Whiny one year old.

[keirasmommy]

My thirteen month old is all smiles when she's with her grandma during the day but when she's with my husband and I, all she does is whine and throw temper tantrums. I feel like I am being manipulated and controlled by a screaming baby. I can't get anything done when she's around and my husband and I arn't allowed to talk to each other because she gets jealous and starts screaming.

How can I take control of the atmosphere in my home? I feel like I'm walking on pins and needles with her around.

 

[lucypevensie]

You mean the world does not revolve around thirteen-month old little girls?

I know that stage is frustrating. They don't know how to talk yet, and crying is what they still do best, and yes, they do think the world revolves around them.

I guess the short answer is to stop giving in to her every whim. You say she does not allow you and your husband a chance to talk? heh heh She needs to know that you are not interested in her permission.

There are so many different ways parents deal with tantrums. For us a firm "NO" and a quick couple swats on the backside got the point across well most of the time. Other times it's best place her in a different room of the house where she is welcome to scream at herself as much as she would like.

Right now her tantrums and whining gets her what she wants so she'd not going to stop doing it. Instead of the possitive results she's been getting she needs to start getting negative results, in the form of swats, or alone-time, or whatever other suggestions you'll get here.

Edited to add: As far as not getting anything done, I know that gets frustrating too. I know she's only thirteen months but soon she will be able to do a little helping around the house. try to utilize those clingy times to show her how to dust the chair, or sweep with a broom. Like, instead of trying to get her out of the kitchen while you cook give her a pot and wodden spoon and let her cook too. Or something.....Just an idea....

 

[MERCY@GRACE]

Sounds like she's getting spoiled at G'MAS house and is resisting being disciplined! Is she there alot? If G'ma is providing daycare it may be a hard transition from going back and forth. I have 5, and they all started to act that way at about 15-18mo. Just lay down the law so they know who's boss and always be consistent! Put her in her crib as a time out if she gets outta hand. Sometimes they actually calm down when they are alone and see they don't have an audience

 

[murron]

I agree, it sounds like this is coming from Grama's house. Time to talk to Grama and find out how she handles the day with your daughter. I just bet you'll find out that grama is holding her a lot and running to respond to the first cry, giving in to what the 13 month old wants. In grama's defense though - that IS what Grama's get to do, they raised their kids and now get to spoil yours, lol. If that's what is going on you really only have two choices, insist Grama stop (and risk hurting her feelings) or find another place for the child to be during the day (assuming this is a regular thing with Grama baby sitting during the day). Good luck.

 

[BeanMak]

Another view- she is missing you and your husband after being gone all day from you. She has had Grandma's attention, but now would love some time with her parents.
If you are like most families, you have had a busy day at work, rush to pick up the baby, stop by the store for a couple of things, stop at the post office, and now have to get dinner on the table, and a few other chores done before bedtime. Get the baby to bed, and finally settle down for the news to drop off to sleep and then start all over again.
She will only be little for a short time. Try a break in the routine, give her 15 minutes of your undivided attention when you first get home, read a story, play with dolls, ruff house a little (this could be a daddy time) no matter how tired or rushed. Then bring her in the kitchen, give her a pot and spoon so she can help while you make dinner. All sit down as a family give thanks that you are together.
Good luck and God's blessing on your family.

 

[yeshuaskid]

You mean the world does not revolve around thirteen-month old little girls?

I was thinking the same thing...

I know that stage is frustrating.

That's putting it mildly...

I guess the short answer is to stop giving in to her every whim. You say she does not allow you and your husband a chance to talk? heh heh She needs to know that you are not interested in her permission.

This was hard for my husband and I, too. My 16mth old wouldn't even let us hold hands...

There are so many different ways parents deal with tantrums. For us a firm "NO" and a quick couple swats on the backside got the point across well most of the time. Other times it's best place her in a different room of the house where she is welcome to scream at herself as much as she would like.

Exactly what we are doing.

Right now her tantrums and whining gets her what she wants so she'd not going to stop doing it. Instead of the possitive results she's been getting she needs to start getting negative results, in the form of swats, or alone-time, or whatever other suggestions you'll get here.

I've got to agree with you on this one. Every time our toddler drops to the floor in a tantrum...we give her a swat. This happens all day long, sometimes. If she just can't get control, we put her in her room. It's been said that this helps children to learn to control their feelings. I'm not sure but, it's working with my daughter. She's been in a biting faze for eight or nine months which just exasperated the situation.

I know she's only thirteen months but soon she will be able to do a little helping around the house.

It's true. My toddler is learning new things every day and they really do like to feel like they are important. Hang in there...it's going to get easier. We'll all be praying for you.

God Bless...