Where does this go?

[Raanan]

So here I am, posting on a forums where I had decided I didn't want to frequent anymore. I don't know why. Why I decided to stop frequenting here or why I decided to post this. Maybe it's hope one of you will give me the answers I seek. Maybe it's because this is the only place I could think was available to me to vent. I don't know. I just don't know.

There-in is really what's on my mind tonight... well, pretty much every night. I don't know. I don't know what I want but at the same time I do. I know I want to feel, be passionate, not just taste life at its fullest but drink it like a man who just came out of a desert and had no water. But what does that mean? Where are the specifics? I feel and am passionate thanks to my Jesus but how does that translate to this world? Where do I go? What do I fight for? Who do I partner with? I know what I want but at the same time, I don't. Vagueness and heart understanding... where do I put my feet next? Am I pointing the right direction to go forward? I don't know.

So many questions, so little answers. My nightly roar of frustration is, "I DON'T KNOW!"

 

[ajuran]

i can understand how you feel, really. i often have the same questions. and it goes on and on in a circle. the only way out for me, is to talk to jesus. every single time i came with a question whatsoever, he answers me. he gives my hope, strength, a future. he knows who i´am and why. he knows what i´m looking, dreaming and longing for. and therefore i´m thankful.

 

[TriptychR]

It's a tough and frustrating struggle. I know I certainly have to deal with it.

Oddly enough, I just came back from Kingdom Bound, a Christian festival in New York, and Peter Furler of the Newsboys talked about how he struggled with the same exact questions while growing up, and he was a Pastor's Kid! Like ajuran above me noted, he also said that we need to just ask Him to reveal these mysteries to us. He also said that fellowship was one of the answers he found; Christians holding each other accountable and helping each other through the hard times. A tightly woven net can capture many more things, was the analogy he used.

Don't feel ashamed or alone. We all deal with these questions, but dealing with them together is going to be a lot better than trying to find the answers ourselves in our own minds. Things have a way of getting twisted and overblown in there.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

Oddly enough, I just came back from Kingdom Bound, a Christian festival in New York, and Peter Furler of the Newsboys talked about how he struggled with the same exact questions while growing up, and he was a Pastor's Kid!

[threadjack]How was Kingdom Bound? I wanted to go this year, but I couldn't get the time off. [/threadjack]

As for the thread, I can relate 'cause I still don't know.

 

[klewlis]

The best way to find out what you're supposed to be doing is just to start doing something. Volunteer. Donate your time to your church. It really doesn't matter WHAT you do as long as you do something. In the process you will discover where you fit and where you don't, where your gifts are best used, what you most enjoy, etc. When you find the perfect venue you will know.

 

[Raanan]

Thanks all for your replies. Makes me feel somewhat better even though I'm still mostly clueless

Ajuran, your right and I do talk to Jesus, daily. He's why I will always have the strength, hope, desire, etc to move on even when I feel like poo. But, he doesn't always answer my questions with the answers to the questions.

TriptychR, you're also right. Having fellowship would be great and a major help keeping things from getting all twisted and overblown. Unfortunately, I don't really have any fellowship right now. I have stellar friends who I can talk to online alot of the time but I lack the personal, face-to-face type fellowship from someone actually being here. It's something I really really hope will change soon.

Caelda,

Klewlis, that's something I've thought about as well and am actually doing but how do I know what I'm doing next is the right thing? I see and read of so many people who spent half there lives doing things only to finally discover what they were doing, wasn't really what they wanted to be doing. I don't want to do that. I want to spend my life fulfilling the desires of my heart because those are what God created me with. But, I suppose it's all about trust isn't it? Trusting God isn't going to let me blindly walk into something contrary to my heart.

 

[TriptychR]

TriptychR, you're also right. Having fellowship would be great and a major help keeping things from getting all twisted and overblown. Unfortunately, I don't really have any fellowship right now. I have stellar friends who I can talk to online alot of the time but I lack the personal, face-to-face type fellowship from someone actually being here. It's something I really really hope will change soon.

I know how you feel. My first year of college was horrible. I was faced with loneliness which quickly led to a deep depression. Finding a church with people who cared about me was a great help, though. What is your church situation? Do you have a "family" there?

