Who Am I to Judge?

[DiscipleOfIAm]

I have found myself not wanting to attend a certain church because of who goes there. Long story short, I grew up in the town I now live in. When I graduated high school, I entered the military. I did not return to this area until 10 years later. Now, I find myself a different person than when I lived here. I see people I grew up with and see them in church. I think, what a hypocrite! They should be the last person leading a children's service or being involved in church.

But, who am I to judge? I'm not the same person, maybe they aren't either. I sometimes find myself avoiding certain public functions because I do not want to see someone I grew up with. Sometimes due to my appearance (I am quite different looking after 10 years of marriage and three kids than I was in high school), other times because of the person or persons that will be there, too.

I've even told my wife, I'd rather move somewhere where no one knows me. I think I could be more myself somewhere else than here. She isn't from here, so she doesn't relate. She is new to everyone!

Does anyone else ever struggle with this?

 

[daveleau]

In my college town, I knew many from my church before I started attending there, and I too had a different view of them. The admin assistant of the pastor was one of them, and I had known her to be a gossip and very manipulative. Yet, she was at the core of the church. It kept my mom from attending that church, which was the only church in the local area that held similar beliefs to what we were used to.

I got over it. I went, realized I myself was not perfect, neither was anyone else there. The church is not for those that are perfect, but for those who are in need of growth. The same goes for the leaders. Leaders are not perfect either.

Luk 5:31 Jesus answered them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.
Luk 5:32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

So, my only advice would be to try to erradicate those feelings from yourself. Try to move on, and go to church to grow.

Thank you for your service. I appreciate each and every person that has served in the military in preservation of our freedoms.

In Christ,
Dave

 

[DiscipleOfIAm]

I have several folks that I am struggling with this with. One, for example, is the children's pastor at a local church. This guy and I played football together. He was a bully, name-caller, foul mouthed, etc. He is the children's pastor at the church he grew up in, so either he has changed a bunch or he had two sides. One side at school, another outside of school at church. This is just one example. It isn't a church I would attend, not because of him, because it is a Nazarene church. Not my beliefs.

Anyway, I'm working on it!

 

[arunma]

I have precisely the same issue, but on a smaller scale. I did not grow up in the church, so when I became a Christian in college, I did not know anyone, and so the sin of judging others was not a particularly difficult problem to me. But last year, one of my old friends from high school became a Christian. Now, this person's ungodly behavior used to run the gamut from blasphemy to sexual immorality (and hypocrite that I am, I used to partake with him in virtually all of these sins except for the sexual immorality). When he became a believer, I was very tempted to judge him on the basis of his past sins. The issue was further compounded for me by the fact that after becoming a Christian, he did not turn from these sins right away. Moreover, in the past few months, he has begun to fall away. How tempting it is to judge him as an unbeliever! Needless to say, I have spent a good deal of time in prayer that God would let me overcome my desire to judge.

 

[Gentle]

I have found myself not wanting to attend a certain church because of who goes there. Long story short, I grew up in the town I now live in. When I graduated high school, I entered the military. I did not return to this area until 10 years later. Now, I find myself a different person than when I lived here. I see people I grew up with and see them in church. I think, what a hypocrite! They should be the last person leading a children's service or being involved in church.

But, who am I to judge? I'm not the same person, maybe they aren't either. I sometimes find myself avoiding certain public functions because I do not want to see someone I grew up with. Sometimes due to my appearance (I am quite different looking after 10 years of marriage and three kids than I was in high school), other times because of the person or persons that will be there, too.

I've even told my wife, I'd rather move somewhere where no one knows me. I think I could be more myself somewhere else than here. She isn't from here, so she doesn't relate. She is new to everyone!

Does anyone else ever struggle with this?

Ya, I don't think you are being judgemental per say. Yes you could just be a better person and above it like the rest of us. But I did the same thing sorta in that when I stared going back to church after 20 years so I decided my home town would be a comfort factor.(I was very timid about going back to church)
but yeah, it's been a huge mistake b/c I b/c friends with the Minister, I really like him and have gotten close.
At the same time I don't like being where I remember every face, all the memories ect
I think I have one advantage on you in that I can accept the people and not judge them though b/c...well b/c of who I am. Small towns are hard anyways bc u know everyone but everyone there knows me as the crazy, messed up, loud, hippy sorta deal so it's me thats ackward there.
I did move from my hometown too and while it took me awhile to get used to it, I live in such a better world/reality now.
It's like a whole new start although people here will catch on soon enough lol I guess my judgemental aspect comes in when I think 'how can that idiot be teaching kids, he couldn't tie his shoes till grade 7' lol which is worse and so superficial on my part
good luck bro
peace
Gentle

 

[ctay]

My problem is in the church I go to, I got put on a commitee to help with outreach. The lady that got voted in won't say hardly anything to me. If we do talk I'm the one that says the first word. There's been times she's walked right past me with her head turned the other way. The best way I figured how to deal with this is maybe ask to get put on another commitee doing something else and just keep talking to her and hope she'll come around, I don't know what I've done wrong. I figured there would be always a few of these in any church. Your supposed to go to church to worship God, I try not to judge other people, I can forgive people pretty quick if something does happen.

