I suffered from depression for 30 years. Being stuck in that "black hole" was a living hell. Anxiety and other "bonus" tormenters appeared along the way, but it was the isolation that was the most bothersome.
When people think of death, they think of nothingness or eternal sleep. Death is isolation, my friend, & suicide, I believe, would ensure that your isolation would last forever. I used to tell people, "I don't wish that I was dead, I just wish I had never been born. Life isn't worth living."
If your suffering led you to Christianity, every day you suffered will be worth its weight in gold. To have that piano off your back & to feel alive again makes it all worth while--& just because you can't sense anyone's presence doesn't mean that you are alone. At this very moment, there are dozens, if not hundreds of people praying for you with the power of the Holy Spirit.
Jesus says, "Whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Luke 9:34).
The Apostle Paul, an accomplished and devout Pharisee, did not begin to really live until he abandoned his former life and followed Jesus.
For me, my selfish desires prevented me from discovering this new life until my old life fell apart. Like you, I was on the brink of suicide. I cried out, "Jesus, take my life or I will!" At that moment, Jesus appeared and told me that I had built so many walls around myself that not even he could come in. After that, the walls fell, & he was gone. The Holy Spirit now is my teacher & leader of my life--when I let him.
I will pray for you on your faith journey. For Christians, this life is the only "hell" they will ever know.
Shalom, my friend. You are not alone.
When people think of death, they think of nothingness or eternal sleep. Death is isolation, my friend, & suicide, I believe, would ensure that your isolation would last forever. I used to tell people, "I don't wish that I was dead, I just wish I had never been born. Life isn't worth living."
If your suffering led you to Christianity, every day you suffered will be worth its weight in gold. To have that piano off your back & to feel alive again makes it all worth while--& just because you can't sense anyone's presence doesn't mean that you are alone. At this very moment, there are dozens, if not hundreds of people praying for you with the power of the Holy Spirit.
Jesus says, "Whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Luke 9:34).
The Apostle Paul, an accomplished and devout Pharisee, did not begin to really live until he abandoned his former life and followed Jesus.
For me, my selfish desires prevented me from discovering this new life until my old life fell apart. Like you, I was on the brink of suicide. I cried out, "Jesus, take my life or I will!" At that moment, Jesus appeared and told me that I had built so many walls around myself that not even he could come in. After that, the walls fell, & he was gone. The Holy Spirit now is my teacher & leader of my life--when I let him.
I will pray for you on your faith journey. For Christians, this life is the only "hell" they will ever know.
Shalom, my friend. You are not alone.
Upvote
0
