so I'll just try to get the stuff thats going on in my mind together...maybe one of you can help me....
so there was a time when I tried to really follow God and do it right. Well...something went wrong..I couldn't deal with
all the pressure anymore, I really pushed myself.. like
imagine you've read like a million devotions, stuff in the bible
and just try to live it.
I always 'told myself' like thats how life works......
which is sure true.
Then..being like scared of ANY must, I kept telling myself God would love me whatever I did and that would be enough.
Recently I just couldn't believe that anymore and all the peace and everything went. I realize that my life doesn't work so well anymore in many aspects, some things got better.
I try to see it more like I'm just walking 'around' with God and I am
like forwarding any responsabilities and pressure to him.
There was this devotion about our walk with God being like a (tandem) bike ride.....that one has helped me soooooooo
much..its just that I 'jump off' way too often and feel like
messing up so much.
Its just I am trying to do stuff out of love to God....I dunno if I can ever do it because of responsabilty or being afraid of what happens when I don't again (I used to do that a lot)
right I dunno what exactly my problem is.......it just felt kinda good to write it down

so God Bless you and have an awesome day everyone !!