when the wrong guy loves you soooo right!

[BlackRain]

i've only really liked one guy and it just so happens i shouldn't. old feelings for this friend of mine are coming back and he is not the right guy for me at all! it's just hard to put those feelings away when they're so strong. i'm glad that we don't live in the same town because that would make it worse. the 3 hours in between is a blessing. he just brings out the worst side of me...the OLD side of me, that i don't care to revisit. i've changed and he's remained pretty much the same. i cut communications between us since thanksgiving because of that reason and we just started talking again because he needed someone to talk to about something and i was that someone. yes, i can confide in him like no one else, but dang you, i don't know what i'm doing. it's just hard. i love him so much...sincerely love him. not like lovey dovey, but in the brother in Christ, best friend way. we talked about us the other night for the first time. it was weird, but we needed to. he asked me if there was a chance of my liking for him to resurrect again and i made the mistake in saying, "i don't know...maybe, but i'm not for sure." why couldn't i have just said "NO!" i'm really not liking myself for saying that. he needs to know that there's no chance for us ever! i just need to find the right time to tell him...which i'm dreading, by the way. this sucks. i think i'm afraid to tell him that because when i say it, it's final. you know. it's real to me then, that there's no hope for us and in a way that makes me sad because we do care for eachother a lot!! but, we're not meant to be together and i know that for a fact. we want 2 separate things in life and the Lord is really convicting me of this. see, this is exactly why i am single!! it's all so complicated. who needs a guy anyway?!?! girls, it's ok to be single!! see what you're missing? why can't the right guy just come along. any day, God...no, what am i saying. i love my single life. hate watching everyone get married, but i really do like my life. i'm just praying that my feelings for my friend will go completely away because if they don't i may have to block him off, and i really don't want to do that again beacuse i hurt him so badly when i did that before. it seems like that's the only way out, to me. i think i'm making myself believe that i need him in my life. i don't at all! i was ok without him. he was going insane without me, but that's beside the point. *sigh* this is getting old. this is why i stopped talking to him. it tears me up thinking about not talking to him anymore, but at the same time i feel that's what God wants me to do...again. this is so hard for me, right now. i don't really know what any of you can say. i guess i'm just rambling on.

anyway, i hope yall are having a GREAT day!! stay strong, girls!!

 

[boilerblues]

wow, it looks like your mind is really muddy on this.

Question, what makes him the wrong guy?

A thought, you need to set good boundaries with this guy. You might check out the book "Boundaries in Dating" It might help you get back to safe place in your relationship with this guy. Sounds like it would be good for him to read it also.

 

[BlackSaab52]

If you've really come to the conclusion that he's the wrong guy, then you should be honest with him and tell him so. I would keep your distance from him so your feelings for him do die off (if he really is the wrong guy), even though it hurts. If he really brings out the worst in you, then I wouldn't bother dating this person.
I remember when me and my GF broke up, that feelings for her would continually come back, and unlike you, I wasn't 3 hr away from my ex, I went to the same school. But eventually things died off between us. You'll just have to give it some time for the old feelings to die off, and hopefully God will lead you to someone new who will bring out the best in you.

I'm actually enjoying being single right now. I like the independence, even though it is lonely. Hopefully God will lead me to a wonderful girl later, when I can't tolerate being single anymore.

 

[findinghope06]

If you've really come to the conclusion that he's the wrong guy, then you should be honest with him and tell him so. I would keep your distance from him so your feelings for him do die off (if he really is the wrong guy), even though it hurts. If he really brings out the worst in you, then I wouldn't bother dating this person.
I remember when me and my GF broke up, that feelings for her would continually come back, and unlike you, I wasn't 3 hr away from my ex, I went to the same school. But eventually things died off between us. You'll just have to give it some time for the old feelings to die off, and hopefully God will lead you to someone new who will bring out the best in you.