 

[HeltonPrecision]

The best way to find out what you're supposed to be doing is just to start doing something. Volunteer. Donate your time to your church. It really doesn't matter WHAT you do as long as you do something. In the process you will discover where you fit and where you don't, where your gifts are best used, what you most enjoy, etc. When you find the perfect venue you will know.

I agree totally I know allot of people on here are very lonley ! As am I but, you need to find you a past time something for the lord ,this will benifit you and help others as well ! The Lord will show you the way just keep praying God Bless you

 

[Ginsu]

The best way to find out what you're supposed to be doing is just to start doing something. Volunteer. Donate your time to your church. It really doesn't matter WHAT you do as long as you do something. In the process you will discover where you fit and where you don't, where your gifts are best used, what you most enjoy, etc. When you find the perfect venue you will know.

That is some excellent advice... give and it shall be given back to you..

 

[Raanan]

I know how you feel. My first year of college was horrible. I was faced with loneliness which quickly led to a deep depression. Finding a church with people who cared about me was a great help, though. What is your church situation? Do you have a "family" there?

Don't go to church. Haven't gone in over a year now. Got tired of people trying to change me instead of loving me for me. They never seem to realise change is between me and God. I still live in the same place to so... not like there's anywhere else to go. I'm heading up to college in a month so I have high hopes finding the fellowship I desire then.

 

[klewlis]

Klewlis, that's something I've thought about as well and am actually doing but how do I know what I'm doing next is the right thing? I see and read of so many people who spent half there lives doing things only to finally discover what they were doing, wasn't really what they wanted to be doing. I don't want to do that. I want to spend my life fulfilling the desires of my heart because those are what God created me with. But, I suppose it's all about trust isn't it? Trusting God isn't going to let me blindly walk into something contrary to my heart.

You just have to remain flexible and try lots of different things. Don't just pick one thing and think, "I'm going to do this for the next 20 years". Try a bit of everything. Through highschool and college I tried lots of different types of ministry, as well as several different types of jobs. It wasn't until 3 years after college that I discovered what I want to do as a career longterm--and I discovered that through volunteering. But I tried 20 things before finding that. Now I have a job that I love and that is also ministry, and it is great.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

The best way to find out what you're supposed to be doing is just to start doing something. Volunteer. Donate your time to your church. It really doesn't matter WHAT you do as long as you do something. In the process you will discover where you fit and where you don't, where your gifts are best used, what you most enjoy, etc. When you find the perfect venue you will know.

I agree. Find out what you like to do, do it for God.

Example. I like to play paintball, I like working with teens, and these two desires eventually manifested themselves into a paintball outreach program. I organize paintball outings for youth groups.

The other passion I have is finance. So I started an investment club. How's that help God? Doesn't yet, but the eventual goal is to run an investment club within a church. I get to teach savins and investment, church members get to learn about investment and (hopefully) make some profits, church gets a source of tithe income, etc.

So yeah, I guess it depends on what you're pasionate about. Think about it, find out what it is, then go do it.

just my $0.02.

You could apply the old "If I had 1 million dollars I would ________ all day long. As long as the answer isn't self-serving, it may be a clue as to what you could do.

hope it helps.

e

 

[Apollonian]

You raise some very valid, very important questions, friend, questions which I have asked myself. I have found the beginning of wisdom is the virtue of asking good questions and seeking the answers.

Here are some resources online which have helped me.

Ravi Zacharias International Ministries
(For wisdom regarding the tough questions about God and Life)
www.rzim.com

Christianity Today Online
(There are some good articles on here about issues relevant to today's culture)
www.christianitytoday.com

L'Abri Fellowship International
(A leading movement in the Church to seek answers to questions much like yours)
www.labri.org

Intervarsity Christian Fellowship
(One of the largest fellowship organizations at thousands of Universities across the US)
www.intervarsity.org

Great Commission Ministries
(The internation organization of which my fellowship is a part, they have an excellent vission for how to answer the questions that young people like us are facing)
http://www.gcmweb.org/churches/directory.asp

Godspeed,
-Apollonian