where are the good men?

[dazeeboo]

...

 

[LoneSheep]

So what kind of guys have you been dating and what do you consider a good man? Are you looking at the outside or the inside?

 

[Inkachu]

There are good men out there, just like there are good women out there.

But like any treasure worth finding, they often take time, hard work, patience, prayer and wisdom to discover.

 

[SonicBOOM]

finding good men AND women is a journey worth taking..... I mean don't settle for losers and manipulaters and ect.... but look for the rubies out there.... it's worth it

 

[Balugon]

Hearts, nice touch sonic. I thought i was reading an anime when i read your post.

As to the OP, as far as selection goes, u can check out some christian datings sites for more people to look into. Statistically-wise, being able to sort through guys online in mass quantities according to personality traits and stuff should make things easier, but i'm not saying their aren't creeps on christian dating sites, because their are. But those sites could still help. Though also, a lot of people don't use dating sites, because of some "i dont want to look desparate" fear, and so your "man" may only come over time and seeking and prayer and stuff.

The dating sites I know of that you could check out are Online Christian Dating for Christian Singles | Christian Mingle and Christian Dating for Free | 100% Free Service for Christian Singles (the latter is entirely free).

 

[ido]

I met my good man in a bar. I swore I would never seriously date someone I met in a bar - but it worked for my mom and my sister...and now, apparently, it's worked for me, too.

Oddly enough, I hadn't been out to a bar (I went out to go dancing) in several months, b/c it's just not my scene.

 

[oldfashionedbelle]

I can understand how you feel. I have been through many abusive or otherwise bad relationships and I am quite a bit gun-shy to the world of dating. I made quite a few big mistakes in the years that I spent away from the church and suffered alot. I am trying to rebuild my life now piece by piece but the marriage piece will probably be the last piece of the puzzle. It seems so difficult to find a decent, loving, respectful and kind man today. I wish I had lived years ago when men were more chivalrous and romantic and didn't try to get you into bed on the first date. I miss the days when virtue was valued in the mainstream not just in the minority that I was in. I deeply regret giving up my virtue so irresponsibly and I have made a pact with myself and God that although I cannot undo what I have done I can always stop and not continue further along that path. I will wait forever for the right man if I must, I have learned so much in 5 years and I shall live my life much differently from now on.

 

[Trashionista]

Good men are everywhere. Are you being the type of woman who would attract those good men? Are you putting yourself out there? Are you being patient? Are you looking at every man you meet only as a potential husband or boyfriend, and not as an individual?

 

[deepgreen11]

everywhere. Just live. One day, you'll find a few, all around you.

Seriously...I think I've heard this question way too much lately. Nothing against you. But when people ask where the "good men" or "good ladies" are, it says "I'm not satisfied with any man specimen I've ever seen/dated."

Should you be dating? If so, where are you looking? and how hard are you looking? Are you ruling out a lot of "good" things because they don't seem to line up with what you'd like?

sorry it sounds like you haven't had many good experiences lately. Be open. That's about all I can say...not too experienced myself. Heh.

 

[SearchingWisdom]

First off...welcome dazeeboo!!!

It's hard to find good men sometimes, because the good men don't generally go up to you and start "sweet talking", because they have WAY too much respect for you. They much rather get to know you and not be pushy.

I dated a FABULOUS man! I was in a relationship at the time and therefore he did not want to get in the middle of us, but still wanted to chat from time to time. He wanted to be my friend and he was SO VERY loving. We ended up dating after my relationship had ended.

At the time I was getting all these weird calls from someone in my past and it made it hard on him and I to have a connection. He was more than willing to be a part of my life, but I found the romantic part of it to be too overwhelming at the time (due to certain circumstances). Now we live too far away (since I moved). But he contacts me sometimes to see how I am doing and tells me how he is and about relationships he has. Sounds like the good guys end up with the not-so-nice girls and sometimes...they end up stuck with the broken. I wish I could have been a better girl for him then...he deserves an unbroken and nice girl.

So, men go through it too, but you can see there are good men out there. They are loving, sweet, and kind! Here on this forum you will see that as well. Keep your head up!

My advice...be their friend first. Friends seem to let you know the true them (same on my part...I am more me when just friends) and it gives you a chance to see if you click as buddies first!

Go out and do things you find fun! Then...have fun!! It's best to start out with someone that has something in common with you.