I'm actually enjoying being single right now. I like the independence, even though it is lonely. Hopefully God will lead me to a wonderful girl later, when I can't tolerate being single anymore.

i agree!!! i was in a very similiar situation that you are in but God made it clear that he wasnt the right guy for me even though my feelings for him were so strong and his feelings were strong for me, we talked and we both know that its not going to work. unfortunatly we have to work w/ each other all summer so its a real test to make sure nothing happens. but i really like being single. yes its hard to watch people courting or getting married but the thought that God has that planned for me one day is exciting! i would just really talk with this guy again (and if you REALLY feel that he isnt the one for you, you really need to tell him) good luck with everything and i will be praying for you. Stay strong and keep praying!! God will bring someone along for you that is so wonderful and will only bring out the best in you. Its only a matter of time!

 

[Equineartchick]

I know how you feel! I just recently met a really awesome guy online (of all places, lol) and after praying I felt he wasn't right for me. It was really tough because he was the only guy I'd ever felt that close to. (I've never had a bf) I am actually in the process of breaking it off now and even though I've never met him face to face it is still hard! But it needs to be done. I try to look at it this way- you felt THIS guy was great? Just wait til you see who God has for you in the future, he must be awesome and well worth the wait!!!

 

[Eagle_Wings]

I try to look at it this way- you felt THIS guy was great? Just wait til you see who God has for you in the future, he must be awesome and well worth the wait!!!

Awesome way to look at. This is totally what I mean whenever I say that God has some guy out there that's better then anything I could ever imagine for myself!

 

[BlackRain]

Question, what makes him the wrong guy?

the Lord has made it obvious in many converstations i've had with him. also, we both want different things in life. he's fixin to go the army national guard and he has no interest in missions, whatsoever. that was a set back from the get go. i'm really going to have to get rid of these feelings. i've told him most of what i said above. maybe i just need to be more specific about it. i don't know. i'll figure it out.

 

[MastersGirl]

Wow! This sounds really familiar... and i don't really have a solution to your problem.. but i will tell u what i have learned through my experience.
-Cutting off contact with a person doesn't always make things easier... you regret the fact that you had to cut off contact and sometimes feel guity for hurting then because of it.
-A lot of contact with ur ex is NOT a good thing when u still have feelings for him because you can talk yourself into making it okay to go out wiht him again
-Always be honest with you ex about your intentions... they have been hurt enough and they do not want to be stung along anymore than they have been already...
-Basically you need to be honest about your intentions and decide what you are going to do and stick by that.
I know this is a hard decision and let me know how it works out.. i have been there hun! I am rooting for ya and i know that with God's help you will make the right decision.
MG

 

[Inperfected]

Yes to the post above... Man oh Man it hurts, but honestly to cut off close contact (ie close talks and that...) is the best solution...

Last year i broke up with a guy, and nearly 3 months later at a sleepover/party (my best friends 18th) we ended up talking for 3 hours... By ourselves since everyone was away doing summin.... Closest talk we had ever had, and quite honestly that cut me up for months.

Think about it: If you're this messed up, how bad is he? You have to watch out for him too....

 

[BlackRain]

Think about it: If you're this messed up, how bad is he? You have to watch out for him too....

you're right...unfortunetly.

so why did i choose to talk to him for 4 hours the other day? i'm so mad at myself. i wish i had never started talking to him again. i think i am going to have to cut communication off. he's fixin to go off into the military and i'll just do it then. or now. dear Lord, this is crazy.

thanks yall!!

 

[JPPT1974]

the Lord has made it obvious in many converstations i've had with him. also, we both want different things in life. he's fixin to go the army national guard and he has no interest in missions, whatsoever. that was a set back from the get go. i'm really going to have to get rid of these feelings. i've told him most of what i said above. maybe i just need to be more specific about it. i don't know. i'll figure it out.

Maybe you both have indeed different things in life and that you both need to pray to God in what you feel is best for you both and try maybe perhaps to support one another. And at least talk to one another about your thoughts and feelings.