 

[sgrimsley]

I can relate completely... I have so much trouble going back home to see my family... I eloped with my husband and moved 500 miles away. God led us to each other in a horrible point in our lives, and He helped us save each other and bring us back to Him. Now, only two years later, I am in agony visiting my family because everyone still views me as the outgoing party girl I once was. My sisters feel like they don't know me because everything I once believed in is now inconsequential. I love my church family here, and though I still love my friends and family back home, I have so much trouble seeing them without them bringing up things from the past that I've tried relentlessly to forget. I have one friend in particular who can't understand why I don't want to engage in conversations of "the good old times" that really seem now so horrible. I'm not judging these people, nor do I believe that I am better than them, but I do know that I'm now on the right path. So I guess I relate to the people who have changed rather than the people who remember me for my past experiences. It hurts and causes agony in the soul, so I would suggest praying very hard, and giving people the benefit of the doubt that Christ has changed their lives, because He does. And you should be embracing them rather than viewing them with skepticism. It will make their transition into a Christ-like life so much easier and more beneficial.

 

[JPPT1974]

A person who I used to work with
Was a boss and she was a bully and just
Really a jerk as she also is a children's church
Worker though she isn't from my church and I am
Glad that she isn't or I would have some not nice
Words to say to her myself.
She really treats her workers badly, kind of has a Dr Jeckell and Mr Hyde personality.

 

[jsimms615]

I have found myself not wanting to attend a certain church because of who goes there. Long story short, I grew up in the town I now live in. When I graduated high school, I entered the military. I did not return to this area until 10 years later. Now, I find myself a different person than when I lived here. I see people I grew up with and see them in church. I think, what a hypocrite! They should be the last person leading a children's service or being involved in church.

But, who am I to judge? I'm not the same person, maybe they aren't either. I sometimes find myself avoiding certain public functions because I do not want to see someone I grew up with. Sometimes due to my appearance (I am quite different looking after 10 years of marriage and three kids than I was in high school), other times because of the person or persons that will be there, too.

I've even told my wife, I'd rather move somewhere where no one knows me. I think I could be more myself somewhere else than here. She isn't from here, so she doesn't relate. She is new to everyone!

Does anyone else ever struggle with this?

Yes, I had the same problem when I grew up in a town in Texas. Everyone there knew each other since they were little children. I got saved when I was about 16 and changed a lot on the inside.
Your right that it isn't your place to judge is someone who lived a rough life is now in church or teach a class. God can do a lot in a person's life in 10 years. Sometimes he can do a whole lot in a lot less time than that. I know in my life just a few years after I was saved you could see a big difference in my life. I was never a partier or did anything wild, but you could still see a difference.
J

 

[ellisb2]

Anywhere you go if you stay long enough you will have this problem. I think it's easer to look at it like this, we all have our own walk with God. We don't have the right to think that what someone else is doing inside the church or out. We should just worry about ourselves, we all have our own problems.

 

[£amb]

I have found myself not wanting to attend a certain church because of who goes there. Long story short, I grew up in the town I now live in. When I graduated high school, I entered the military. I did not return to this area until 10 years later. Now, I find myself a different person than when I lived here. I see people I grew up with and see them in church. I think, what a hypocrite! They should be the last person leading a children's service or being involved in church.

But, who am I to judge? I'm not the same person, maybe they aren't either. I sometimes find myself avoiding certain public functions because I do not want to see someone I grew up with. Sometimes due to my appearance (I am quite different looking after 10 years of marriage and three kids than I was in high school), other times because of the person or persons that will be there, too.

I've even told my wife, I'd rather move somewhere where no one knows me. I think I could be more myself somewhere else than here. She isn't from here, so she doesn't relate. She is new to everyone!

Does anyone else ever struggle with this?

I had this problem this past Fall. The new youth pastor was a guy I grew up with. He was just a plain jerk, and we had our moments of confrontations. This was 20 something years ago. He has since gone to seminary and has been involved with several churches until he came back to our church. I was angry that the church voted him in. I was thinking if they only knew what he was like when he was a teenager.

But I had to stop. I realized that he did change and it was because of God. I was the one holding onto all these emotions and using them to justify why I didn't like him. I had to let go of the past, and see the man that God has molded him to be. He is a great minister and really is working with the youth.

I see many people within my church that I grew up with, and have to be very careful not to judge their walk with God just because of something they did in the past. Who's to say that God isn't working in their lives and changing their hearts and minds. Maybe I'm the one that God needs to change and not them.

 

[JPPT1974]

Judging belongs to the Lord and
Not to us as we shouldn't make judgement
Or question how people are
We may not know another story behind
Their behavior you know.