she couldn't leave an abusive husband/father. That was men claiming to speak for God.... big difference. Men are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Your father did not obey God in how he treated his wife.

i guess am just sad my sister also had to suffer through what happened in our home.....she desrerved none of it.

and i do feel kind of shamed that they both suffered so much... qand i was the spoilt kid who acted up and made it worse.

what i reaally HATE and despise myself for... is that i was never grateful for the fact i was more forunate than they were. that my sufferings were tiny compare dto theirs.... and yet i was the messed up one? i feel i waste dso many years just getting sick because i felt sory for myself whilst in the same home as me were two people who were reall suffering....

that is something i can never forgive myself for. for stealing all the attention they needed and deserved because i felt entitled to it....

why am i getting this? bizarre and creepy

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