OldfashionedBelle...I am SOOO sorry that you have been through abusive relationships! Not all men will do the things that you have run across. There are so many wonderful guys out there that would NEVER lay a hand on you. Actually, there are men that find it down right wrong and will do all they can to protect the girl they see being beat. Men that don't know you and men that you would not consider "nice" people would do everything they could to get a woman out of a situation like that. I don't know the statistics on it, but I am willing to bet most men would not consider hitting a woman or child.

I hope and pray you can get over being "gun shy" with men. Men are great people just like women. We are all people and we have good and bad in both genders. Keep your head up!!!

 

[latteda]

Hello everybody,
I have had such a hard time finding good men that I have pretty much given up. I haven't dated anybody for about 4 years now. Every man I have been involved with has been controlling and I just got really tired of somebody else trying to run my life.

So my question is for any women out there who have found a good man...how did you meet? How do you find somebody who loves and respects you? And how do you know if he's a pretender or a genuinely nice person? Some men can very convincingly act like a nice guy...for a while anyway.

Four years isn't really that long in the grand scheme of things.

My man and I met through a mutual friend but I didn't consider him as anything else for a couple of years after that. Yes, he loves and respects me every day. I know he's genuine because he makes sacrifices for me and has the entire year we've been together, and because I see him working to make our relationship strong and mature. By the way, neither of us had dated anyone for 8-10 years before we started dating each other.

I think if you don't get into a hurry and let your desires cloud your judgement it's easier to clearly see a person for what they truly are.

Good men are out there. Try not to be discouraged. Remember, God "makes all things beautiful in His time."

 

[Jerimi]

I am a God fearing southern boy from Texas. I cook, clean, make good money. I am moderately intelligent, somewhat decent looking, spontaneous and adventurous. I can dance, sing and understand (abide by) concepts like monogamy, honesty, love and moral fortitude. I was raised by old morals and, though I get in trouble from time to time, I am always the first to admit a mistake and always concerned with resolving it.


Please form an orderly line to the left and have a full dating resume available for my review

 

[Keri]

Hello everybody,
I have had such a hard time finding good men that I have pretty much given up. I haven't dated anybody for about 4 years now. Every man I have been involved with has been controlling and I just got really tired of somebody else trying to run my life.

So my question is for any women out there who have found a good man...how did you meet? How do you find somebody who loves and respects you? And how do you know if he's a pretender or a genuinely nice person? Some men can very convincingly act like a nice guy...for a while anyway.

I met a good man here on CF, but we weren't right for each other. Nonetheless, he was a good man.

I met my husband at Bible College. Almost every guy here (except for the few married guys) are single, Christian men.

They're out there, you just gotta trust in God to bring you him when it's time. I tried to "find him" on my own, but all those ended in disaster.

 

[SearchingWisdom]

I am a God fearing southern boy from Texas. I cook, clean, make good money. I am moderately intelligent, somewhat decent looking, spontaneous and adventurous. I can dance, sing and understand (abide by) concepts like monogamy, honesty, love and morale fortitude. I was raised by old morals and, though I get in trouble from time to time, I am always the first to admit a mistake and always concerned with resolving it.


Please form an orderly line to the left and have a full dating resume available for my review

LOL---You are sooo FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Jerimi]

LOL---You are sooo FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm funny. Thanks for pointing that out SW.

SEE! I'm so good that I have attributes I don't even know about!

 

[SearchingWisdom]

And I'm funny. Thanks for pointing that out SW.

SEE! I'm so good that I have attributes I don't even know about!

LOL---Too bad you live so far away...you make me laugh!!!

 

[Oddish]

Doveaman, makes a good point.

 

[JasperJackson]

<staff edit>

As for where the good men are... They're quite possibly not ready yet and God is preparing them for marriage. I know that's the case for me. I'm nearing 30 but I have to admit to myself I'm not ready yet. Nearly, but not quite. I've got a couple of things to get straight first before I can think about taking care of a wife and loving her as Christ loves us.

 

[Jerimi]

LOL---Too bad you live so far away...you make me laugh!!!

If the temperature doesn't settle back down to under 100°f soon, I may not live that far away as I am contemplating migrating north. LoL

 

[Im_A]

"Mr. Perfect don´t exist my little friend
And I tell you it again, and I do it again"
Volbeat-Still Counting