When you're doing well...

[LovebirdsFlying]

Do you ever, as I do, feel like a phony when you've had a long stretch of healthy, productive behavior? "This isn't me. Everybody knows I'm actually a whack job. I'm just faking it, pretending I'm sane and capable." This is one reason I can't get behind the "fake it til you make it" adage. I feel like I'm not being honest.

But if I'm doing healthy, productive things when I actually do feel good, I'm not faking it. It's real. Yet I still want to tell myself it's a fluke, and the real me will be out again later. I still have this image of myself as a louse-up, who isn't scripted to succeed in life. I feel like the screenplay for my life has me as a chew toy character, that good things aren't supposed to happen to. In my intellect I know this isn't true, but I have trouble with the nagging thought.

 

[turkle]

Do you ever, as I do, feel like a phony when you've had a long stretch of healthy, productive behavior? "This isn't me. Everybody knows I'm actually a whack job. I'm just faking it, pretending I'm sane and capable." This is one reason I can't get behind the "fake it til you make it" adage. I feel like I'm not being honest.

But if I'm doing healthy, productive things when I actually do feel good, I'm not faking it. It's real. Yet I still want to tell myself it's a fluke, and the real me will be out again later. I still have this image of myself as a louse-up, who isn't scripted to succeed in life. I feel like the screenplay for my life has me as a chew toy character, that good things aren't supposed to happen to. In my intellect I know this isn't true, but I have trouble with the nagging thought.

In the coaching business, we call this "stinkin' thinkin'". You KNOW it's not true. God tells you it's not true. Yet you hold on to the old tapes that play over and over in your mind. Your subconscious is not capable of discerning a lie, so it simply believes what you have told it over and over.

The Lord says that we are to take captive every thought. Therefore, when you have a stinkin' thought, stop and immediately replace it with truth. Arm yourself with what God says about you, and don't allow yourself to believe the lies.

We behave the way we perceive ourselves. If we insist that we are losers, we behave like losers. Change the tape in your mind to what God says you are: you are the light of the world, you are the apple of His eye, you are the daughter of the King, you are the salt of the earth. And then start behaving accordingly.

Recognize the lies you tell yourself, and stop them in their tracks. It takes some practice, but it is entirely possible to change your thought patterns. Pray for wisdom and discernment, and don't allow the enemy to toy with you any longer.

 

[elephunky]

I found that I only thought it was fake, put on or imagined when I get back into that dark place. Yet when I am experiencing things going well, I take it as it seems.

 

[Rhamiel]

when I am doing well I think "how could I ever not be doing well? it is so clear, I am nice and people like to be around me and I am pretty smart"

when I am not doing well I think "how could I ever think I could make it? it is so clear, I am useless"

 

[Jeshu]

I have the opposite reality to you lovebirdsflying. I find that when I'm well then I can see the truth again and the burdens of the lies depression is so full of are gone.

It can be so terrible hard to fight the lies of depression for they can seem so true and final - they are so incredible captivating when depressed, yet when I'm well then it is not hard to believe in the truth any more and it seems silly to believe in the lies of depression, for such thinking is so obviously untrue.

The challenge I face is to NEVER believe my depression - no matter how depressed I am - to hold onto the truth of God for He knows it so much better than depression can ever know His truth to be.