Who is this lady I should be looking for?

[bvwsmaker]

I don't think I have the gift of celibacy! But there's times when I wonder if I want to get married (since that would be the only way)! Or I feel I'm in a "I do but I don't" type treadmill.

First, I guess I struggle with the "who would ever want to marry me"! syndrome. (Well, I know a few but those desparate women really turn me off (or make me run away very, very fast!).) I know I'm not tall, dark & handsome. More like short, pale and a nice shy guy.

Second, I think my temperment might be a little picky! (We recently studied the four temperments and the book said that meloncholics were most likely to be in the never married category. And here I thought it was just me! My other half is phlegmatic. We're good at observing life rather than living it.)

I don't think I'm that picky. Sure, I prefer that she's never been married also. I prefer that she doesn't have children (I'm not sure I'm ready to be an instant step-father.) I prefer that she didn't outweigh me (which leaves a lot of room since I'm just under 200 lbs.). I'd prefer that she isn't too much taller than me (I'm 5'6" - it's just kind of awkward). But most of these are preferences, not absolutes.

I don't think I could marry a smoker at all. Or a heavy drinker either. (Occasional drinker is fine, as long as she doesn't mind me not drinking.)

I'll have to think about what else. Because I do think I'd like to start dating again soon - at least within 5 years! (Not that I have much experience at it.)

So there it is. What I originally intended to write until I got that phone call that I posted in "What should I do?"

All thoughts welcome.

 

[MMXII]

I think if you are wondering if you want to gets married suggests to me that you aren't ready to get married.

If God has someone for you, He'll make her known to you.

Don't put a lot of physical limitations on things either...we don't look like we're 18 anymore at this age.

 

[Heart of a Seeker]

Don't put a lot of physical limitations on things either...we don't look like we're 18 anymore at this age.

Love that! That's for sure!

 

[porterross]

You sound like my fella with the "Who would want to marry me?" and I tell you, he is the most wonderful man on all levels that I'm sure I don't deserve him. Yet God brought us together and continues to make His presence and blessing known on the match so there you go.

He's over 50, BTW, so don't think it's ever too late or that there is no woman who might appreciate you. You just never know where she might be.

 

[bvwsmaker]

I think if you are wondering if you want to gets married suggests to me that you aren't ready to get married.

If God has someone for you, He'll make her known to you.

Don't put a lot of physical limitations on things either...we don't look like we're 18 anymore at this age.

So then how do you know when you're "marriable"? (Maybe I am but I don't know that I am because I'm unsure of what the qualifications currently are.)

It might take her hitting me over the head with a club before I went "Hey, who is that girl???"

And I'd feel insecure with those that did look like they were still 18!

 

[bvwsmaker]

You sound like my fella with the "Who would want to marry me?" and I tell you, he is the most wonderful man on all levels that I'm sure I don't deserve him. Yet God brought us together and continues to make His presence and blessing known on the match so there you go.

He's over 50, BTW, so don't think it's ever too late or that there is no woman who might appreciate you. You just never know where she might be.

I guess my real fear is getting stuck with the wrong one! That's why I'm very cautious in my choices to ask out.

But I'm figuring 8 years is a long time without asking anyone out. So part of this is me getting up the courage to ask! I just don't know who yet?

 

[country woman]

I guess I am in the same boat as you are too. Who will ever marry me. I am only 5'6". I have a 21 year old daughter living with me.I also have a noticeable limp.
I am kind of shy at first. I don't smoke or drink that much.

 

[Tumbleweed64]

I believe, that if it is God's will, and the time is come, you will know without a doubt, for your heart will tell you so...

 

[NorwayUnn]

to that, Tw. May the Lord bless all those who desire to get married. He knows your heart's desire indeed. I guess I can not come up with some real good advice except ''bring it to God in prayer''.

 

[jane1]

hmmm... I've always wanted to get married but hasn't gone that way for me --- yet.

When I was an unbeliever it was easy to date because I didn't have a "faith requirement" -- ha ha ! Now it is much harder to meet appropriate men .

