When the depressive stage hits

[Migdala]

So I seem to be a fairly strong Christian when my mood is "normal", which unfortunantly is only maybe one day out of the week. lol

But when I get in my depressed stage, I hate everyone, am very jealous of other Christians who are "at peace" in Jesus, and I simply cannot get it to sink in my head that the Holy Spirit is even in me at all-I feel spiritually dead, sense evil spirits, etc.

I do a lot of very negative talking against God, Holy Spirit, and Jesus when I'm like this-I feel that they are not in me at all and that I am headed to Hell in a handbasket. I cry and cry and pray for death (I would never commit suicide, but I do pray for death when I get depressed).

Nothing anyone says to me helps at all either-I'll be in my "dark place" and I have a huge wall around me that no one can get in-especially not God.

It terrifies me because I think of the verses in the Bible that refers to the Israelites and how not all of them made it to the Promised Land because of their complaining and unbelief...the exact way that I am when I'm in my depressed stage.

I've prayed and prayed that God will take this disease away from me, and I've prayed and prayed that He will forgive me for the negative words and complaining that I do when I'm depressed.

But then it happens again a couple of days later. And I start thinking about how God only put up with the complainers for a short time in the Old Testament, and how not all of them made it to the Promised Land (Heaven in our case).

Anyone else get like this? If so, I'd love to PM someone, but my post count is not high enough yet. lol

 

[Jeshu]

So I seem to be a fairly strong Christian when my mood is "normal", which unfortunantly is only maybe one day out of the week. lol

But when I get in my depressed stage, I hate everyone, am very jealous of other Christians who are "at peace" in Jesus, and I simply cannot get it to sink in my head that the Holy Spirit is even in me at all-I feel spiritually dead, sense evil spirits, etc.

I do a lot of very negative talking against God, Holy Spirit, and Jesus when I'm like this-I feel that they are not in me at all and that I am headed to Hell in a handbasket. I cry and cry and pray for death (I would never commit suicide, but I do pray for death when I get depressed).

Nothing anyone says to me helps at all either-I'll be in my "dark place" and I have a huge wall around me that no one can get in-especially not God.

It terrifies me because I think of the verses in the Bible that refers to the Israelites and how not all of them made it to the Promised Land because of their complaining and unbelief...the exact way that I am when I'm in my depressed stage.

I've prayed and prayed that God will take this disease away from me, and I've prayed and prayed that He will forgive me for the negative words and complaining that I do when I'm depressed.

But then it happens again a couple of days later. And I start thinking about how God only put up with the complainers for a short time in the Old Testament, and how not all of them made it to the Promised Land (Heaven in our case).

Anyone else get like this? If so, I'd love to PM someone, but my post count is not high enough yet. lol

Dear sister I know so well how you feel.

The problem is a lack of forgiveness and love, especially on your own part. Because you mood is foul you say and think foul things - liking raging and the like. It is hard to serve God when we are like that.


There is HOPE!


The best way to heal from your affliction is to give your bad life to Jesus - don't try not be like it - don't think you can be like this - but ask Jesus to shape you as His anyway for you can't be different than you are.

Please EAT God's GRACE as ONLY diet!

His love will slowly grow in your bad life and you will begin to feel thankful and love Jesus more and more as time goes by, after a few years you wont even recognise yourself any more for you will still be there but your bad life will be gone or is in the process of going!!!


What you sow in tears will reap a harvest of joy!


I have been getting away from my bad life for 4 years now and feel on top of the world even when I rage - for Jesus taught me to rage at Satan, not God, myself and others any more! Such is good fun, when rage hits let me tell you!!!


Let Christ be King over all your moods - that is how I have learned to deal with highs, and lows, mania, and lately my frequent psychoses.

He is a most excellent King!!!



This is what Jesus says to those struggles to keep good life in charge!



Psalm 21

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

O LORD, the king rejoices in your strength.
How great is his joy in the victories you give! You have granted him the desire of his heart
and have not withheld the request of his lips.

Selah


You welcomed him with rich blessings
and placed a crown of pure gold on his head.
He asked you for life, and you gave it to him—
length of days, for ever and ever.
Through the victories you gave, his glory is great;
you have bestowed on him splendor and majesty.
Surely you have granted him eternal blessings
and made him glad with the joy of your presence.
For the king trusts in the LORD;
through the unfailing love of the Most High
he will not be shaken.
Your hand will lay hold on all your enemies;
your right hand will seize your foes.
At the time of your appearing
you will make them like a fiery furnace.
In his wrath the LORD will swallow them up,
and his fire will consume them.
You will destroy their descendants from the earth,
their posterity from mankind.
Though they plot evil against you
and devise wicked schemes, they cannot succeed;
for you will make them turn their backs
when you aim at them with drawn bow.
Be exalted, O LORD, in your strength;
we will sing and praise your might.