who doesn't?

[clycleader]

You know, I've had people ask me if I had kids (before I had one) and I had gotten hurt feelings, feeling that they were judging. That's not a good feeling. Sometimes they were being critical or asking for the wrong reasons. Sometimes people were just making small talk. If I had just met someone and we were getting to know each other and talking, it's a natural question to ask if someone is married or if they have kids or where they work/live etc. I think sometimes they just don't realize that for some people, it's a touchy subject.
I know I've asked someone and then later learned that they were having trouble having kids. I had no idea and felt really bad. I was just trying to have conversation though.

 

[Rebekka]

My husband and I don't have kids; he's 40 and I'm 30. People ask us all the time whether we have kids, and when we say no they often ask us why not, or they ask us: "don't you want them, then?" (The answer in our case is "no we don't" - it would indeed be more painful if we wanted them but couldn't have them.)

I think this is pretty personal, especially since often there is indeed judging involved. Yes, people want to make smalltalk, which is fine (although I've never been good at it), but most of the time I don't like this question - it depends on the tone of voice, and whether this question is followed by other remarks meant to convince you that having kids is the greates thing in the world.

At least before I got married no one asked me this question. I never ask others if or why they do or don't have kids - I don't want to make people uncomfortable, and people who do have kids will always mention them in the conversation at some point anyway. All I have to do is wait.

 

[JPPT1974]

It is really God's decision and will
Whether we should have kids or not!

 

[Brother Jason]

I have 6 and I get some pretty strange looks myself! We were sitting in Ryans steak house when we lived in South Carolina and I overheard a little boy sitting across from us with his parents with a real deep southern accent "he must have a good job!"

 

[llghoney]

I have 6 and I get some pretty strange looks myself! We were sitting in Ryans steak house when we lived in South Carolina and I overheard a little boy sitting across from us with his parents with a real deep southern accent "he must have a good job!"

 

[JPPT1974]

I have 6 and I get some pretty strange looks myself! We were sitting in Ryans steak house when we lived in South Carolina and I overheard a little boy sitting across from us with his parents with a real deep southern accent "he must have a good job!"

Bless your heart my friend!

 

[JPPT1974]

Six kids is a lot as my sister
And brother...NOW DON'T LAUGH
Have twin sons each!
Really I am not joking as that may
Run in the family!