I think lying in general is wrong, but we don't live in General, we live in the real world.
White lies sometimes are more tactful and kind than telling the truth.
For instance, say you're late for an appointment because your spouse/roommate/parent/friend suddenly just was in a bad mood and wanted to start a fight, just as you are leaving the door. Would it better to say, "Sorry I'm late, my spouse was being annoying" or "Sorry I'm late, I lost track of time".
Rygel said:
Well, in the "Ten Commandments" it says, "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."
I think that means something more along the lines of malicious slander or perjury, as opposed to a so called, "white" lie.
That's quite true: Telling a lie to get someone else in trouble, or to benifit yourself, really is wrong. Take the good old shopping-with-a-friend dilemna: Your friend asks how an outfit looks, and it looks terrible-wrong colour, wrong size, wrong fit, wrong everything, but your friend loves it. What do you do? Say "You outfit looks like a red garbage back on you" or "Hmm, perhaps an A-line version would work better, in a slightly darker red"?
riena23 said:
I try to stay honest always. White lies bother me, especially when my mom does it. It isn't harmful when she does it, but she does it constantly like she is trying to spare me from the truth. I can't stand that, I'd always rather have the truth.
Well, say you're on the way out the door for an appointment, and your parent is in a bad mood and starts harping on you, not letting you leave until they've vented it all. Once you get to your appointment, would you rather say "Sorry I'm late, my parent was being annoying" or "Sorry I'm late, I lost track of time".
loriersea said:
I see nothing wrong with white lies. Most of the time, when I tell a white lie, it's because I know my own honest reaction is wrong, anyway. For example, if someone gets me a Christmas present that I really can't stand, and they ask me if I like it, I'll say I do. The fact is, I should like their present. It was a nice thought to get it for me, and just because it's a sweater that's not my style doesn't matter, and me thinking it does is just me putting too much value on external appearances.
I think that in this case, what you are saying is quite true. If someone knits you a neon green scarf, they put some effort into it and really worked hard on it. To say "Ewww" would just be rude. But it still is a good scarf, so why not wear it in the car, or while going for a walk? It still is a functional scarf...there's no reason to hate it.
On the other hand, if what someone buys you a Rudolf sweater a size too big or too small, it might be better to be honest and ask where they bought it so you can exchange it for the right size, and wear it around the house during the holiday
The Seeker said:
Lying isn't always wrong, but it is better to know the truth, more often than not, IMO. If you don't know what's really going on, how can you fix your problems?
Very true! If you're planning a big family Christmas or other holiday, and you end up not getting that bonus you thought you'd get or your paycheque has an unexpected deduction on it, it would be better to say to your family "It looks like we're going to have to value the fun and time together, and work on getting smaller, more meaningful gifts" than going into debt and getting into big trouble, so that the whole family can know what is going on and scale back (with exception, of course, of the little kids, who shouldn't have to hear "Santa is skipping our house this year" but instead "Santa is getting gifts you really like rather than tons of stuff that just get boring after a day or two")
Lying to be tactful or kind is fine in small doses when done carefully. Lying to get yourself out of trouble, to hurt someone, or when there may be any negative effect at all in the future is just destructive.
