When will it end?

[GloriousRuins]

I haven't posted in a while. There's a good reason for that. I haven't needed to. God has been working and the struggle has been decreasing and life was becoming life again. I had 3 or 4 days where it was almost absolute paradise. But I gave into temptation about 4 days ago and it's been hell ever since. The thoughts are back and stronger then ever. If you haven't read my previous posts I've been dealing with an issue where I feel like I'm turned on or attracted to even though in my heart I know I'm not. I've come to the conclusion I'm not turned on by these thoughts but I'm to the point where the thoughts in general are haunting me. I literally can't sleep, when I do sleep as soon as I even open my eyes it's like a battlefield. The thoughts get worse and I keep asking myself when will this end? I mean, I've been fighting for my life and it's only getting harder. God has brought me through things I could of swore I never would. But it just leads to something worse. I'm just asking for prayer and some support. I feel like I'm losing the battle, my mind, my freedom, and I feel like this cloud of shame and darkness is over me. Please pray for me.

 

[adam7272]

Hi I sent you a private message some weeks ago, did you get a change to read? The advise I offered really helped me and is worth considering.

 

[BornAgain54]

I am struggling with this exact stuff. Id post a link to the topic where grace and paul reply with helpful material but my post count is not high enough. If you look for "OCD about sex" mabye the material they posted for me will be helpful.

Also I will pray for you.

 

[GloriousRuins]

Hi I sent you a private message some weeks ago, did you get a change to read? The advise I offered really helped me and is worth considering.

Hey! Sorry for not responding, I can't respond because I only have 13 posts, you need 15 pm. As everyone on the page knows it's been a rough time for me. I've gone into detail with my dad and he told me that "it's not me" and that my "hormones" are probably playing tricks with me. It did help and your message really gave me courage to tell him! So thank you! But the issue I'm having is the thoughts and the images keep showing up and it's driving me insane. It's almost as if everything I see the enemy turns it perverted and it's just really frustrating. Lately I've gone out of my to avoid temptation and that's when this season started. I had been dealing with an issue of looking at things on the computer I really shouldn't have been. When I said enough I'm ready to move on, that's when this season started so it's just been really hard and I'm having issues moving past it.

 

[adam7272]

Hello, I totally understand and please know you are not alone. I was about your age when my thoughts got really bad, and it contributed to years of destructive behavior because I didn't understand what was going on. I of course was at fault for my bad behavior, and do not blame my ocd, but I also wasn't a believer at the time and these struggles were used to bring me to faith. I am so glad that you are a believer and you have your faith and a church around you to help you.
I can't fully explain the severity of the shame and isolation I lived in for years because of these thoughts, but I never understood what was going on. I was absultely suicidal at points, drowning all my sorrows in drugs, alcohol, and bad living. Now that I understand the nature of OCD type thinking, I am better equipped to handle it when it comes.
The true path to victory really is to stop engaging the thoughts or trying to reverse or answer them, no matter how hard that is. The thoughts are not real and do not reflect real desires in us, but rather keep coming up because of our response to them. It is like a school bully, if you ignore him he will eventually got tired of bugging you and leave you alone. But if you continue to react to him, he will feed on that reaction and keep picking on you.
The believer is secure in the righteousness of Jesus, and even if we could fully reverse these thoughts or answer them, or deal with them in such a way as to atone for them, that wouldn't be enough righteousness to save us. Only Jesus righteousness is sufficient for you before God, so please look to Him. When the devil accuses you, this leads us to thanksgiving because our righteousness truly is insufficient, and Jesus' righteousness is fully 100% sufficient before God.
My heart goes out to you because I relate with being a young man and struggling so deeply. I pray that you find relief soon and will not allow this issue to interfere with great years in your life. I am here if I can help in any way.

 

[adam7272]

Hello
Check out this article I think it might help

Sexual Obsessions in OCD (Unwanted Sexual Thoughts)

 

[GloriousRuins]

Hello, I totally understand and please know you are not alone. I was about your age when my thoughts got really bad, and it contributed to years of destructive behavior because I didn't understand what was going on. I of course was at fault for my bad behavior, and do not blame my ocd, but I also wasn't a believer at the time and these struggles were used to bring me to faith. I am so glad that you are a believer and you have your faith and a church around you to help you.
I can't fully explain the severity of the shame and isolation I lived in for years because of these thoughts, but I never understood what was going on. I was absultely suicidal at points, drowning all my sorrows in drugs, alcohol, and bad living. Now that I understand the nature of OCD type thinking, I am better equipped to handle it when it comes.
The true path to victory really is to stop engaging the thoughts or trying to reverse or answer them, no matter how hard that is. The thoughts are not real and do not reflect real desires in us, but rather keep coming up because of our response to them. It is like a school bully, if you ignore him he will eventually got tired of bugging you and leave you alone. But if you continue to react to him, he will feed on that reaction and keep picking on you.
The believer is secure in the righteousness of Jesus, and even if we could fully reverse these thoughts or answer them, or deal with them in such a way as to atone for them, that wouldn't be enough righteousness to save us. Only Jesus righteousness is sufficient for you before God, so please look to Him. When the devil accuses you, this leads us to thanksgiving because our righteousness truly is insufficient, and Jesus' righteousness is fully 100% sufficient before God.
My heart goes out to you because I relate with being a young man and struggling so deeply. I pray that you find relief soon and will not allow this issue to interfere with great years in your life. I am here if I can help in any way.

Thanks! That article did help, I've been trying my best to not confront the thoughts. To basically do my hardest to ignore them. It's quite difficult because I feel as if I'm accepting them. I know it's not the case but it's still very difficult.

 

[fireof god98]

the lord is a good sheperead he will help.