Who is this lady I should be looking for?

[bvwsmaker]

I just got an anniversary card from my wife today. It's our 15th wedding anniversary. The message inside the card reads: "You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry someone you can't live without." That says a lot. I don't know if I lived up to my end of the bargain, but it's something to go by when you ask yourself about marriage.

Thank you for sharing this in my thread! I'd rep you for it but I'm out until after midnight.

 

[bvwsmaker]

Really Captain?

Wait, which one were you? (That board seemed so long ago!)

 

[Tumbleweed64]

Really Captain?

 

[bvwsmaker]

Were you there too???

 

[catofhope]

Maybe I should try an internet romance, like Leader of the Banned & Greenthumb! Perhaps my lady to be is not even in my city!

Thoughts...

http://www.anchoredbygrace.com/smileys/mgyes.gif

 

[Tumbleweed64]

Were you there too???

Maybe...

 

[bvwsmaker]

Maybe...

I'm starting to feel like the Captain of Oblivious again.

 

[MMXII]

Wait, which one were you? (That board seemed so long ago!)

It was probably over a year ago.

 

[bvwsmaker]

I can only post 4 more smilies.

Maybe she's in a very unique state?????

 

[MMXII]

I can only post 4 more smilies.

Maybe she's in a very unique state?????

Why? You gonna nique up on her?

 

[bvwsmaker]

Why? You gonna nique up on her?

That's a rep-worthy post! But I'm all out for a while.

And, um, maybe.

 

[MMXII]

Sometimes I can lob them outta here.

 

[bvwsmaker]

Randy dear, I truly believe you are "marriage material" you just don't see it

Thanks.

But maybe there are plenty of red flags that would make someone go "wait a second". Perhaps we could start listing some "RED FLAGS" that would put into question the "marriability" of a person.

(Perhaps my list of my personal red flags are longer than many women here have for their next relationship. That's why sometimes I wonder if I'm too hard on myself, demanding more of myself than most women would.)

 

[MN John]

I'm back. I found this thread earlier today.

FWIW I did not even tell Randy till last week that I was she.
I registered the day before my grandmother passed away to ask for prayer.
I was not sure I was going to stick around.
When I moved I lost all my password and had changed my email accounts therefore the new id.

Hi new/old/continuing friend!

 

[catofhope]

Hi new/old/continuing friend!

Hi John

 

[MN John]

Hi John

This is kind of like when you call a business and are talking to the person on the phone and it turns out to be someone you know but you didn't know they worked there!

 

[catofhope]

But maybe there are plenty of red flags that would make someone go "wait a second". Perhaps we could start listing some "RED FLAGS" that would put into question the "marriability" of a person.

(Perhaps my list of my personal red flags are longer than many women here have for their next relationship. That's why sometimes I wonder if I'm too hard on myself, demanding more of myself than most women would.)

Yes, you are definately harder on yourself like I think most people are on themself.
The fact is we all have baggage of some sort - your red flags, I think.
The fact is for most people it is their issue not the other person's issue.
I am not saying they do not care but it does not matter to them the same way it does to you.
Randy

You know me I prefer to focus on the positive when possible.
So let's look at some of your good qualities from this single women's perspective.

You are a Christian striving to be the best you can.
You believe in the Bible for answers.
You are a nice guy.
You are never married.
You have no children.
You do not drink.
You do not smoke.
You have a good sense of humor.
Since you like Twila Paris you must have a decent taste in music. (I have her Warrior is a Child CD in my car)
You are easy to talk to and you listen.
You willingly joined in and supported me on a minstry project which I greatly appreciated.
We share an interest in movies.

I'll stop at a dozen.

 

[bvwsmaker]

Yes, you are definately harder on yourself like I think most people are on themself.
The fact is we all have baggage of some sort - your red flags, I think.
The fact is for most people it is their issue not the other person's issue.
I am not saying they do not care but it does not matter to them the same way it does to you.
Randy

The part above is probably what I'm most confused about. Should it matter more or should couples just go with the stars in their eyes phaze? Should "she" be concerned that I'm a slob? Should "she" be concerned that I've wrecked my credit because I was undisciplined in my spending (and use of credit cards)? Should "she" be concerned that there seem to be quite a few responsibilities that I seem to completely avoid? I think some of these bad habits are more than just baggage. I think. (Maybe we should get a better definition of what constitutes baggage. I was thinking baggage is mostly past dysfunctional relationships - family, friends, girlfriends, etc.)

You know me I prefer to focus on the positive when possible.
So let's look at some of your good qualities from this single women's perspective.

You are a Christian striving to be the best you can.
You believe in the Bible for answers.
You are a nice guy.
You are never married.
You have no children.
You do not drink.
You do not smoke.
You have a good sense of humor.
Since you like Twila Paris you must have a decent taste in music. (I have her Warrior is a Child CD in my car)
You are easy to talk to and you listen.
You willingly joined in and supported me on a minstry project which I greatly appreciated.
We share an interest in movies.

I'll stop at a dozen.

Thanks for sharing the positive! I'd blush more but I wanted to keep your four smilies intact!

Thanks for the addition to the thread also! Perhaps this will open up some lines of communications among us all of what makes us tick (and perhaps expose some of the misconceptions we're under as well).

 

[catofhope]

The part above is probably what I'm most confused about. Should it matter more or should couples just go with the stars in their eyes phaze? Should "she" be concerned that I'm a slob? Should "she" be concerned that I've wrecked my credit because I was undisciplined in my spending (and use of credit cards)? Should "she" be concerned that there seem to be quite a few responsibilities that I seem to completely avoid? I think some of these bad habits are more than just baggage. I think. (Maybe we should get a better definition of what constitutes baggage. I was thinking baggage is mostly past dysfunctional relationships - family, friends, girlfriends, etc.)

I do believe it is important to learn about each other.
You should know as much about each other as possible.
But you will never learn everything upfront.
Within a relationship people are always learning new things about each other.

Okay, I was not thinking of bad habits when I wrote about baggage.
While it is important to understand the other person including their habits - good and bad - most of them are not unsurmountable.

 

[catofhope]

Thanks for sharing the positive! I'd blush more but I wanted to keep your four smilies intact!

Thanks for the addition to the thread also! Perhaps this will open up some lines of communications among us all of what makes us tick (and perhaps expose some of the misconceptions we're under as well).

You're welcome on both fronts.

I will add that sharing concerns (preferably privately) should not be feared.
I've told you things I was fearful might drive you or any other guy away.
But you never flinched - you accepted it - it did not appear to be a big deal to you - even though I had been afraid of your reaction.
I suspect when you read this you may say - "what was that".