Meeting people in general is easy (just smile, say hello)but meeting believers is not ... waaah ! I have a wide range of interests from target and skeet shooting to reading, baking and hiking etc...
I just have a hard time meeting believers that share some of my interests.

oops -- what was this thread about ???

 

[bvwsmaker]

hmmm... I've always wanted to get married but hasn't gone that way for me --- yet.

When I was an unbeliever it was easy to date because I didn't have a "faith requirement" -- ha ha ! Now it is much harder to meet appropriate men .

Meeting people in general is easy (just smile, say hello)but meeting believers is not ... waaah ! I have a wide range of interests from target and skeet shooting to reading, baking and hiking etc...
I just have a hard time meeting believers that share some of my interests.

oops -- what was this thread about ???

What makes it hard to meet "eligible" believers in your area?

 

[MMXII]

So then how do you know when you're "marriable"? (Maybe I am but I don't know that I am because I'm unsure of what the qualifications currently are.)

It might take her hitting me over the head with a club before I went "Hey, who is that girl???"

And I'd feel insecure with those that did look like they were still 18!

I think when you are ready to marry you'll know it in your knower. You won't second guess yourself.

Ha! I say that God will have to plop him in my lap for me to notice.

 

[mesue]

You need to be content in your singleness before you can be content in a coupleness.
That was a hard lesson for me to learn, and accept. But now I'm married to a wonderful man.
Don't discount women that have children. People our age are grandparent material. Most kids are probably not living at home anymore.

 

[bvwsmaker]

You need to be content in your singleness before you can be content in a coupleness.
That was a hard lesson for me to learn, and accept. But now I'm married to a wonderful man.
Don't discount women that have children. People our age are grandparent material. Most kids are probably not living at home anymore.

I have friends that would tell you that I'm too content with my singleness. It's usually only when they bring it up that they make me feel I'm missing out! (Otherwise, it tends to be out of sight, out of mind.)

I don't discount single mothers, I just prefer them not to have children. It's not a demand since I am realistic about what age we'd be. (And I have a younger brother who's a grandfather.)

The funny thing is, I know at least a dozen women in their forties in my fellowship that have never been married (with no children too)! But I don't feel like I'm "marriable" material for any of them.

 

[mesue]

I have friends that would tell you that I'm too content with my singleness. It's usually only when they bring it up that they make me feel I'm missing out! (Otherwise, it tends to be out of sight, out of mind.)

I don't discount single mothers, I just prefer them not to have children. It's not a demand since I am realistic about what age we'd be. (And I have a younger brother who's a grandfather.)

The funny thing is, I know at least a dozen women in their forties in my fellowship that have never been married (with no children too)! But I don't feel like I'm "marriable" material for any of them.

Do you want to be marriable material for them? Or are they not the ones you spoke of in your OP?

 

[bvwsmaker]

Do you want to be marriable material for them? Or are they not the ones you spoke of in your OP?

Many of them are well within my preferences! I'm not sure I'm within many of their preferences!!!

I still count many of them as friends. But as our church keeps expanding I'm losing touch with many of them. Plus we don't officially have a singles ministry (just our unofficial struggling one). The demand for one seems to be there but everyone asking for one is too busy to put in the "hours" to run a singles ministry.

 

[bvwsmaker]

Maybe I should try an internet romance, like Leader of the Banned & Greenthumb! Perhaps my lady to be is not even in my city!

Thoughts...

 

[MMXII]

Maybe I should try an internet romance, like Leader of the Banned & Greenthumb! Perhaps my lady to be is not even in my city!

Thoughts...

Be careful. It is hard to nearly impossible to carry on a good relationship on the phone or on the 'net. There are a few exceptions found here on CF. But for every good relationship, how many have gone sour. I know one. Witness.

 

[bvwsmaker]

Be careful. It is hard to nearly impossible to carry on a good relationship on the phone or on the 'net. There are a few exceptions found here on CF. But for every good relationship, how many have gone sour. I know one. Witness.

But you two are still friends, right?

I wish Maggie would come back. (I think she did hit me over the head with a frying pan!)

 

[MMXII]

Oh yeah, we are great friends, and we always will be.

I miss Maggie too. Ever hear from her?