I am a 25 year old male. I struggle with lust and desire sex like any other man, though have never actually been tempted by pornography. Instead, I have been struggling with a fetish for women tied up all my life and used to use fetish websites a lot. It's been a few years since I last did this regularly, but I've had the occasional slip-up and gone on these websites perhaps twice a year since. The last time was the beginning of March, and July 2015 before that. I sometimes still struggle not to touch when I wake up, or at night if I can't sleep.
Firstly, I would love to seek accountability with somebody about this. Either somebody who has/had similar struggles, and/or a counsellor who may be experienced with this. However, both are hard to find, and any pointers would be greatly appreciated.
Secondly, I have questions about how this affects a (potential) romantic relationship. I've been seeing a woman for a while now and as we get closer I've found my determination to overcome this completely significantly stronger. My temptations are much less strong and I feel pretty confident I wouldn't use the internet for gratification again, but I accept that's very, very naïve and that I could slip up again at any time.
We've been seeing each other a lot but we are not officially in a relationship yet. However she says she's close to making a decision and we are very close friends. I feel I should open up to her about my struggles with this strange fetish, but naturally, I'm terrified, and I'm unsure when the right time to do it is. Before we're officially a couple seems too early to open up about such an intimate part of my life, but I'm worried it will break her heart more if I wait too long. She had a difficult breakup before (for completely different reasons) and I'm terrified this will make her afraid she always falls for the wrong guys.
I have some questions that I would truly appreciate answers to:
1) When is the right time to open up to her about it?
2) How much should I tell her? Is there any argument for not telling her about it at all?
3) Is it even too early for me to be in a relationship at all? Should I wait until I've gone longer without using the internet for gratification?
Thank you and God Bless
Firstly, I would love to seek accountability with somebody about this. Either somebody who has/had similar struggles, and/or a counsellor who may be experienced with this. However, both are hard to find, and any pointers would be greatly appreciated.
Secondly, I have questions about how this affects a (potential) romantic relationship. I've been seeing a woman for a while now and as we get closer I've found my determination to overcome this completely significantly stronger. My temptations are much less strong and I feel pretty confident I wouldn't use the internet for gratification again, but I accept that's very, very naïve and that I could slip up again at any time.
We've been seeing each other a lot but we are not officially in a relationship yet. However she says she's close to making a decision and we are very close friends. I feel I should open up to her about my struggles with this strange fetish, but naturally, I'm terrified, and I'm unsure when the right time to do it is. Before we're officially a couple seems too early to open up about such an intimate part of my life, but I'm worried it will break her heart more if I wait too long. She had a difficult breakup before (for completely different reasons) and I'm terrified this will make her afraid she always falls for the wrong guys.
I have some questions that I would truly appreciate answers to:
1) When is the right time to open up to her about it?
2) How much should I tell her? Is there any argument for not telling her about it at all?
3) Is it even too early for me to be in a relationship at all? Should I wait until I've gone longer without using the internet for gratification?
Thank you and God Bless
